Love, Yourself

Dear Jia,

It's me. You know, that girl in 2010 who used to look back at you in the mirror. My name is Jia, and we have a lot in common. We have the same hopes, dreams and goals for the future. We've seen some ups in our life, but mostly, there has been a lot of downs. And things on my end are not looking good.

So this year, I am here to remind you what you really want out of life.

"A year from tomorrow you'll wish you started a new life today."

You've said this before, but never taken action. You give up too easily. You make a lot of excuses. So I am going to be here to remind you of those excuses and that they just aren't good enough. I am going to be here to remind you what's more important. Because you're going to have bad days, but it's hard to remember the good days. So I'm going to remind you. I'm going to push you. Because a year from tomorrow, you'll be glad that I did this for you today.

I'm writing you these letters today, here in old 2010 months before it even approaches 2011. Why? Because yesterday was a good day and sometimes those days don't come too often. So at a high point, I am writing you, to remind you that there are good days. There are beautiful days. And you are strong.

Each month there will be a post ready for you, automatically scheduled (because you'll probably forget and it'll be a nice surprise) and I'm going to remind you the difference a year can make. And here is your assignment: Follow my instructions and then blog about your progress. Show the difference in that year! Share the experience with others, and as you always hope to do . . . be an inspiration.

Love,

Yourself

**Note to Readers: These letters are what inspired Charlie to create the blog, Letters to Jia

Zombie Preparedness

Zombies. They are a’comin.

It’s not a matter of if, it’s a matter of when. More importantly, it’s a matter of will you be prepared well enough to survive the first 72 hours of the initial outbreak?

My goal is to make sure you greet 2011 with the knowledge to do just that.

The most important thing to remember here is that if you’re prepared for the walking dead, you’re prepared for pretty much anything.

Okay, here we go.

DON’T PANIC.

Seriously. Keep your cool and you will increase your chance of survival by at least 50%. This will be easy for you because thanks to me, you’ll have a basic plan and since you’ve known this day was coming, the shock won’t hit you as hard. So when the first reports start coming in you’ll just take a deep breathe, grab your bug out bag, and hit the road.

But, Lady Hill, what is a bug out bag?!
(I was getting to that…)

Bug Out Bag… you need one. Or two. Or three. Keep on by your front door, one in your car, and possibly one by the back door or somewhere else you think you may need to run to. If you have more than one floor to your home, keep one on each level. You should also keep one at work. It may seem like over kill but trust me, you’ll thank me later when you don’t have to make it past a zombie horde to get downstairs to grab your bag, and when you don’t have to head 20 miles in the wrong direction from work just to grab your supplies before heading to a safe zone.

I can’t possibly prepare you for everything in one post, and I don’t want to entirely take over Jia’s blog so I’m going to give you the basic, bare bones information you’ll need to get through the first 72 hours.

Basic Bug Out Bag Supplies: (this is per person)

• FOOD. Enough for 3 days. I personally prefer protein bars, and other LIGHT easy to carry/pack foods. Think protein, and some carbs. Not a ton of sugar.
• Water. Enough for 3 days. Water can get heavy. If you don’t think you can carry enough water for three days, please invest in water purification tablets. They are light weight, easy to carry/pack, and inexpensive. You can even find them on Amazon.com
• Clothing, including rain gear and proper footwear. Make functionality and warmth a priority. Zombies don’t care how hip and chic you look.
• Shelter. This can be a small tent, a tarp, a few blankets… something to protect you from the elements that makes sense for your environment. I always make sure to include a survival blanket which is a shiny silver paperish material that helps keep you warm and cool at the same time.
• First Aid Kit. Be sure to have bandages, pain relievers, aloe, ointment, and a sewing kit in there.
• Ability to make a fire by at least three means. ie: waterproof matches, FireSteel and lighter.
• Basic survival gear – good knife, rope such as paracord, small axe, compass, maps of the general area.
• A flash light. NON battery operated. Think crank or solar power.
• A radio. Also, non battery operated. Crank radios are great.
• A WEAPON. Please, do not go and purchase an illegal gun. If you have a permit, great. If not, do what I do and go with a blade. I have a machete easily accessible from almost every room in my apartment. Practice with it before the pandemic, otherwise you’ll just hurt yourself.

If you can keep your cool, and grab your bug out bag, hopefully you’ll be able to get to somewhere safe. The first 48 hours are the most critical, the government should still be in tact. Avoid hospitals, that’s where they bring the initial infected. Do not try to make it to your friend’s house or your family. Have a plan on where to meet so that you are not wasting precious time getting to each other.

Be sure to visit my blog for more information about zombie survival as well as crafts, recipes and more. I will also be launching www.zombiesafety.com in the next few weeks. Until then, pack your bug out bag, map out your escape route, and make sure all of your VIPs are in on your plan.

