Friday, June 27, 2014

Confidence Is . . .

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Confidence has always been a struggle for me.

The majority of my twenties was spent looking at pictures of my teenage self and melodramatically weeping over the fact that I never took pictures of my 18 year old boobs that I could longingly admire in my late twenties, recalling their perkiness. I had plenty of other pictures to feel sad over. Pictures of beautifully tan skin, an un-dimpled ass, long thick hair, and a waist that was miraculously smaller than my hips.

But I always forget that teenage Jia was filled with self pity and hatred. She picked at her skin in the mirror obsessively, weighed herself compulsively, and cried herself to sleep over the fact that her friends were all skinnier than she was. Aside from that, teenage Jia hid herself away behind others who stood out more.

Most of my friends that I've remained in touch with recall me as this wild, outgoing girl with brightly colored hair and a personality to match. A confidence that I borrowed from my friends who were wilder, more outgoing and more brightly colored than I was. I stood in their shadows because the warmth of their light came without the fear of standing out on my own.

I faked it trying to make it, but I still went home feeling sorry for myself.

"Confidence... We Got This" An amazing project by Brittany Herself that I am beyond proud to have participated in! 

Confidence can still be struggle some days, but now I have tools to work through it.

When I started being my authentic self online I discovered that I wasn't alone. I began taking risks. Wearing red lipstick and dressing to show instead of to hide. And then one day several years ago, I dyed my hair pink. Pink isn't something you can hide. Confidence or not, you walk out of the house with pink hair, you are forcing the world to draw their eyes to you. And I lucked out. Because my beautiful community here in New Mexico is filled with artists, bright individuals with souls that are yearning for equally bright hair - and many do! Pink became my confidence, and soon I was taking more and more challenges to face my fears of self doubt. Bare arms, short hair, and bikinis!

"I wish I could have your confidence." 

My sister said that to me a few weeks ago. We were headed to the pool and I was wearing the same tankini that I've had for way too many years. Cleavage spilling out of my top and my belly exposed, I strutted toward the pool beside my little sister who weighs almost 100 pounds less than me.

"Do I look like shit?" I asked her.

"What?! No, of course not!" She replied.

"Then why should I feel like shit?" Was my answer.

It's something that's taken me WAY too long to learn - and I still have to remind myself every single day. Sometimes I have her remind me. Sometimes it's my best friend, or my husband. Sometimes it's hundreds of like-minded women in the beautiful tribe of curvacious kindred spirits that I've found online.

I want to tell teenage Jia that she won't always have to force that smile when she looks in the mirror. One day she'll catch herself by surprise.

----

So much thanks to Brittany and the girls at Curvy Girl Guide who daily inspire me to love myself. Please check out "Confidence... We Got This" and show support for everyone who chooses to step out of their comfort zone for this incredible project!

14 comments:

Kim said...

I'm working on confidence this year. It's been a big one for me and it's also my word for 2014. It's a constant struggle as you said but I'm determined to feel good about myself again.

You rock, my friend. Kudos to you for kicking ass and staying confident.

Untypically Jia said...

You should totally join Curvy Girl Guide!

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Natasha Johnson said...

