I needed an anthem.
Something that resonated so well within me that I could lean on it for strength and courage when faced with the onslaught of societies expectations and ignorance. I am not a confrontational person, and even when I have strong beliefs and convictions, I buckle under pressure as a means to just keep the peace. But I've been doing that my whole life. Not just keeping the peace, but keeping quiet about my fat is no one's business but my own. About how my body is mine and I should love it, not want to constantly change it. About how my health issues have nothing to do with my weight, and I'd rather focus on an overall health than be skinny and still have mental illness and fibromyalgia.
I needed to know there was someone else out there like me. But stronger.
I needed a fat girl blogger version of P!nk. Someone whose words repeated in my head under times of stress and self loathing. Words that told me I was perfectly imperfect and I was one of many in an army of girls who refused to be pushed back.
And I found her in The Militant Baker.
A foul mouthed, tattooing, hair dying, feminist power house who thinks everyone is beautiful.
A long, lost twin sister from an alternate universe.
I found Jes thanks to a good Samaritan I follow on Pinterest who happened to pin her amazing blog post, Things No One Will Tell Fat Girls . . . So I Will. And I hope she doesn't mind me quoting her (cause y'all need to go and read the whole article), but I made it to the end of the post, nodding my head the whole way when I landed on the last paragraph:
You are fucking beautiful. I'm saying this with a straight face and seriously meaningful look where I maintain eye contact for an uncomfortable amount of time. I know you don't feel like you fit into the category of gorgeous that our world creates. I know that its hard. I know that its a daily battle. But fuck their fascist beauty standards. The second you stop looking for a skinny model in your mirror and start looking at YOU... is the second you will start to appreciate what you are. Stop looking for flaws. Stop looking for differences. You are perfect. You are more than enough. You are the best thing that has ever happened to you. And you are fucking beautiful.Anyone else here those words playing to music? Cause I sure as hell did.
Like with most bloggers I develop sudden love for, I devoured her archive in a full day. Not only does Jes blog about body acceptance and self love, but she actively proves that fat girls can do anything! She feeds off the haters. And much like my own issues with having to wear so many different shoes, Jes herself has been put into many boxes. But just as I decided to go barefoot, Jes has redefined her boxes and made them her own.
Reading The Militant Baker was like looking at pieces of my life being lived by someone who was not afraid of confrontation. It's inspiring. It's motivating.
And I hope one day soon to be my own, pink version, of her.