Oh, and don’t get bit.

There’s no bug out bag in the world that can help you at that point.

Jia here. I wanted to chime in on this post to let you all know the seriousness of the oncoming Zombie Apocalypse. That's right, it's real y'all. It's not just a catchy Kirby Krackle song. Thankfully survival is all about what you know and who you know. Thankfully I know Lady Hill, who is a a blogging, zombie hunting princess. She's also the founder and president of the Long Island Chapter of the Zombie Research Society. That's cred if I've ever seen it.

Charlie's TOP TEN

So, Jia’s out of town, and I get to babysit her blog today! Which is exciting, because I enjoy being a guest blogger. It feels much more exciting to blog somewhere else than on my own blogs.
(Plug: Operation Shrink Charlie’s Big Butt AND Letters to Jia- my life is blogging.)

And Jia told me I could talk about anything I wanted. So I figure I ought to go for broke.

TOP TEN REASONS I HATE MY PERIOD
(and she told me I'm not allowed to use pictures. I understand. Thankfully, my shocking ability to create mental pictures should get the point across beautifully!)

1. It’s been happening for 23 years, and I’m OVER it.
Sure, I was all excited the first time it happened. And the second time. And quite possibly even the third time. After that, it’s like watching the same episode of The Brady Bunch over and over again. Which is really annoying if it’s the one where Marsha gets her nose broken by the football. How many times do I really need to go through watching the football slam Maureen in the face? Speaking of noses…

2. It stinks.
Literally. I pride myself on talking about the things no one else talks about. So let’s hit this one. What is up with that peculiar odor that comes with your monthly cycle? It’s not like normal “I cut myself and now I smell like a penny” stink. Nope, that odor is unmistakable. You can’t miss it. Mother Nature’s own perfume. {I wonder why Calvin Klein hasn’t marketed that yet? The commercial would be hysterical. A woman laying on a beach in a white bikini, a hot guy walks by (not wearing a shirt, of course, and resembling Nathan Fillion) and looks at her with lust in his eyes. She rolls onto her back, and there’s a huge white pad silhouette on her rear as she reaches out to him. Then the voice over says “Period. By Calvin Klein.”  How can he go wrong with that?} The worst is when you walk into a public restroom and you smell someone else’s “smell”. It’s not like yours, yet eerily close enough that you recognize it immediately.

3. Period fingers.
This has got to be Jia’s favorite topic of mine that I have ever blogged about. She was one of the few who commented on it. But every woman knows what I am talking about. It’s when you wake up in the morning to discover you scratched the “area” in your sleep, and your hands look like you committed murder. What a way to wake up. Then you get to spend the next 20 minutes scrubbing your nails with a toothbrush. It’s probably best I don’t have a real job to rush off to in the mornings…

4.  It’s regularly irregular.
I know my body. I can read the signs- the PMS, the bloating, the frantic eating like I’m living on the green mile about to have my last meal… and yet, I am ALWAYS surprised when it hits. Why? Because it’s not scheduled like clockwork. I hate that.

5. The triggers that start my period.
Those triggers include: Not having tampons or pads in my purse. Being asleep on clean sheets. Planning to have WMS (wild monkey sex) with the husband later that night. Wearing a pair of brand new unstained white underwear. (That one makes me nuts) Wearing light colored pants. Having something important to do that requires you not to be  hemorrhaging from the crotchal region. Planning to swim. Getting married in an hour. (My something borrowed was a tampon. NO LIE.)

6. The fact that guys are mystified by it.
OK, gentlemen, here’s how it works. 3-7 days a month your wife will be clinically insane. She will be an eating machine, will criticize everything you do, scream and/or cry, possibly threaten you with death, and then she will start her period and everything goes back to normal. Except that then she will be crampy, bloatey, feel super fat and unsexy. Probably has something to do with her insides falling out. This is a completely natural process. Women have been doing it since the beginning of mankind. It’s not going to change, you wife cannot rise above her horror-moan-al urges, and if you want the pooty when she’s done ragging, you have to be understanding about it from start to finish. There is no mystery. There’s no cure. So why does it still shock and amaze you your wife morphs from Donna Reed to Courtney Love in a 3 hour span? Get over it!

7. The fact that friends cycle together.
If you have a good gal pal that you spend lots of time with, or work with other women closely in your office, chances are you have experienced this. It makes no sense to me, but then again, neither does NASCAR. All I know is that for a week, every woman I love makes me crazy, then we all start our period and forgive each other with Fanny May chocolates and Margaritas. At least we can borrow tampons from each other cause we are all packing heat…

8. The fact we bloat.
I don’t see how this benefits us in any way shape or form. It kinda ruins my shape, and then I get all convinced that I maybe am preggers and get excited. Then the flood hits and I bawl my eyes out for 10 minutes because I’m not, and I move on. My stomach returns to its normal pre-bloat state (which shockingly resembles my bloated state- only a trained eye can tell the difference) and I move on with my day.