How to Save Your Relationship And Marriage from Divorce or broke up

An amazing testimony on a spell caster who brought my husband back to me.. My name is Natasha Johnson,i live in Florida,USA,and I'm happily married to a lovely and caring husband ,with two kids.A very big problem occurred in my family seven months ago,between me and my husband .so terrible that he took the case to court for a divorce.he said that he never wanted to stay with me again,and that he didn't love me anymore.So he packed out of the house and made me and my children passed through severe pain. I tried all my possible means to get him back,after much begging,but all to no avail.and he confirmed it that he has made his decision,and he never wanted to see me again. So on one evening,as i was coming back from work,i met an old friend of mine who asked of my husband .So i explained every thing to him,so he told me that the only way i can get my husband back,is to visit a spell caster,because it has really worked for him too.So i never believed in spell,but i had no other choice,than to follow his advice. Then he gave me the email address of the spell caster whom he visited.{bravespellcaster@gmail.com}. So the next morning,i sent a mail to the address he gave to me,and the spell caster assured me that i will get my husband back the next day.What an amazing statement!! I never believed,so he spoke with me,and told me everything that i need to do. Then the next morning, So surprisingly, my husband who didn't call me for the past seven {7}months,gave me a call to inform me that he was coming back.So Amazing!! So that was how he came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and he apologized for his mistake,and for the pain he caused me and my children. Then from that day,our relationship was now stronger than how it were before,by the help of a spell caster. So, i will advice you out there to kindly visit the same website { http://enchantedscents.tripod.com/lovespell/},if you are in any condition like this,or you have any problem related to "bringing your ex back. So thanks to the Dr Brave for bringing back my husband ,and brought great joy to my family once again. {bravespellcaster@gmail.com}, Thanks..,,..,

faith12 said...

Hello, my name is Miss faith, I'm from USA. I want to inform you all that there is a spell caster that is genuine and real. I never really believed in any of these things but when I was losing Garvin, I needed help and somewhere to turn badly. I found consultant.odia spells and i ordered a LOVE SPELL. Several days later, my phone rang. Garvin was his old self again and wanted to come back to me! Not only come back, the spell caster opened him up to how much I loved and needed him. Spell Casting isn't brainwashing, but they opened his eyes to how much we have to share together. I recommend anyone who is in my old situation to try it. It will bring you a wonderful surprises as well as your lover back to you. The way things were meant to be." you can contact the spell caster on ogbonispelitemple@hotmail.com he's very nice and great. ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Natasha Johnson said...

How to Get your lover back after a Divorce or Breakup without any delay..

An amazing testimony on a spell caster who brought my husband back to me.. My name is Natasha Johnson,i live in Florida,USA,and I'm happily married to a lovely and caring husband ,with two kids.A very big problem occurred in my family seven months ago,between me and my husband .so terrible that he took the case to court for a divorce.he said that he never wanted to stay with me again,and that he didn't love me anymore.So he packed out of the house and made me and my children passed through severe pain. I tried all my possible means to get him back,after much begging,but all to no avail.and he confirmed it that he has made his decision,and he never wanted to see me again. So on one evening,as i was coming back from work,i met an old friend of mine who asked of my husband .So i explained every thing to him,so he told me that the only way i can get my husband back,is to visit a spell caster,because it has really worked for him too.So i never believed in spell,but i had no other choice,than to follow his advice. Then he gave me the email address of the spell caster whom he visited.{bravespellcaster@gmail.com}. So the next morning,i sent a mail to the address he gave to me,and the spell caster assured me that i will get my husband back the next day.What an amazing statement!! I never believed,so he spoke with me,and told me everything that i need to do. Then the next morning, So surprisingly, my husband who didn't call me for the past seven {7}months,gave me a call to inform me that he was coming back.So Amazing!! So that was how he came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and he apologized for his mistake,and for the pain he caused me and my children. Then from that day,our relationship was now stronger than how it were before,by the help of a spell caster. So, i will advice you out there to kindly visit the same website { http://enchantedscents.tripod.com/lovespell/},if you are in any condition like this,or you have any problem related to "bringing your ex back. So thanks to the Dr Brave for bringing back my husband ,and brought great joy to my family once again. {bravespellcaster@gmail.com }, Thanks..,,,

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Natasha Johnson said...

Do you need an urgent spell to get your ex back, there is a great spiritualist who can help you, his name is Dr Brave!!

