Birthday Memories

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My first memory, the clearest vision at least, is the morning of my 4th birthday. I remember waking up and the sun was just streaming in through the blinds and I thought to myself, "I'm four. I'm a big girl now."

Sometime during that same say I recall saying, "When I turn 27, it's going to be amazing!"

I'm not entirely sure what exactly I thought 27 held for me, but I knew for a fact, with all my little tiny four year old heart, that turning 27 was going to be the best thing ever.

Birthdays came and went after that 4th party, some of which I can still recall with great detail. Like how at my 5th birthday party I was finally able to invite boys and how I spent most of the time hiding under the stairs, too afraid to talk to any of them.

Or how at my 7th birthday we all went to Jungle Jims and I invited the boy that I had been crushing on for two years. To show him I wasn't a sissy, I went with him on the spinning cup ride and then the very moment that we dropped him off at his house, I vomited all over the lap of my seventeen year old sister's boyfriend.

When I turned 10 I was grounded, and rightly so. I was a snobbish little pre-tween who refused to keep her room clean. I think I also said something smart assed to my aunt to earn the debirthdayification. Lucky for me, my older sister snuck me out of the house and I went to my very first Japanese grill where the chef told me that the onion volcano was just like a birthday candle and if I blew it out, my wish would be granted. I wished for true love.

On my fifteenth birthday, I got my wish.

And while birthdays seem to have faded a little in the celebratory sense, I've still had the number 27 looming over my head. And it's not looming anymore. It's here. In less than 24 hours to be exact. The birthday cards have begun their decent into my mail box, and Matt has begun his yearly, "No seriously, what do you want me to get you?"

I don't really know what tomorrow will hold for my birthday. Some people think that it's the end of the world. Seriously. My birthday. Well that's a sure slap in the face if I ever heard one. I would think that if anything, my death would bring about the end of the world . . . I suddenly really hope I don't die tomorrow. I think I'm gonna stay in now.


Other awesome things associated with my birthday:

• Zombie Awareness Month
• National Salsa Month
• National Dog Bite Prevention Week
• National Wait Staff Day

Other people who share my birthday:

• Plato (427 BC)
• Mr. T (1952)
• Notorious BIG (1972)
• Fairuza Balk (1974)

On my birthday, stuff happened:

• Amelia Earhart became the first woman to fly solo across the Atlantic Ocean (from Newfoundland to Ireland).
• The first hydrogen bomb to be dropped by air exploded over the Bikini Atoll in the Pacific.
• Rajiv Gandhi, former Indian prime minister, was assassinated by a suicide bomber.
• Charles Lindbergh became the first person to fly across the Atlantic (from New York to Paris) in his monoplane, The Spirit of St. Louis. 
• Spanish explorer Hernando De Soto died while searching for gold on the banks of the Mississippi River.

So essentially if you're planning to do anything tomorrow, May 21st, a good trend would be to either fly a plane, make a bomb, die or if you're anything like my mother - give birth to an awesome little redhead a month early in the hallway of a hospital. She'll grow up to say things like "whoreface", and "cocksnatch".

And when she turns 27, it's going to be amazing.