9. The fact we bleed at all.
I once heard a comedienne say “Why can’t I shove a stack of post-it notes and a sharpie up there, and you can just stick a note in my panties that says not pregnant?” I agree wholeheartedly. That seems much kinder and gentler than the current method.

9 ½. PUBES AND ADHESIEVES.
We’ve all brazillian waxed half on accident at least once with a rouge wing. ‘Nuff said.

10. The fact that the one week of the year our kids are gone, and the hubs and I can christen every room in the house with WMS, I start bleeding and it’s GAME OVER.

And those are the top 10 reasons I hate my period.

Thanks, Jia, for letting me vent on your blog. I love you, Whoreface.

Come back tomorrow to see the next guest blogger! She probably won’t be as low brow as me… at least I hope she's not for your sake!!!

Leavin' On a Jet Plane

I seriously tried to come up with a humorous TSA parody of Leavin' On a Jet Plane, but really, I'm writing this post on Monday night and I haven't even cleaned out my suitcase yet.

I totally don't have time for this.

By the time you all are reading this, I will be heading out the door to the airport, ready to be molested by the nice people who are doing their jobs and apparently keeping the airlines safe. I'd like to suggest that if they're going to feel me up in the security line, that the least they could do is give me a free drink coupon for when I finally board the plane.

I know the flight to Denver is like less than two hours from here, but I'm dying to see what mixes best with Dramamine. Either way I'll end up with a ginger-ale and tomato juice (not mixed). It's the same two drinks I get every single time I ever fly. I've done this since I was ten years old. I think when I was ten I thought ginger-ale was liquor.

By the way, while I'm gone I've got some awesome guest bloggers lined up for y'all. Including a few posts I've pre-written, cause I know how painful it is to go a week without me.

(And I'll be active on Twitter all week as well). 

But I've got Charlie, April, Lady Hill and several others set to amuse and offend you in my absence.

Until next time.  

Pray for me to have a safe flight.

And that perhaps Nathan Fillion has taken a job as a TSA agent.

Vegas Baby!

Vegas is the reason I won't be here for a whole week! Woo!

Oh wait, no, that's right. I'm not going to Vegas.

Motherly is going to Vegas for New Years.

I'm going to Denver to watch her house while she goes to Vegas.

It's okay though. The last time I went to Vegas, this happened:

To be fair, my boobs had just popped up that summer so I was feeling overly confident.

Motherly gambled away her money that trip.

I gambled away the chance that I would ever put on any medieval clothing ever again.

Then again six years later this happened.

In my defense I was on a huge Pepsi high when the guy to my left bought all his chick friends outfits so we could strut around the mall like frickin' idiots. Seriously.

You can't even see my cleavage!  

Who does that?! 


Thank God for Matt who came along and married me so I could be less weird.

Huh.

This post has gotten completely out of control. I need a vacation.

According to Motherly, I'm taking one this week.

I'll be staying at La Spa de Motherly in the tropical islands of Denver. I will wake up every morning to a complimentary Cup O' Noodles, homemade salsa and pasta salad that Motherly prepared in advance. From my deluxe suite, I will have a very scenic view of snow. I will have the luxury of having no internet - ah the peace and quiet - and every day I will be privately entertained by a small choir of shi-tzus. Every night the maid service (me) will turn down my bed (and clean up the entire house to Motherly's satisfaction, or else the itshay, will hit the anfay.)

When Motherly returns, she has insisted that we have some mother/daughter bonding time by catching a movie.

I wonder if she'll enjoy Jackass in 3D.

I'm Leaving. Who Wants to Babysit my Blog?

So I'm leaving Wednesday morning.

Gonna go babysit the Motherlys house while she rings in the New Year - Vegas style.

And while I've got my list of things to pack, a house to clean and meals to make a head, because I don't want Matt to starve while I'm gone, I totally and completely forgot to plan on who would be babysitting my blog while I'm gone! How neglectful am I!?

I've already got one guest poster lined up for Thursday, but I'm hoping I can get a few more to take care of my poor baby while I'm gone. And also, could you please feed my readers too? They need at least one post every day or two or they go stir crazy and start setting B list celebrities on fire.

Leave me a comment or send me an email (untypicallyjia@gmail.com) if you want to guest post between December 31st to January 5th.

How CSN Got Me Through the Holidays

Everyone should know by now that I used to be someone who would never shop online. I didn't see the point. Everything online could just as easily be bought at Walmart and for less than half the price. That was until CSN came along and changed everything. It also got me through the holidays this year.