An amazing testimony on a spell caster who brought my husband back to me.. My name is Natasha Johnson,i live in Florida,USA,and I'm happily married to a lovely and caring husband ,with three kids. A very big problem occurred in my family seven months ago,between me and my husband .so terrible that he took the case to court for a divorce.he said that he never wanted to stay with me again,and that he didn't love me anymore.So he packed out of the house and made me and my children passed through severe pain. I tried all my possible means to get him back,after much begging,but all to no avail.and he confirmed it that he has made his decision,and he never wanted to see me again. So on one evening,as i was coming back from work,i met an old friend of mine who asked of my husband .So i explained every thing to him,so he told me that the only way i can get my husband back,is to visit a spell caster,because it has really worked for him too.So i never believed in spell,but i had no other choice,than to follow his advice. Then he gave me the email address of the spell caster whom he visited.{bravespellcaster@gmail.com}. So the next morning,i sent a mail to the address he gave to me,and the spell caster assured me that i will get my husband back the next day.What an amazing statement!! I never believed,so he spoke with me,and told me everything that i need to do. Then the next morning, So surprisingly, my husband who didn't call me for the past seven {7}months,gave me a call to inform me that he was coming back.So Amazing!! So that was how he came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and he apologized for his mistake,and for the pain he caused me and my children. Then from that day,our relationship was now stronger than how it were before,by the help of a spell caster. So, i will advice you out there to kindly visit the same website { http://enchantedscents.tripod.com/lovespell/},if you are in any condition like this,or you have any problem related to "bringing your ex back. So thanks to the Dr Brave for bringing back my husband ,and brought great joy to my family once again. { bravespellcaster@gmail.com }, Thanks..,,,

Tracy Jones said...

Unimaginable and unbelievable. I am Tracy Jones from the United States and i have a good news to share to the entire world. Do you need your ex husband or lover urgently? I wanna tell you that you need not to worry because i have a good news for those out there that are faced or similar to such situation because there is always a hope and a solution to all problem. There is a great spell caster called Dr Eku who can really solve your problem. Getting my lover back is what i can't imagine but when I was losing Newton, I needed help and somewhere to turn badly but my Aunty told me about this spell caster who also helped her on the internet. I thought it won't work but i just tried to give this man a chance and i ordered a LOVE SPELL. Two days later, my phone rang. Newton was his old self again and wanted to come back to me! Not only come back, the spell caster opened him up to know how much I loved and needed him. This Spell Casting isn’t brainwashing, but he opened up his eyes to know how much we have to share together. I recommend anyone who is in my old situation to try him because he will help you and make things be the way it ought to be. If you have such problem or similar to this, please contact him on his email
drekuperfectspells@yahoo.com and just visit DREKUPERFECTSPELLS.blogspot.com and see so many people testifying about his perfect work. thank you Dr Eku and may your gods ever reward you for your good deeds..


Unimaginable and unbelievable. I am Tracy Jones from the United States and i have a good news to share to the entire world. Do you need your ex husband or lover urgently? I wanna tell you that you need not to worry because i have a good news for those out there that are faced or similar to such situation because there is always a hope and a solution to all problem. There is a great spell caster called Dr Eku who can really solve your problem. Getting my lover back is what i can't imagine but when I was losing Newton, I needed help and somewhere to turn badly but my Aunty told me about this spell caster who also helped her on the internet. I thought it won't work but i just tried to give this man a chance and i ordered a LOVE SPELL. Two days later, my phone rang. Newton was his old self again and wanted to come back to me! Not only come back, the spell caster opened him up to know how much I loved and needed him. This Spell Casting isn’t brainwashing, but he opened up his eyes to know how much we have to share together. I recommend anyone who is in my old situation to try him because he will help you and make things be the way it ought to be. If you have such problem or similar to this, please contact him on his email
drekuperfectspells@yahoo.com and just visit DREKUPERFECTSPELLS.blogspot.com and see so many people testifying about his perfect work. thank you Dr Eku and may your gods ever reward you for your good deeds.....................................................................................

Morgan fred Keri said...

