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| thoughtful contemplation |
This year it's come shortly after my High School Reunion where I caught up with friends who are now mothers, writers, firemen, politicians, etc. and while I don't look at my life and think things like, "Wow, what a waste," I do look at my life and think things like, "Okay, what's next?"
When I was younger I thought by now I'd have a small brood of kids in tow and frankly that plans out the majority of your life for you. It's what I wanted out of life - everything else could line up behind having a family. However, things didn't work out as planned, and while I still plan on having a family, it's become clear that I can't just sit around and let life pass me by while I wait for a positive pregnancy test.
The problem is that I don't know what I want out of life. I don't know where my passion leads me. It's like trying to find a niche for my blog to fit into. It just doesn't come to me.
So I went to trusty Google and found a test on Oprah.com about finding my passion. And even that isn't helping me very much. Maybe because it's hard to look at my life from the inside out, I need perspective. I need you to chime in on some of these questions.
1. When I was a kid, I dreamed of:
- Having a family (being a wife and mother)
- Being an actress
- Being a singer
- Being a veterinarian
- Self Help (book)
- Southern Life (movie)
- Blogging
- Watching TV with my Husband
- Ancient Roman History and Greek Mythology
- Writing fictional stories about the above.
- Marriage
- Humor
- Food
- Photography
- At Comic Con
- Finishing a new Makeup Look
- Writing.
- ????
So you see my problem? I'm missing certain important answers. I need help. When you look at me (or think of me fondly - preferably not naked) how would you answer these questions on my behalf, especially the ones I couldn't answer for myself?
Once I actually get answers, I'll continue with this whole finding myself exercise (see what I did there? You have to participate in order for me to finish this blog series.)
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Update: Thank you all for your thoughts and comments (both here, Twitter, Facebook and the very lengthy emails). I have an idea of what direction I want to move in and I am feeling great about it!
7 comments:
I heard this the other day that finding our passion is never a love at first site, it is often a reunion.
Great post. No time to comment on all those but will have to come back. I love it!
Both actually. Both which involve schooling, which I cannot pay for. :(
See I think it's the passion I don't know about. I don't know what I absolutely love enough to go for the opportunities (or even look for the opportunities). As far as blogging ever took me, well, I'm here. Then there's the writing, the makeup, the cooking, photography, etc . . . but somehow the opportunities usually involve experience, which is predicated by education, which costs money. And I've already spent my life's allotment of school loans toward something I was passionate about at the time, which died by the time graduation rolled around. I often get excited about things and jump the gun and end up financially in the hole because of it.
Hence the trying to find what really drives me.
I'm frightful that this comment will be the longest one ever, mostly
because my husband has constantly been in the same boat and I'm his
personal motivational speaker. So I'm just going to tell you some of
the things I tell him, knowing that you're probably in similar
situations.
Many of the personality tests, and other stuff out there we take to try
and determine what we "should" be in life, focus on one or two traits
that we CURRENTLY possess. You can also easily sway the tests in any
way you choose subconsciously. So these aren't really accurate
indicators of what you should be in life, because you can always learn
to love something new, no matter what it is.
What you SHOULD focus on is a) what you WANT to do and b) how you can make it work for you.
Never in a million years did I think I would be a web designer. Sure, I
was creative and crafty or whatever, but if you asked me what I really
wanted to be while in college I would have shrugged my shoulders. (I
was a general studies major for 2 years and switched majors like five
times!) I could have probably been happy in any job - ad exec, actress,
doctor, news anchor...and believe me, I tried to be ALL of them at some
point.
So what made me "switch" to this random career that I had NEVER thought
about before, and why does it work so well? It's not like I majored in
graphic design and web design...I never even thought about it. But I'm
pretty good at it, and can use many talents all in this one field.
It was all about PURSUING an OPPORTUNITY.
You can be good at a million things, love to do a million things, and be happy in a million jobs. But if you focus on ONE thing, and take the opportunities as they come to you (as well as finding opportunities) then you can be successful and happy.
For example, you mentioned above that if you made a gift, it would probably involve food. That wasn't the MAIN thing you focused on...blogging and writing seem to be what you're focusing on now. But when I first started blogging and designing my own blogs... my focus wasn't on starting my own web design business either. That just sort of happened because I took an opportunity to design blogs for other people, and pursued it. So if you start doing something you like outside the normal realm of what you're comfortable with, like - say - making amazing food for church events, friends, and the like...who knows - someone may LOVE your food and ask you to feed their party. From there, someone at the party may be impressed and ask to do their wedding. Before you know it, you have your own catering business.
So my point is, finding what you LOVE to do isn't the biggest obstacle. The biggest obstacle is going to be seriously pursuing the opportunities that come your way, and working your ASS off to make it happen. You can't get discouraged if you've hosted 10 parties and nothing has come of them. You have to evaluate yourself to decide if it's YOU, or the opportunities that make the difference. If people hate your food they hate your food, and you move on to something different. If your food is awesome but there's ZERO market for a caterer, find a place that HAS the market. (This is just a specific example of a generalized theory.)
You can't give up, you can't be lazy, and you can't NOT work your ass off if you really want to pursue something you love. The only time you fail is when you stop trying.
AAAnnnd told you that would be long. :D
oh Jia! this is a problem a lot of us have! did you ever think of looking into doing something with animals (focusing on the dreaming of being a vet), or a cosmetician?
If makeup is the drive towards cosmetology, I can tell you now that they only do about 1 week out of the classes on makeup. There really isn't a make-up school persay(sp). So it isn't something you would need to put school money into, if that helps at all.
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