I am not a baker. Because I hate the clean up.

I just didn't have the strength left to scrub my metal muffin tin anymore.

Enter silicone baking cups.
Cue angels singing.
Serve eggnog cupcakes for Christmas party.
Repeat.

Matt and I aren't big egg eaters. Unless their deviled eggs. In which case I never even get to have any cause they're all gone.

So finding use for this microwave omelet pan was tricky. Until Willow needed to put on some weight. Dog food omelet, coming right up!

Totally easy to clean! Makes omelets in less than 5 minutes!

We go through tupperware constantly. It breaks, gets lost, melts in the dishwasher, you name it. Until we found SuperSeal Food Savers.

These suckers are durable! And they helped prep meals for Thanksgiving and Christmas, not to mention kept the leftovers safe and sound.

My only complaint is that they aren't stackable. But we also still have all 48 pieces. So I can't complain too much.

 You've seen this before. Cook bacon without the fat!

It does what it says it does. It cooks the bacon, removes the fat, and is even super easy to clean.

Here's my problem. Bacon tastes better with fat. You might as well be eating turkey bacon. And I hate turkey bacon.

I honestly cooked the bacon on this thing for about half the time, let all the grease drain into the bottom, then I added the bacon to the grease and finished cooking it that way! Made great tasting bacon. Not quite fat free. But I also didn't get a grease burn while cooking it on the stove. It's a win-win.

One of my favourite things ever is my rice cooker. It's supposed to be a rice and pasta cooker, but I only use it for rice.

Because the rice it makes is so divine that cooking pasta in it would just defile it's intended purpose in my eyes.

I should mention that I can cook great pasta on the stove. But my rice always burns. Or comes out too sticky. Or crunchy. Or pink. Don't ask.

This however is just awesome. Plus, it came with a strainer, rice spatula, measuring spoons and measuring cups. Sooo worth it!

This was one of Matt's Christmas gifts.

It's a Swiss Army pairing knife. Are you kidding? Nope, no I'm not. A Swiss. Army. Pairing. Knife.

It's heaven. It cuts through onions and tomatoes like a dream.

I imagine it's also a very good weapon. But you'd have to ask the Swiss Army about that.

About a month before Christmas, Matt was all, "We should get a juicer."  

But I totally didn't want to go there. Because I've owned a juicer before, and those things suck at cleaning.

So for Christmas I got him a bad ass blender.

12 speed. The 12th button creates hurricanes. And strawberry banana smoothies. And it can stand the heat too, so I use it to make creamed soups.



Disclaimer: I received the above mentioned items to review. All opinions of the above mentioned items are my own and were not influenced in any way. To read my full disclosure policy, click here.

Putting an End to This Season

Anyone else in a Christmas coma?

Good, it's not just me.

We spent our Christmas day like most other Christmases that came before it - in the style of my family - driving around town like maniacs trying to see as many people as possible. After getting 3 hours of sleep the night before, I woke up and got our presents all gathered together, added the finishing touches on my homemade gifts for friends and family. Matt and I had already finished giving presents to one another on December 23rd, so we could skip over Christmas at our house and just get to everyone else.

We did however get nice and decked out in our new Steelers gear, one of my gifts to Matt.

You can't tell cause it's backwards
but Matt is wearing a Steelers hat too

I told everyone that asked, that we were wearing Steelers gear to celebrate Santa's gift to us, which was a great Steelers season and a terrible Cowboys season, LOL! My sister asked me how my Steelers shirt was considered a gift for Matt, he replied, "She wasn't wearing pants when she put it on for me." Heh.

Thanks to amazing sponsors, friends, gift cards and ultimately luck, Matt and I were able to have a great Christmas together. The loot was awesome this year. I got him several handmade items, an awesome blender, a swiss knife, cologne, and some puzzle gear cause the man loves to assemble things. He got me a year premium account to Picnik, a robe, massaging things for my back and feet, and new dinnerware - the man, he knows me. We both got a few movies too. But best of all, we got to spend a lot of time together despite him working everyday (including Christmas Eve), and me going crazy trying to get things together for everyone else.

Our first stop on Christmas was to visit my sister and nephew. Trey is getting so big and the older he gets the more he looks like Kristine. It's crazy. I got to hold him for a while, but children seem to respond to my lack of maternal instinct by thrashing in my arms violently and then spitting up. Matt has a much easier time with kids. Maybe he should get pregnant.

After leaving my sisters, we headed up to Matt's brothers house where the parents had also gathered together for breakfast. My sister in law Megan made the most amazing pumpkin waffles, which was heaven especially since we hadn't eaten anything yet. We sat down and exchanged presents, which is always amusing. My mother in law always fills our stockings similarly. Megan and I usually get at least 50% of the same things, and Andy and Matt have the same. So it's fun to see who gets to dig through theirs first. I got kitchen gadgets galore. Matt got a shower radio, a flashlight and a trivia calendar.

