Untypically in Love: Jackpot

Read the full story, chapter by chapter here.

Some names and events have been changed to protect the identity of certain individuals.

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Chapter Forty-Two
Jackpot

I'd arrived in Utah on New Years Day, ready to begin my new life; my clean slate. Yet there I stood at the Salt Lake Airport, ready to step onto a plane that would take me back to New Mexico. It was April now and though Utah still had a chilly bite in the air, I knew that New Mexico would be full of the perfect warmth. Not to mention the weather would be nice as the well known "April showers bring May flowers"didn't often apply to the southwest.

"I'll see you in a week," I hugged Debbie. "Don't have too much fun without me."

"You just be safe, and have fun," my aunt smiled back at me before kicking me to the curb, luggage and all.

I nervously looked up at the airport recalling the last time I'd been on a plane which was years ago. I wasn't afraid to fly. The anxiety was related to my purpose for going back to New Mexico. One that I'd figured out a month earlier. That little thing missing in my life.

"Hey, my flight leaves in a half hour. They're going to start boarding soon." I said into my cell phone, a small reminder to my ride to make sure to be on time. "You gonna ditch me at the airport?" I smirked sarcastically. "Yeah I know . . ." I exhaled. "I can't wait to see you too."

"We are now boarding Flight 245 to Albuquerque, New Mexico. . . ."

"Gotta go," I said quickly. "See you soon." 

Josh and I had stayed in communication most of the time while I was in Utah. We'd email at least once or twice a week, depending on where Josh could log in as he didn't seem to have a computer at home. My internet access all depended on my aunt Debbie's dial up AOL, which at the time seemed so very fast and amazing.

The emails I got from Josh only made me miss home that much more. I missed my family and my friends, even though I resolved that Utah was now my home. I just managed to forget to pack a few things on the way here: my heart for one.

I'd told Josh a few days ago that I was planning on coming back to New Mexico for a short trip. I mentioned how I missed everyone and Josh seemed excited to see me. He said that we'd have to get together and do something, a whole bunch of us. Bowling perhaps. He and Matt had apparently signed up together for a local competition and took home some fancy bowling balls as trophies of their victory.

It would be nice to see them all again.

The flight was relatively short, and before I reached the pick up or bag claim area, I rushed into the bathroom to double check my hair which was now about six inches shorter than it had been when I'd left. "Get it together," I said to myself nervously in the mirror, adjusting the black baby doll t-shirt I'd chosen especially for this occasion. My hands were practically shaking as I reapplied my lip gloss. Taking in one last deep breath I left the bathroom and did my best to strut toward the pick up area of the airport.

My own "pump me up" song played silently in my head and I moved each step in time with the beat. I stood tall, faked confidence despite my complete and utter fear of rejection. But what was there to reject? I'd already put myself out there a month ago when I called to make things right again.

That phone call was painful.

 "I know you might not want to hear this, but I'm sorry . . . and there are a few things you need to know about me." And then I confessed everything. Every dirty secret I'd held within over the last year. The whole mess with Joseph and Riley, and everything that came with it. All my mistakes.

"I'm not your Bishop," he replied. "But if you need my forgiveness, you have it."


"I need more than that." The tears begun forming. "I need you."

"That last kiss . . . " He sighed. "I was okay before that. I'd decided I was done and I was okay with you leaving. But that last kiss . . . "

"I know." I agreed.

We hadn't told many people. Didn't want to jinx it. I'd spent almost five years jumping between Josh and Matt and hurting them both and I knew this needed to be taken seriously. We weren't kids anymore. We had jobs and bills and a future to think about. So our secret was kept just for us.

As I moved through the airport toward the escalator, I saw my first glimpse of him in months and my heart nearly skipped a beat. I froze in my tracks, letting him come to me despite the urge to throw myself down the escalator into his arms. The closer he moved, the better it felt. That missing piece of me that had plagued me in Utah was standing right in front of me now, and when he smiled I suddenly felt complete and whole again.

"You . . . look . .. " He eyed me up and down with appreciation.

"Face it Tiger," I grinned. "You just hit the jackpot."

And then he kissed me.

Kissed me like the last kiss had never existed, or any kisses before. His hand slid around my waist and pulled me closer against him and I could feel the butterflies in my stomach immediately take flight. I prayed the kiss would never end, but also hoped that it would before I caught myself lifting my back foot in a very fairy princess style.

Eventually it did end and I exhaled quickly, most of it in relief.

"I love you," he said as he looked into my eyes, brushing his hand against my cheek.

"I love you too, Matt."

"So did you really agree to this bowling thing tonight?" Matt asked me as we drove down the road, getting further and further away from the airport. "Josh said it might be a good idea."

"Yeah, it'll be fun. Just get everyone together. My sister, your brother and his new wife, Josh and whoever else wants to come." I smiled. "I only have a week and while I'd like to spend most of it with you, I want to see everyone else while I'm here."

We pulled into the driveway of my old home and before I could step one foot in the door, Kristine came out and wrapped me in a big hug. "You're home!"

"Well . . . not home, but yeah, I'm here." I looked up at the old house and sighed. No, she was right. This was home still.

"Here, let's get your luggage in the house," Kristine reached for a bag.

"I got it," Matt smiled and lifted both of my suitcases, carrying them inside.


"So you're back together?" Kristine asked with a raised brow.

"What?" I blinked.

"Oh please," she rolled her eyes. "It's obvious."

"Well it's also kind of a secret. We don't want anyone else to factor into this right now. We want to focus on us. You know how family and friends can get. They'll start bringing up the long distance thing, not to mention the fact that he's going on a mission soon." I sighed.

"No worries, my lips are sealed." Kristine smiled and hugged me again.

"I thought that was you," Josh's voice called me from behind and I turned and smiled brightly, reaching up to hug him. "You look good, Jess."

"You too." I smiled.

"Everything's inside," Matt said as he came back out to the rest of us.

"Let me go say hi to my aunt and then I'll be ready to go," I grinned, rushing inside. I only had a short time left here and I didn't want to spend one second of it going 'Umm . . . so what do you wanna do?' I knew what I wanted to do, who I wanted to see and where I wanted to go.

I did not however want to wear bowling shoes.


"These make me feet look big." I mumbled looked down at my hot pink and green and yellow bowling shoes.

Josh sat down next to me and laughed. "You're feet look fine. Dainty even."

"Smart ass." I narrowed my eyes at him.

"So tell me all about Utah. I only get to see bits and pieces of it in your emails." He leaned down to tie his own black, brown, and neon green shoes.

"What you see is what you get." I shrugged. "I work all day at the hospital, come home in time to check a few emails before crashing, and then I do it all again the next day."

"So no social life?" He smirked.

"Not much. I have friends from the singles ward, and we occasionally hang out and do things." 


"Singles ward huh?" Josh smiled. "So you're not dating anyone up there?"

I blinked as a wave of panic flew through me. I paused and thought over the question before answering. "No, I'm definitely not dating anyone up there." I gave a sigh of relief as Matt returned to the group after paying for most of us, immediately taking the seat to my right.

After my turn, I went back to my seat between Josh and Matt. A smile crept across my face as I felt Matt's arm move around my shoulders. We had agreed to keep our relationship mostly private, but apparently he was willing to break the rules a little. I looked over and smiled at him and watched as he reached out and took my right hand into his left.

Wait . . .

I blinked a few times before turning to my left and seeing that the arm around my shoulders was not Matt, but Josh! When Josh caught me staring, he smiled and squeezed one of my shoulders with his hand.

Uh oh.