Monday, February 4, 2013

The Tale of the Wild Metal Flatbed at Walmart

Pin It
The other day while grocery shopping at Walmart, my PMS induced lack of concentration and spacial understanding caused me to walk right into one of those metal flatbeds that the employees stack boxes on while their unloading them onto the shelves. Scraped up my leg and started bleeding, left a huge bump and the sucker still hurts days later.

As usual, Matt was quick to remind me that my lack of grace is hilarious.

Me: Can you turn the heater down? It's burning my open wound.

Matt: *laughs* You're open wound? You scraped your leg on a metal flatbed at Walmart.

Me: I'm bleeding. Therefore it's a wound, and it's open. And the car heater is cauterizing it.

Matt: *Begins talking in a pirate voice* Oh aye? There I was, in the waste land of Walmart, where out of no where, I was attacked by a wild, savage flatbed. But the beast was metal! And it tore at my leg, leaving a massive bleeding, open wound!

Me: You're making fun of me? *glares*

Then he decided to bring up the time when I was eleven and I literally walked into the back of a staircase and knocked myself unconscious.

Matt: *Still in a pirate voice* Oh, it reminded me of the time I faced off against the beastly staircase that smashed into my face. Even though I knew it was there, I just kept walking.

Me: I didn't know it was right there. I knew it was in the general vicinity.

Matt: *Pirate voice continues* It lingered in the area, and I searched it out to attack! With my face.

Me: That's actually pretty funny. You should retell the story about how when I was seven I ran into a crowd of sixth graders at recess with my eyes closed and ended up face planted into the asphalt.

Matt: *Normal voice* Well, now I can't. You've ruined my jeering. 

No comments:

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...
Design by Creative Girl Media