The best part was when it came to the bigger gifts. I knew that Matt's parents were giving him a recliner, because our lazy boy was busted to hell, and every man needs a recliner. It's a rule. Matt hadn't a clue.

We walked into the house, and our three year old niece Hannah looks up and with a big bright smile yells, "You got a chair!" Everyone who knew tried to hush her in case Matt didn't hear it the first time. But she continued. "I said you got a chair for Christmas!" Too. Freaking. Funny.

The kids opened their gifts, and we lucked out this year by getting Noah not one, but two styrofoam airplanes, and he was pretty much set for the day after that. Mistakenly, we bought a puzzle for Hannah, forgetting to notice that instead of it being an easy 30 piece set made for a 3 year old, I picked up the 100 piece set. So she played with her dollhouse, while Andy put Tinkerbell and friends together on the kitchen table.

I think that Megan and I lucked out the best this year. She got a sewing machine, and my mother in law found me a used Kitchen Aide mixer. Which is something I want and need. She's had one for years and every time we go over, I always say that when she dies, I get her kitchen aide mixer. Last May when we had some money, she tried convincing me for an hour to buy one. We stood inside Costco, pacing back and forth while I continued to convince myself that it just wasn't worth it. I don't have the ability to spend money on myself. At all. So it was good that she did it for me. Now I can stop obsessively entering contests on Pioneer Woman.

After taking off, we drove to the house of one of Matt's friends from growing up. We've known Joe for well over ten years, and when his huge family gets together for Christmas, we are invited. Joe's family is Mexican, so in addition to turkey and the usual dinner sides, they have homemade queso and tamales. Matt could have gotten coal in his stockings, so long as he got to have tamales. They're that good. Every Christmas after taking the first bite, Matt leans over and says, "You need to learn how to make these!" This year, Joe's sister jokingly said, "You don't make him fresh tamales? What kind of wife are you?!" I replied, "An Irish one."

On our way home, we stopped by the house of some new friends from Church, Jackie and Will who are newly married and spending their first Christmas together. We stood around talking about videogames, Star Wars and unloaded our g33k on one another for a while.

By the time we finally got home, it took a whole five minutes before I put on A Christmas Story and collapsed on the couch. After Matt's parents dropped the recliner (and a slider chair for me) off, we sat around, letting the end of Christmas really sink in and passing out.

Try to wake me! I triple-dog-dare ya.

Update: Matt just informed me that the puzzle was actually 200 pieces. I think I'm expecting way too much from my three year old niece. 

Stuff I Did When I Wasn't Here: Early Christmas Version

I'm doing this early because honestly this weekend is going to be just pure insanity for most everyone, and I'm not stupid enough to think I won't get caught up in it somehow. Also, because I just posted a really serious Christmas letter and I have huge issues with having something serious be the first thing people look at when they come to my blog.

So yeah, here's a picture of me as Rudolph. Take that seriousness!


Welcome to This Week On:

This Week on Letters to Jia:

• Size Matters

This Week on Spoiler Whore:

• I Sleep With Dead Guys Club
• G33k Girl Xmas Gifts

This Week on the Internet:

• The awesomeness behind the Blogger Body Calendar gave me a shout out (along with other promoters) and I squeed inside with excitement. Cause attention feeds my soul.

This Week on Twitter:

This Week on Things I Wish I Could Steal but Probably Couldn't Pull Off Anyways:

• A Social Network Christmas
• Just Another Reason Kenny Loggins ruins Christmas
• Don't Let Zombies Ruin Your Christmas
• This isn't the video you're looking for.
• My new favourite website.

Merry Christmas - Friends, Family and Loved Ones Everywhere

Dear Friends and Family,

As Christmas approaches tomorrow, we've been reflecting on the blessings that our family has received this past year. It's something that's rather easy for us come Christmas, since we open all of our presents by December 23rd - currently it seems to be the longest running family tradition we have! So with all of the gifts out of the way, it's easier for us to be reminded the true reason for the season.

We were very blessed this year in so many ways. In January Matt found a new job that he truly loves and is really thriving in. He enjoys going to work now, and has been a star on both of the teams he's belonged to since starting there. Matt's job also provides him free college, which has been an amazing experience for the both of us. He is going for his bachelors in business management and has already completed his first year with amazing grades, acing all of his finals!

This year brought some health trials and once again, Jessica had to choose between working outside of the home and risking her health, or staying home and tightening the budget. Home it was. Thanks to God, our budget didn't tighten too much and we've still been able to celebrate holidays and birthdays and were even able to have a much nicer Christmas than we did last year. Jessica's health has improved greatly. She has taken many strides in overcoming her anxiety and obsessive compulsive disorder. She has even begun taking baby steps to dealing with the rest of her health, mainly her weight.

