I've got a 22 pounds big boy ready to go for today. 22 pounds for myself, my husband and my little sister. The in-laws drove up to Colorado to spend the holiday with Matt's brother and the grandkids, and even though we love our family and would have loved to have spent the holiday with them . . . Thanksgiving is mine.
Since I learned how to cook a bird it's been my holiday. Everyone else can keep their Christmases, Easters and Halloweens, but Thanksgiving . . . is mine.
I get very predatory about cooking when it comes to Thanksgiving. Just thinking up ways I can torture this poor bird. I'm an animal lover for sure, but I have very little sympathy for anything that's already residing in my freezer (except for the squirrel that my FIL caught on a recent hunting trip that I've yet been able to get the guts to grill.)
So I'm cooking Thanksgiving for my small family this year, but it's still mine. I'm doing up my usual bacon butter and herb stuffed turkey (in that amazing brine I used last year), colcannon, green bean casserole, homemade cranberry sauce, homemade sausage stuffing and I'm pretty sure there's at least one other thing that I'm forgetting at the moment. The only difference between this year and the last couple is that I didn't do my hot orchard apple spice pies. I went and just bought a pumpkin one from the store. Because I have enough to cook already, and I've been craving some store bought pumpkin pie.
I've had requests in the past for my recipe for my turkey, so I thought I'd try something a little different (because I've already prepped everything in the kitchen, and I'm bored now):
Jia's Bacon Herb Butter
Stuffed Turkey
"Hello! I'm Thomas the Turkey!"
1. Buy yourself a big ol' turkey, preferably one from the store unless you like killing them yourself. I usually go Butterball myself, and almost always around the 20 pound mark.
Thomas: Wait . . . what do you mean by kill?
2. Take your turkey out of the freezer about 2-3 days before the big day. You'll need around 12-18 hours for brining, so figure that into the defrost schedule. Put the turkey in a big container in your fridge to thaw, and ignore it for several days.
Thomas: *gasp* It's . . . so . . . c-c-cold in there. Thank you f-f-for rescuing me from this giant ice box. Oh, it's much warmer in here. Hey . . . where are you going? Don't close the doo-!
3. A few days later when the turkey is nice and defrosted, take it out of the fridge and give it a nice water bath.
Thomas: You left me in there for three days! Three days! Do you know how
depressing it is to listen to your leftovers talk?! Hey . . . oh well,
if you insist on giving me a bath and a massage.
4. Make sure to pull the bag out from the inside.
Thomas: *cough* Umm . . that's not mine. I'm . . . holding it for a friend.
5. Rinse and set aside while you make your brine (recipe in link above. I use Pioneer Woman's brine but I make a few adjustments to the amount of salt, plus I add mustard seeds and I cut the apple juice out completely.)
Thomas: Whatcha maaaaking? Smells good.
6. Take a big bucket (Matt bought one off of a sandwich shop a while back. They get them when they buy pickles in bulk and we bought ours off of them for like two bucks. Doesn't hurt to ask.) Clean the bucket, then add a large (unscented) trash bag. Put the turkey in the bag and pour the cooled brine over the top. Tie the bag, put the top on the bucket.
Thomas: *screams loudly* Nooooo! I can't swim!!! *gurgle gurgle*
7. Place bucket outside (or in your garage if it's cool enough). It needs to be kept cold, but not freezing. If it's not cold enough in your area, put ice in the brine (or around the bag inside the bucket). You can also just do up the brine in your fridge if you have enough room. Leave for 12-18 hours, or overnight.
Thomas: Please! Let me out! I'm ready to talk! I'll tell you whatever you want to know!
8. You'll make your bacon and herb butter the same day as the brine (or days ahead, doesn't matter as long as it has time to harden before the big day). Take a package of bacon and chop it into small pieces, then place into a kitchen aid mixer and three sticks of (cold) butter roughly chopped. Allow it to mix for about fifteen minutes. Scrape down the sides every so often, and by the time the fifteen minutes are up the bacon should be pulverized and mixed into the butter completely. Add in your choice of herbs. I use a little bit of rosemary, sage, savory, parsley and of course garlic. Mix together. Then scoop out the butter onto a large roll of plastic wrap and form into a log. Wrap tightly and stick in the fridge to harden.
9. Take the turkey out of the brine, rinse and lightly pat dry.
Thomas: You're a monster! Just cook me and be done with it!
10. Slice the bacon butter into small circles and slide under the skin of the turkey . . . all over. You'll have a little butter left over at the end (good for sauteing veggies for your stuffing or just anything else). I even cut slits in the legs, wings and thighs and put a good chunk of the butter underneath.
Thomas: It's like the Saw movies for Turkeys! OMG why are you doing this! Wait . . . do I smell bacon? Is . . . is that . . . Piggy? Is that you? Oh I'm gonna be sick. What did you do to my friend!?
11. Preheat oven to 325, and stick the turkey in a roasting pan. Cook for 4 1/2 hours, checking after about 2 1/2 hours to see how it looks. For the last hour or so, cover with tin foil so the skin doesn't burn.
Thomas: . . . .
(Don't worry, he's totally dead at this point. I mean you froze him, drowned him and stuffed him with the remnants of other farm animals before sticking him in a foil covered inferno.)
12. Remove turkey, cover with foil again and then allow to set for about a half hour to an hour before cutting up. Use juices for making gravy (but be sure to taste as you go because between the bacon, the butter and the brine it'll already be super salty.)
