I can’t seem to stay the hell away from Facebook. I mean, I want to. I REALLY want to. But I just can’t seem to do it. Originally I joined Facebook to keep in touch with all of my out-of-state siblings. My first status stayed up for a long time because I couldn’t figure out how to change it. But then it seemed like Facebook EXPLODED.
I don’t know what happened but all of a sudden I was getting a bajillion friend requests a day (ok, it was like 2) and I was now privy to what people who I hadn’t seen in 15 years were eating for breakfast. Facebook has that unique ability to make you over-the-top happy and want to punch someone in the face all in the span of about three seconds. But I still check it religiously. I have alerts sent to my phone in the form of text messages, though I’ve finally smartened up enough to not have EVERYONE’S status updates come to my phone. That was just madness. Just today I’ve read about the announcement of a new baby joining the family of one of my friends (that’s the over-the-top happy part) and then saw this little gem:
“watching king of the hill.and im pretty bored plus i have to urinate hahaha i thought you guys would like to know that.”
That’s the punch someone in the face part.
But here’s my problem. The above status that makes me want to do bodily harm to someone is from a member of my family. And I’ll be the first to admit I have immense Facebook guilt. I can’t NOT wish someone a happy birthday if Facebook tells me it’s their birthday –even if we haven’t spoken in 20 years. I worry in some way that they’ll feel slighted if I don’t and God knows we don’t want that happening. And these are people I HAVE NEVER WISHED HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO BEFORE. Ever. I’m kind of ashamed to admit I wished a restaurant “happy birthday” today.
Also, while I do turn off some people’s statuses from appearing in my feed, I have a really hard time deleting people. I say it’s for “networking “ purposes (my husband and I run a internet retail store) but really it’s just because I don’t have the hear t to, even if the person’s not my favorite.
And as in the above case, I feel like I should say something about how ignorant the person is sounds but again. It’s a family member. And seriously, don’t get me started on those stupid games. The only ones I really played were Restaurant City and Baking Life (can you tell why I’m fat and need to lose 100 pounds?). But once you get to level eleventy-thousand, there’s not much more you can do. So I quit those. But how about those people who ask you for crap for their games IN THEIR STATUS UPDATE? “Can someone in Farmville send me some nails?” “Hey Farmville friends, I need help raising my barn!” I want to reply with: I hate you. But we all know I won’t, because that might hurt their feelings.
Plus I don’t really hate them. There are some things that are meant for Twitter. I don’t really understand Twitter or how to retweet or tag someone or really what it’s used for and why you can’t just use Facebook. But the gist of what I get is that Twitter is supposed to be is short, concise updates. Such as “Colleen is making a rum and coke.” And later, “Colleen is shit-faced.”
I really do like the networking side of things. It makes it really easy to reach customers and let them know information in a speedy manner. It’s INCREDIBLE for reuniting people (I reunited with my college roommate after not being in touch for 13 years. And now our kids are pen-pals and we’ve already visited each other once), and it’s really cool for keeping in touch quickly with others (which was my original intended purpose for it).
Through Facebook, I’ve gotten to watch my nephew who lives a half a country away grow from a baby to a Kindergartener. I send him messages through his mom’s Facebook account because I’m horrible at calling people. Facebook is so much easier for me. But truthfully. Honestly. I don’t give a crap about if you have to pee, or if your nose is stuffed up, or if you haven’t pooped today or if your mother is a crack-whore. Ok, that last one’s not true because there might be some funny stories there. But please don’t give away spoilers for tv shows in your status (some of us have kids and can’t watch “Dexter” when it’s on) and quit using Facebook as a means to get sympathy. Quit airing your dirty laundry about fighting with your spouse or mother or whatever. No matter how much I want to, I’ll not fall victim to that and give you what you want!
There have been times when I’ve been off of Facebook for an extended time. One was when I gave birth to my youngest daughter 2 ½ years ago because I didn’t have a laptop to take with me to t he hospital. The other was when we took a family cruise vacation in 2009 and we were in the middle of the ocean for 5 days. That was the only time in the recent past that I can remember NOT EVEN THINKING about Facebook.
What’s the moral of the story?
I need to go on more cruises.
Thanks so much to Jia for letting me
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