This year came with the unfortunate passing of our puppy, Sookie, who was given to us when she was unknowingly, already sick. We had her for only one month but it was very hard for both of us. Willow, our six year old Pug, is healthy and happy as ever. Sometimes she gets skinny because she refuses to eat for a day or two, instead using that time to her advantage to play. To help bulk her up a little we've created the "dog omelet", which she just makes a mess out of.

We welcomed a new life into our extended family this year. Jessica was present for the birth of our new nephew, Trey, who is Jessica's sister - Kristine's - first born child. We try to keep in touch with our other siblings and their children as well. Matt's brother Andy and his wife Megan are doing well with their three children, Noah, Hannah and Leah. Noah just turned six years old. Where does the time go? In Utah, Jessica's sister Tiffany opened her own children's boutique and has been featured on television shows there and has been reviewed by many renowned internet sites. Her girls Samantha, Isabel, Emilee and Lily all are growing up too fast if you ask us. Samantha just turned twelve and had the opportunity to go to the temple for the first time and help do the work for Grandma Pacini, who died in 1999. Jessica's brothers, Johnny and Nico live with their mother Miki, and Grandmother in Utah and the boys are growing up into handsome little men.

We see Matt's parents as often as we can, but not nearly as often as we'd like since we now live in Albuquerque and Matt's work schedule prevents us from getting together sometimes. Both parents are doing well, though they had to put their Boxer, Finn, to sleep this year due to seizures. Leia, their Pug is still alive and kicking, proving that Pugs somehow seem to be a very long lasting dog. Jessica's aunt Paula, who is basically her mother, moved to Denver this year with her husband who was promoted in his job and relocated. They sold their home here and moved this summer, which was very hard on both Jessica and Kristine. Plans however are already set for Jessica to visit them next week and stay into the first week of the new year.

We were very excited to visit get a visit from Matt's aunt Dawn, who came down in September to stay with Matt's parents, as well as Matt's uncle Don and aunt Tammy who followed up in October. We hope to travel more in the coming year to visit Matt's family in Michigan and Ohio, as well as Jessica's family in Utah.

Sadly this year has brought grief to the family as well. Jessica lost her great aunt Vera this fall, and the family was struck again with the passing of the newborn daughter of Jessica's cousin, Brandon. Prayers are still going out strong to their family, as well as the daughters of Vera. Personal issues have arose on both sides of our family - as well as our friends, with members who are dealing with hospital stays, surgeries, cancer, heart problems, divorce, unemployment and much, much more, but we know that God is still there with them all through the hard times.

As rough as 2010 was, it seems that we've come out stronger in the end as 2011 approaches. Christmas was a great blessing this year, as were all the holidays which we celebrated with much gusto, alongside family and friends. We send out our love, good thoughts and prayers to those who are still in great need, and our hopes that despite your situation, you find at least a moment of peace to celebrate the wonder of Christmas.

In Love and Friendship,

Matt, Jessica and Willow

Brutal Honesty and Christmas

So I had a bad morning. Like really bad. Not panic attack bad, which is kind of amazing considering everything else that happened this year, which makes me think that maybe I'm making serious progress in overcoming my anxiety. But still it was a bad morning.

And upon realising it was a bad morning, I immediately thought: I want to blog about this because I feel like I just need to get it out sometimes (like I usually do) but it's two days before Christmas and that's just kind of tacky to be all pissy about something when I'm constantly being reminded all over the damn internet about how blessed I am, and how other people have it worse, and Christmas miracles, and Santa and yay Jesus!

Not to mention I'm married to the spirit of Christmas insanity. A man who starts singing carols three weeks before Thanksgiving, insists on opening Christmas gifts the first week of December and has been trying to convince me that Die Hard counts as a Christmas movie.

Bah. Humbug.

I'm pissy today. Even though it's two days before Christmas. But you know what? I'll get over it. I'll probably blog about it later on, just to get it out in the open and off of my mind, but for now after writing this I've come to realise that even when life is a little pissy, I can still find a way to smile. A way to laugh through the pain.

Happy Christmas Eve-Eve, y'all.

What's on Jia's Phone?

I was super busy this week getting ready for a Christmas Party that we decided to throw last minute. I took a few pictures of the party with my phone, but I haven't gotten used to the new camera phone yet. All my pictures are grainy. Blah. Oh well. Here's the rest of what I got this week.

Bionic Pug

You'd think I caught him reading porn.
Nope. Just the Hickory Farms catalog.

And they call it . . . Puppy Love . . . .

A couch, a recliner and even her very own bed
And she chooses to sleep in her toy box.

