"My love is fierce."

A little over a year ago, a friend of mine posted a link to a video on Facebook. This video - which was quickly becoming viral on YouTube - helped to change my life, the way I saw the world, the way I saw love, and certainly the way I blogged.

This video was of Eva Markvoort, a 25 year old blogger, a fiery redhead who was living with (and dying from) cystic fibrosis. After receiving a double lung transplant two years earlier, Eva could breathe like never before and do things she always wanted to do. Until she was diagnosed with transplant rejection. In that short video that changed everything for me, Eva declared to her readers (and loving friends) that she was going to die.

In the months that followed, I read Eva's blog daily. I also read the archive (every single post) which is something I rarely do. I got to know Eva through her beautiful - and sometimes painful (but always honest) - words. And Eva grew in my heart, and became my friend as so very many bloggers who open themselves up like that do. Every morning I would wake, read Eva's blog, sigh with relief and turn to my husband to say, "Eva's still alive." I, like so many, tried to keep hope alive. Prayed that Eva would get the second double lung transplant she would need to survive.

As the weeks wore on, and Eva's posts became more painful to read, my prayers changed.
I just wanted her to stop hurting.
I wanted my friend to find peace.

Eva passed away a year ago this very day. And like many of her readers, I was able to watch videos of a broadcast that took place during a celebration for Eva - a memorial of her amazing, astounding love.

Last year I made a declaration that I would live this year (not just exist through it), if not for myself, than for Eva, my beautiful blogging friend who never made it to twenty-six. And despite various bumps in the road, I have. I've lived. I've conquered so much.

I think of Eva often. Every time I dye my hair my favourite shade of paint the town red. Every time I sign onto the internet, because Eva's blog is still in my bookmarks. And I thought about Eva last week a lot, when I was dealing with bronchitis and a lung infection. Because everything I felt wasn't even a third of what Eva herself experiencesd. And though painful, each breath I took was a miracle to me. And continues to be so.

So today I celebrate the life of Eva, who helped to inspire me to be myself, to be open and honest and always... to love, love, love.


A Message from Eva from Justin Cousineau on Vimeo.