So come on stalkers! Show yourselves!
Is anyone else thinking that the official delurking day badge is kind of promoting "Show Me Your Penis" day?
I've never actually been flashed. I mean, by someone who isn't my husband, cause seriously, that man? Just can't not be nude sometimes. I can't count the number of times when I've had to say, "Can you please get dressed in the bedroom like a normal person and not in front of the open blinds in the living room?" He usually replies something like, "They're only half open," or "I pay the rent here," or "You knew what I was like when you married me."
Which honestly, is kind of true.
Side note, yesterday I made a batch of homemade salsa and I made some special for him with habaneros (called "Matt's Stupid Salsa"), and I kid you not, before he took his first bite of it, he blew on the salsa. Cause it was hot. I died. But then I realised that I've done the same thing. I think that means we're soul mates. Or something.
I've flashed people.
Don't look at me like that, I had a shady dark side for YEARS before I ever met my husband. Although I met him when I was fourteen. That's a little concerning. OMG I'm going to be the most stressed out parent when we have kids and they become teenagers. I can see it now...
"Mom, I'm only fourteen, I just want to go to a slumber party and listen to the 2025 version of Justin Bieber with my friends while we watch old classic movies like Hannah Montana and Twilight."
"Oh no you don't. You don't think I know what it was like to be fourteen? When I was fourteen I was smoking, crawling out of boys windows and beating up homeless people for liquor!"
"You beat up homeless people for liquor?"
"Okay well, maybe I just snuck it out of the liquor cabinet at Motherlys when she and Grandpa were at work, and it was really only that one time and it tasted awful, but still! I know what you're really up to . . . sneaking out to go park with some boys and get jiggy with it while listening to a Metallica on your iPod."
"What's an iPod?"
And then I'll call her a smart mouth and tell her that when I was young, iPods were all teh craze. She'll roll her eyes and talk about how music is implanted in your brain via satellite now, and she'll leave for the slumber party while I try and show her how awesome vintage Angry Birds is.
By the way, this Sunday is my Mother in Law's birthday. She didn't give birth to me, but I call her Mom. And even though she didn't spend hours and hours in labor with me, she did catch me crawling out of her sons bedroom window when I was fourteen, so the lady deserves some credit and a lot of love.
So umm . . . yeah . delurk and whatnot y'all.
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