How to Host a Christmas Party

Step One: Marry a man who likes to wait until the very last minute before deciding to throw a holiday party.

Step Two: Love him anyways. Cause he has a really cute butt.

Step Three: Clean the house like a mad woman because frankly, you're still exhausted from the aftermath of hosting Thanksgiving.

Step Four: Put together the scrapbook Christmas tree you made last year when you couldn't afford a real tree. Add new leaves as per the tradition rules. Write down the best memory from this year on a leaf and add it to the tree. Procrastinate this last step several days. Also, hang stockings.

Step Five: Put together the actual (fake) tree that the in-laws gave you this year. Move all the furniture in the house to accommodate the tree, cause you have to have a tree. Use a hammer to assemble the tree stand. Set hammer on top of the recliner.

Step Six: Hang all the Christmas lights outside.

Step Seven: Assemble a homemade scrapbook wreath to match your scrapbook Christmas tree. marvel at how long it took to put together (2 hours) and that it took over 70 scrapbook leaves and a whole roll of tape. Worth it.

Step Eight: In exhaustion, collapse into the recliner to rest. Allow the hammer you placed there earlier to fall on your head. Proceed with concussion.

Step Nine: . . .

Step Nine: . . .

Step Orange: . . .

Step . . . why do I have so many stairs on my blog?

Step Ten: Prep as much food as you can as early as possible. This trick has already been proven for Thanksgiving.

On the Menu

• Cheese Platter
• Rice Krispies dunked in melted Peanut Butter Cups
• Crock Pot full of Meatballs slow cooked in BBQ sauce and fresh cranberries
• Egg Nog Cupcakes
• Corn and Avocado Salsa and Chips
• Cranberry Lemonade
• Orange Sherbert Punch

Step Eleven: Invite all of your friends on Facebook because who checks their mail anymore?

Step Twelve: Invite all of your husbands co-workers by creating a flier. To get the full effect, forget to put your address on the flier.

Step Thirteen: Make a mad dash to the store for last minute items and assemble at home just in time for the guests to arrive.

Spend the next few hours watching everyone devour your delicious food, marvel at your homemade decorations, and chat with one another. Pat yourself on the back for pulling this off. Pet your dog for behaving around a huge crowd of people. Especially since she's kind of pissed at you for putting a bell on her collar. Wonder silently why all the men in the room are making fun of the Twilight cupcakes your friend brought, and yet, they are the only ones eating them.

Step Fourteen: Eat all the leftovers once everyone leaves. Collapse into bed and sleep until 2pm the next day.

Step Fifteen: Forget that you dropped a hammer on your head days previous, brush your hair and scream. Repeat as needed.

In Conclusion . . . I Blogged a lot this Week

Welcome to This Week On:

This Week on Letters to Jia:

• I had to pee a lot.
• Using food to define myself.
• What does fat look like?

This Week on Spoiler Whore:

• I issued a challenge to all my fellow Buffy fans.

This Week on Modern Molly Mormon:

• Christmas traditions and free virtual magazines.

This Week on the Internet:

• After learning a lesson about drinking and driving, the amazing Allison Zapata wrote about her experiences, and then in an act of complete awesomeness, she used her fame to spread the story about my mother.

This Week on Twitter:

This Week on Things I Wish I Could Steal but Probably Couldn't Pull Off Anyways:

• The next best thing to being awesomely offensive, is being amazingly charitable.
• I am the least famous person linking to The Busy Dad this week. 
• Got Bo Burnham's new CD and I've had all of his songs stuck in my head. I wanted to link one of his videos cause they are super offensive funny. This one's at least bleeped for your enjoyment!
• My new guilty pleasure.

Self Esteem Saturday: That One Problem Area

Featuring Sara, from Sara's Organized Chaos

When I saw Helena from Life in the Pitts post her Self Esteem Saturday... I knew I had to do it. I have one problem area on me that I have had since I hit puberty that never really changes and is just there. It really sucks. It's the one thing on my body I would change in a heartbeat if I had the money for a surgery. It makes me feel unsexy and self conscious about myself.

That problem area?

Would be what my five year old refers to as my "kangaroo pouch". Yes- folks. I have what appears to be a pouch on my stomach that you would expect an animal to pop out of. It sucks and no amount of exercise or dieting has made any difference at all.

Here's my pouch straight on:

And here is an adorable side view:

Overall.... I'd say I had good self esteem. I don't hate myself at all, I love who I am. I have a fun personality, I have a cute face, I have nice boobs and a bubble ass I adore. I wouldn't change any of these things. I'm not size 6.. I'm a size 12 and I'm ok with that. I know I'm not going to be model thin and if I got back down to a size 10 (which is where I was when I met my husband) I'd be thrilled to damn pieces. I'm curvy and I love it.

