For those just tuning in, for the last two years I have been writing letters to myself that automatically post on my blog each month throughout the year. It's my way of keeping up with progress and showing myself the difference an entire year can really make. Instead of obsessing on the little things, I'm looking at the big picture.
So earlier this month the letter I'd written myself from June 2011 posted.
And here is the difference that one year can make.
June 2010 Letter - Motivated! You took tons of pictures of yourself and really started feeling good again despite it being June. This was one of the good years.Change is beautiful. While I'm certainly not the most chipper person on my best of days, I can see things a little more clearly now, especially knowing now that I am dealing with chronic illness and not just typical depression. I didn't understand last year how I was fine one month and then BOOM, out of nowhere I was down for about three months, unable to function due to depression and fatigue. Now I know better. I know that what I was going through was a flare up, and they just happen. It's not my fault. And that's a good thing to know.
June 2011 Update - This was a bad year. Unfortunately it was the beginning of a few bad months as well where you didn't do a Love, Yourself Update.
June is always the hardest month to get through. Sometimes you do it really well and other times, not so well. And that's okay. Because you've given yourself permission to feel the pain that comes with grief.June is a hard month . . . But I'm dealing with it. I've had a rough week. Between a minor flare up, the typical "My Mom's Dead" mind frame that comes this time of year, and stress about traveling for the next two weeks has me all in a grumpy state. But that's all it is: a state. A state of mind that can change as easily as shoes.
Your Weight . . .
June 2010 - 253 PoundsJune 2011 - 239 Pounds
June 2012 - Still retaining some water. Just happens during a flare up. However, I am fine right where I am. A decent 240. I know that's not really decent considering I'm still unhealthily overweight, but I can deal with it. I feel good about myself and my body, and that's the most important thing right now.
Wow. If you guys only knew the different in my happiness between these two pictures, it would blow your frickin' mind.