What's on Jia's Phone? Diet Edition

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Has everyone gone over to Letters to Jia yet? My new weight loss blog where my guru Charlie and I are taking something like weight loss and making it ... offensive. Well in honor of the new blog and my new journey to lose weight (and still somehow keep my awesome rack in the process) todays 'What's on My Phone?' is a "Diet Edition".

I know this doesn't have anything to do with weight loss
but it's our Christmas tree and lights that haven't been put up yet.
Which kinda shows my lazy.
Or my thoughtful because I'm totally waiting for Matt to put it up with me.
Probably lazy though.
Hell I was so lazy I apparently forgot to rotate the damn picture.

Deep breath...
This was our meatloaf last week.
Wrapped in bacon.
It was amazing.
AMAZING.
I'm the best wife ever.
But no more bacon wrapped meatloaf.

Again, nothing to do with dieting.
Which pretty much makes this whole "Diet Edition" pointless.
But I saw this while Christmas shopping.
It's a "massager"
When Matt saw it he said:
"Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, select, start.
Then you get 30 free orgasms."

Matt innocently bought these pants for me last Valentine's Day.
He was a good husband and thought that I wore a size 16.
Ha!
They claim to "instantly slim you"
Might need to fit into them first.
These are my official goal jeans.

I'll admit.
I photoshopped the hell out of this picture.
I was not in good light.
I had totally broken out thanks to hormones.
But my eyes are super green in it and that's awesome.

Our fridge, newly stocked in healthy treats.
Except the Pepsi, which is emergency caffeine for when I get a headache.
Also the Silk Egg Nog is totally Matt's.
I don't drink Egg Nog ever.
And certainly not when it's fake Egg Nog.