Tuesday, April 22, 2014

30 (Days) Before 30 (Years)

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The countdown has officially begun. 


As of today, it is 30 days until I turn 30 years old.

I honestly don't know how I feel about it. My heart changes from moment to moment. I've always been the type of person that reads too much into things, or makes a big deal out of just about anything. I'm the type of person who says, "This is my song!" to every song that comes on the radio, because somehow I can always relate. So turning 30? It's a big deal to me. But I'm not afraid of turning 30. I'm not afraid of getting older. I find the tiniest hints of aging endearing. I excitedly look forward to grey hair (though you'd never be able to know if it's there beneath the pink), I love my little laugh lines, and the way the skin around my fingernails is beginning to pucker a little in the shape of thin wrinkles that make me smile because they remind me of my Grandmother's hands.

I am not afraid of the future.

But I am afraid of wasting time.

I wasted nine years of my marriage focused on infertility to the point where it destroyed so much of myself and I threatened to bring my marriage down with me. I wasted years worried about what other people would say in regards to how I dressed, acted, spoke, looked, and even prayed - that I lived in a shell of my former self. I wasted years of my life thinking that I was a worthless, lazy human when in fact I was living with a chronic illness that caused pain and severe fatigue. I wasted years of my life hiding my OCD because I was afraid of what people would think. I've wasted most of this year (and countless years before it) because of stress and depression. I've spent years forcing myself into roles, personalities, jobs and situations that made me uncomfortable just so I could please people who don't actually matter if they can't accept me for who I am, as God made me.

And I just wasted a whole paragraph complaining about the past. ;)

So no more wasting time.


My 30 Before 30 List is no where near complete, but I am celebrating the things I DID accomplish. The rest just get added onto a 35 Before 35 list and I get to use the next five years to celebrate my time, my life, all for the purpose of creating joy! And I am so looking forward to that.

In the meantime, I've still got 30 days to go, and I'm going to use those days. Use them to document my life (Instagram #Jias30Before30Countdown), I'm going to use them to experience new things, to remember who I was when I was in my 20's, and how I've grown into the person I am - a person I am proud to know. I'm going to use these last 30 days to be grateful for the good things in my life - and all the time I have NOT wasted.

5 comments:

Heidi said...

I look forward to stalking your 30 before 30 all over the net! I should have done this myself, but with 40 before 40 8)

Karen Peterson said...

I think it's great that you've learned so much about yourself and your personal situation and that you're able to go forward into your thirties with a better outlook on who you are and what you need.

Natasha Johnson said...

How to Get your lover back after a Divorce or Breakup without any delay..

An amazing testimony on a spell caster who brought my husband back to me.. My name is Natasha Johnson,i live in Florida,USA,and I'm happily married to a lovely and caring husband ,with two kids.A very big problem occurred in my family seven months ago,between me and my husband .so terrible that he took the case to court for a divorce.he said that he never wanted to stay with me again,and that he didn't love me anymore.So he packed out of the house and made me and my children passed through severe pain. I tried all my possible means to get him back,after much begging,but all to no avail.and he confirmed it that he has made his decision,and he never wanted to see me again. So on one evening,as i was coming back from work,i met an old friend of mine who asked of my husband .So i explained every thing to him,so he told me that the only way i can get my husband back,is to visit a spell caster,because it has really worked for him too.So i never believed in spell,but i had no other choice,than to follow his advice. Then he gave me the email address of the spell caster whom he visited.{bravespellcaster@gmail.com}. So the next morning,i sent a mail to the address he gave to me,and the spell caster assured me that i will get my husband back the next day.What an amazing statement!! I never believed,so he spoke with me,and told me everything that i need to do. Then the next morning, So surprisingly, my husband who didn't call me for the past seven {7}months,gave me a call to inform me that he was coming back.So Amazing!! So that was how he came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and he apologized for his mistake,and for the pain he caused me and my children. Then from that day,our relationship was now stronger than how it were before,by the help of a spell caster. So, i will advice you out there to kindly visit the same website { http://enchantedscents.tripod.com/lovespell/},if you are in any condition like this,or you have any problem related to "bringing your ex back. So thanks to the Dr Brave for bringing back my husband ,and brought great joy to my family once again. {bravespellcaster@gmail.com }, Thanks..

