The Trouble With Maxim

Me: I'm going to bed

Matt: Okay

Me: Come with?

Matt: No

Me: But... Love?

Matt: I love you too, but no.

Me: But I made you dinner

Matt: I know

Me: And brought you yogurt

Matt: I know

Me: And I converted shows for you.

Matt: I know

Me: And I got you that show with Olivia Munn

Matt: Do you even like that show?

Me: No

Matt: Then why'd you get it?

Me: Cause you like her

Matt: Eh.

Me: And you think she's pretty

Matt: Not prettier than you

Me: But she was in Maxim


Matt: So were you. The Maxim in my head. I keep it there all the time.

Me: Kinda like the issue of Maxim you bought of Kristen Bell.

Matt: Yes.

Me: The one that got you all hot and bothered?

Matt: No it didn't.

Me: Is that because she has a wonky eye?

Matt: ... Yes.


I know it seems totally inappropriate for my husband to even own an issue of Maxim (or so his brother has told him), but for one, he's never brought pornography into our house. Seriously. No Penthouse. No Playboy. This red head is enough for him. And two, that Maxim we totally bought together. Cause Kristen Bell was Veronica Mars. And we got it to read the articles.

Seriously.

But in the article she mentioned she had a wonky eye and we've never been able to look at her the same since. Kind of like how Melissa Joan Hart has a wonky eye, only this wonky eye still has a career.