But the pouch...makes it hard. I'm not going to lie. I see bikinis at the stores I know I could wear..if only the pouch wasn't there. I see beautiful sun dresses that I'd love to wear but the fabric clinging to the pouch makes me feel like it's being magnified. I am adamant that I will not wear Spanx or anything of the sort because it's false advertising and I think the concept is ridiculous in general. I've learned to dress myself so I look attractive but the pouch isn't noticeable. Buying lingerie? Is really hard. I so badly want to wear the skimpy things but I know the pouch will be front and center. And then I feel unsexy.

It doesn't help when I see women on tv and magazines with these amazing bodies. They are beautiful... down right gorgeous. And while I feel like I can hold my own... I can't hold it next to them. Granted, most of these women can afford and have had surgery. While I want to knock them for that... I can't. Because I know that if I had the money I would absolutely do it too.

One of the reasons I knew Matt was the one I was going to marry was he never says a thing about my pouch. Never has. When we first started dating and things got intimate.. I was automatically self conscious about Mr. Pouch but I remember he looked right at me and said, "You realize I love every bit of you... right?" And bingo. I fell in love and he has never made me feel bad about my body. He's always encouraged every weight loss adventure I went on and when it failed or I gave up I always got the "who cares- you look great anyways". Over the last year I've worked really hard and lost twenty pounds by making friends with my f@#!mill (a.k.a. treadmill). And while I went from a size 16 to a 12... the pouch has never changed. Two babies later... it never changed. It's frustrating. And I think I have to just embrace my pouch.

And even though my pouch brings me down... there are lots of things I really love about myself. My boobs and ass are nice. They aren't spectacular but it's usually the first thing people notice about me. I love my eyes and my button nose. I love my lips that are sometimes crooked with a bump on my bottom lip (due to me being a 4 year old terror who tripped and hit my lip on the corner of a metal bed frame). I love the little white line I get across my nose in the summer from squinching my face up and the light freckles across my face. I love my feet and my cute toes. I love how my legs look in high heels. And I try to think of these things when my pouch gets me down.

---

Sassy Sara. That's what I'm gonna call her from now on.

I know so many women who have really good self esteem . . . except for that one problem area. I think we all have that one problem area that bothers us the most, even if there are others things we'd like to take care of as well.

I'm honestly just beyond proud of and amazed with Sara, who despite her "one problem area" speaks with such a positive tone (or writes with it at least). She knows her problem, she's done what she can (outside of surgery) to fix it, and she's come to terms with it and is able to understand that it doesn't define her. 

THAT is a beautiful thing. And so are you, Sara.

Each week we will use Self Esteem Saturdays to spread joy and love to one another.  Please show love for Sara in the comments below, for being brave and putting herself out there on display to the world. 

Note: Due to the upcoming holidays, I won't be hosting SES on December 25th or January 1st, but I am already scheduling SES guest posts for 2011 and spots are filling up! If you are interested in being featured on Self Esteem Saturdays, please send an email with the title  "Self Esteem Saturday" to untypicallyjia@gmail.com

What's on Jia's Phone? Diet Edition

Has everyone gone over to Letters to Jia yet? My new weight loss blog where my guru Charlie and I are taking something like weight loss and making it ... offensive. Well in honor of the new blog and my new journey to lose weight (and still somehow keep my awesome rack in the process) todays 'What's on My Phone?' is a "Diet Edition".

I know this doesn't have anything to do with weight loss
but it's our Christmas tree and lights that haven't been put up yet.
Which kinda shows my lazy.
Or my thoughtful because I'm totally waiting for Matt to put it up with me.
Probably lazy though.
Hell I was so lazy I apparently forgot to rotate the damn picture.

Deep breath...
This was our meatloaf last week.
Wrapped in bacon.
It was amazing.
AMAZING.
I'm the best wife ever.
But no more bacon wrapped meatloaf.

Again, nothing to do with dieting.
Which pretty much makes this whole "Diet Edition" pointless.
But I saw this while Christmas shopping.
It's a "massager"
When Matt saw it he said:
"Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, select, start.
Then you get 30 free orgasms."

Matt innocently bought these pants for me last Valentine's Day.
He was a good husband and thought that I wore a size 16.
Ha!
They claim to "instantly slim you"
Might need to fit into them first.
These are my official goal jeans.

I'll admit.
I photoshopped the hell out of this picture.
I was not in good light.
I had totally broken out thanks to hormones.
But my eyes are super green in it and that's awesome.

Our fridge, newly stocked in healthy treats.
Except the Pepsi, which is emergency caffeine for when I get a headache.
Also the Silk Egg Nog is totally Matt's.
I don't drink Egg Nog ever.
And certainly not when it's fake Egg Nog.