Friday, June 27, 2014

Confidence Is . . .

Pin It
Confidence has always been a struggle for me.

The majority of my twenties was spent looking at pictures of my teenage self and melodramatically weeping over the fact that I never took pictures of my 18 year old boobs that I could longingly admire in my late twenties, recalling their perkiness. I had plenty of other pictures to feel sad over. Pictures of beautifully tan skin, an un-dimpled ass, long thick hair, and a waist that was miraculously smaller than my hips.

But I always forget that teenage Jia was filled with self pity and hatred. She picked at her skin in the mirror obsessively, weighed herself compulsively, and cried herself to sleep over the fact that her friends were all skinnier than she was. Aside from that, teenage Jia hid herself away behind others who stood out more.

Most of my friends that I've remained in touch with recall me as this wild, outgoing girl with brightly colored hair and a personality to match. A confidence that I borrowed from my friends who were wilder, more outgoing and more brightly colored than I was. I stood in their shadows because the warmth of their light came without the fear of standing out on my own.

I faked it trying to make it, but I still went home feeling sorry for myself.

"Confidence... We Got This" An amazing project by Brittany Herself that I am beyond proud to have participated in! 

Confidence can still be struggle some days, but now I have tools to work through it.

When I started being my authentic self online I discovered that I wasn't alone. I began taking risks. Wearing red lipstick and dressing to show instead of to hide. And then one day several years ago, I dyed my hair pink. Pink isn't something you can hide. Confidence or not, you walk out of the house with pink hair, you are forcing the world to draw their eyes to you. And I lucked out. Because my beautiful community here in New Mexico is filled with artists, bright individuals with souls that are yearning for equally bright hair - and many do! Pink became my confidence, and soon I was taking more and more challenges to face my fears of self doubt. Bare arms, short hair, and bikinis!

"I wish I could have your confidence." 

My sister said that to me a few weeks ago. We were headed to the pool and I was wearing the same tankini that I've had for way too many years. Cleavage spilling out of my top and my belly exposed, I strutted toward the pool beside my little sister who weighs almost 100 pounds less than me.

"Do I look like shit?" I asked her.

"What?! No, of course not!" She replied.

"Then why should I feel like shit?" Was my answer.

It's something that's taken me WAY too long to learn - and I still have to remind myself every single day. Sometimes I have her remind me. Sometimes it's my best friend, or my husband. Sometimes it's hundreds of like-minded women in the beautiful tribe of curvacious kindred spirits that I've found online.

I want to tell teenage Jia that she won't always have to force that smile when she looks in the mirror. One day she'll catch herself by surprise.


So much thanks to Brittany and the girls at Curvy Girl Guide who daily inspire me to love myself. Please check out "Confidence... We Got This" and show support for everyone who chooses to step out of their comfort zone for this incredible project!


Kim said...

I'm working on confidence this year. It's been a big one for me and it's also my word for 2014. It's a constant struggle as you said but I'm determined to feel good about myself again.

You rock, my friend. Kudos to you for kicking ass and staying confident.

Untypically Jia said...

You should totally join Curvy Girl Guide!

pai young said...

Blink of an eye the size cheap uggs sale of a hill  light group floating ugg bailey button sale uk in its head, and that group  light changes constantly reversed, it was not is uggs outlet uk of cheap ugg boots sale the order of a huge bloody demon head, above the head of a horned demon coldness stern, a bloody cheap ugg boots for men mouth among the two rows as dense cone-like teeth.

A blink of an eye will be cheap uggs sale turned into a full five meters in diameter huge fireball, on numerous stocks beating small salamanders, disintegration sparks dazzling eye-catching. Mudra hands constantly, that fireball stature began to reverse it, changing cheap ugg boots uk the shape. One moment a very domineering flame Juchui will float in front.

Order two lines in heavy fire magic hammer technique. To go. I heard Li He, above the flame Juchui cheap ugg boots for uggs outlet uk men salamanders Flurry hit to the head towards the demon blood. Bloodthirsty demon head. Out. cheap kids ugg boots See conditions demon blood on his cheap uggs uk face no color slightest fear of systemic blood toward the front remi.

Natasha Johnson said...

How to Save Your Relationship And Marriage from Divorce or broke up

An amazing testimony on a spell caster who brought my husband back to me.. My name is Natasha Johnson,i live in Florida,USA,and I'm happily married to a lovely and caring husband ,with two kids.A very big problem occurred in my family seven months ago,between me and my husband .so terrible that he took the case to court for a divorce.he said that he never wanted to stay with me again,and that he didn't love me anymore.So he packed out of the house and made me and my children passed through severe pain. I tried all my possible means to get him back,after much begging,but all to no avail.and he confirmed it that he has made his decision,and he never wanted to see me again. So on one evening,as i was coming back from work,i met an old friend of mine who asked of my husband .So i explained every thing to him,so he told me that the only way i can get my husband back,is to visit a spell caster,because it has really worked for him too.So i never believed in spell,but i had no other choice,than to follow his advice. Then he gave me the email address of the spell caster whom he visited.{}. So the next morning,i sent a mail to the address he gave to me,and the spell caster assured me that i will get my husband back the next day.What an amazing statement!! I never believed,so he spoke with me,and told me everything that i need to do. Then the next morning, So surprisingly, my husband who didn't call me for the past seven {7}months,gave me a call to inform me that he was coming back.So Amazing!! So that was how he came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and he apologized for his mistake,and for the pain he caused me and my children. Then from that day,our relationship was now stronger than how it were before,by the help of a spell caster. So, i will advice you out there to kindly visit the same website {},if you are in any condition like this,or you have any problem related to "bringing your ex back. So thanks to the Dr Brave for bringing back my husband ,and brought great joy to my family once again. {}, Thanks..,,..,

faith12 said...

Hello, my name is Miss faith, I'm from USA. I want to inform you all that there is a spell caster that is genuine and real. I never really believed in any of these things but when I was losing Garvin, I needed help and somewhere to turn badly. I found consultant.odia spells and i ordered a LOVE SPELL. Several days later, my phone rang. Garvin was his old self again and wanted to come back to me! Not only come back, the spell caster opened him up to how much I loved and needed him. Spell Casting isn't brainwashing, but they opened his eyes to how much we have to share together. I recommend anyone who is in my old situation to try it. It will bring you a wonderful surprises as well as your lover back to you. The way things were meant to be." you can contact the spell caster on he's very nice and great. ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...
Design by Creative Girl Media