My name is morgan keri.i want to give thanks to dr.trust for bringing back my ex husband.No one could have ever made me believe that the letter I’m about to write would actually one day be written. I was the world’s biggest skeptic. I never believed in magic spells or anything like this, but I was told by a reliable source (a very close co-worker) that Trust is a very dedicated, gifted, and talented person,It was one of the best things I have ever done. My love life was in shambles; I had been through two divorces and was on the brink of a third. I just couldn't face another divorce, and I wanted to try harder to make our relationship work, but my husband didn’t seem to care. and he brake up with me again.I was confuse and do not no what to do again,rather them to get in contact with dr.trust. He did a love spell that make my husband come back to me. we are now very much happy with our self. dr.trust make him to realize how much we love and need each other.This man is for REAL and for good.he can also help you to fix your broken relationship. I had my husband back! It was like a miracle! He suddenly wanted to go to marriage counseling, and we’re doing very, very well,in our love life.contact email(ultimatespellcast@gmail.com or ultimatespellcast@yahoo.com tel:+234186885231) ,.././

Natasha said...

Hi Friends,

Am here to share the unexpected miracle that happened to me today , My Lover is back today , he left me heart broken and had a new date i tried all the spells i could to get him back all they did was eat my money . until i was introduced to Dr Brave and he gave me guarantee of just 48 hours at first i didn't believe this but as soon as i completed the instruction yesterday TO my greatest surprise this morning i got a call from my love (Norman Duncan) pleading for me to forgive him to come back and show me good love like we have ever imagined . please help me thank Dr Brave let him take credits for his good works .

You can as well help me email this to friends and you also can contact him today at bravespellcaster@gmail.com and he will be very glad to help you solve your problems .

Email: bravespellcaster@gmail.com
Website http://enchantedscents.tripod.com/lovespell/
Number: +2348072370762

Thanks for reading.
Natasha Johnson.

Natasha said...

Hi Friends...

Am here to share the unexpected miracle that
happened to me today , My Lover is back today , he left me heart broken
and had a new date i tried all the spells i could to get him back all
they did was eat my money . until i was introduced to Dr Brave and he
gave me guarantee of just 48 hours at first i didn't believe this but as
soon as i completed the instruction yesterday TO my greatest surprise
this morning i got a call from my love (Norman Duncan) pleading for me
to forgive him to come back and show me good love like we have ever
imagined . please help me thank Dr Brave let him take credits for his
good works .

You can as well help me email this to friends and
you also can contact him today at bravespellcaster@gmail.com and he will
be very glad to help you solve your problems .

Email: bravespellcaster@gmail.com
Website http://enchantedscents.tripod.com/lovespell/
Number: +2348072370762

Thanks for reading.
Natasha Johnson...,

Melllisaa Ford said...

i had issues in my life until i met dr sugar. he changed my life.

brought ma ex back. now am married. when we had issues financially.

he did a very strong spell. am not stingy with good things. Email:

olumbatemple@gmail.com OR Call +2348109338488. contact him and live

your life like its golden.

clarke said...

Hello am Mrs Clarke, i want to share this testimony on how
this powerful spell caster help me brings back my ex back within 2 days, i
was having a terrible problem with my husband which leads us to a
relationship breakup. Until i contacted this spell caster through my nephew
friend who he once help, she help me and actually, we are now real lovers . So i will advice you to contact her now at princessolokuntemplee@GMAIL.COM, she will help you get him/her back to you immediately without stress.
if you are out there passing through any of this problems listed below:

1) If you want your ex back.
(2) if you always have bad dreams.
(3) You want to be promoted in your office.
(4) You want women/men to run after you.
(5) If you want a child.
(6) You want to tie your husband/wife to be yours forever.
(7) How you been scammed and you want to recover you lost money.
(8)if you want to stop your divorce.
(9if you want your wishes to be granted.
(10) Pregnancy spell to conceive baby
Goodluck princessolokuntemplee@gmail.com

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