Lisa Buckley said...

!!! How I Get My Husband Back With The Help Of Dr.Ukaka !!!

“LOVE is the key to LIFE”. That was the word from Dr Ukaka when I consulted his powerful Love Temple. I married the wrong man; I realized that after four years of our unfruitful marriage. Everything was going from Best to Worst in our life, no child, I got demoted from work after our marriage, my husband was sacked a year after. His application for new job in various offices was constantly declined even though he was qualified enough. I was made to take care of my family with the low income I earn get that wasn’t enough to pay our rent. We keep praying a seeking for help from some people, my friends laugh at me behind because I was advised not to get married yet.It was one Thursday night that my husband woke me up and told me that has thought enough about our crisis, he said that our crisis is not ordinary and it’s beyond our spiritual level. He suggested we should consult Dr Ukaka from testimonies he showed me online about how he has been helping families. I was afraid, I don’t like evil or spell but I supported him to contact him if he can help us. We consulted him via freedomlovespell@hotmail.com and he replied positively after 20munites with congratulating email that he can help us but he will need our pure heart and trusts in his work if he will cast the spell on us and purify our life. We agreed to his terms. He cast the spell and told us to expect results within 5days. I waited for three days nothing happened, so I started having doubt and blaming my husband for emailing Dr Ukaka. It was on the fifth day that my husband was called for an interview and he got a well-paying work, I was prompted to a higher position. I missed my period on the 5th day and it was confirmed that I am with a baby. Things have really changed for us for good and we now have our own house and cars. I will never forget what Dr Ukaka told us “LOVE is the key to LIFE”, this word keep me going. People that laughed at us are coming close for help and I am delighted to welcome them because my family is now blessed. Dr Ukaka is a savior and man that keep to his word even when I doubted his powers at the end of the spell. Thank you great Dr Ukaka and your Oracle for helping us via freedomlovespell@hotmail.com and I will keep spreading this message to people in need of help. also contact him for help.website address: freedomlovespelltemple.yolasite.com ;),

Get Your Ex back said...

How I Get My Wife Back With The Help Of Dr Brave

Hello everyone,My name is Daniel Dicks , a citizen of Germany, am 52 years of age..and I`m happily married to a lovely and caring wife,with two kids A very big problem occurred in my family seven months ago,between me and my wife so terrible that she took the case to court for a divorce she said that she never wanted to stay with me again,and that she did not love me anymore So she packed out of my house and made me and my children passed through severe pain. I tried all my possible means to get her back,after much begging,but all to no avail and she confirmed it that she has made her decision,and she never wanted to see me again. So on one evening,as i was coming back from work,i met an old friend of mine who asked of my wife So i explained every thing to her,so she told me that the only way i can get my wife back,is to visit a spell caster,because it has really worked for her too So i never believed in spell,but i had no other choice,than to follow her advice. Then she gave me the email address of the spell caster whom she visited.(bravespellcaster@gmail.com}, So the next morning,i sent a mail to the address she gave to me,and the spell caster assured me that i will get my wife back the next day what an amazing statement!! I never believed,so he spoke with me,and told me everything that i need to do. Then the next morning, So surprisingly, my wife who did not call me for the past seven {7}months,gave me a call to inform me that she was coming back So Amazing!! So that was how she came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and she apologized for her mistake,and for the pain she caused me and my children. Then from that day,our relationship was now stronger than how it were before,by the help of a spell caster . So, was now stronger than how it were before,by the help of a spell caster . So, i will advice you out there to kindly visit the same Website: http://enchantedscents.tripod.com/lovespell/,if you are in any condition like this,or you have any problem related to “bringing your ex back. So thanks to Dr Brave for bringing back my wife,and brought great joy to my family once again.{ bravespellcaster@gmail.com } and you can also reach Dr Brave through his mobile number +2348072370762 Thanks for reading.,,,,

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