Self Esteem Saturday: That One Problem Area

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Featuring Sara, from Sara's Organized Chaos

When I saw Helena from Life in the Pitts post her Self Esteem Saturday... I knew I had to do it. I have one problem area on me that I have had since I hit puberty that never really changes and is just there. It really sucks. It's the one thing on my body I would change in a heartbeat if I had the money for a surgery. It makes me feel unsexy and self conscious about myself.

That problem area?

Would be what my five year old refers to as my "kangaroo pouch". Yes- folks. I have what appears to be a pouch on my stomach that you would expect an animal to pop out of. It sucks and no amount of exercise or dieting has made any difference at all.

Here's my pouch straight on:

And here is an adorable side view:

Overall.... I'd say I had good self esteem. I don't hate myself at all, I love who I am. I have a fun personality, I have a cute face, I have nice boobs and a bubble ass I adore. I wouldn't change any of these things. I'm not size 6.. I'm a size 12 and I'm ok with that. I know I'm not going to be model thin and if I got back down to a size 10 (which is where I was when I met my husband) I'd be thrilled to damn pieces. I'm curvy and I love it.

But the pouch...makes it hard. I'm not going to lie. I see bikinis at the stores I know I could wear..if only the pouch wasn't there. I see beautiful sun dresses that I'd love to wear but the fabric clinging to the pouch makes me feel like it's being magnified. I am adamant that I will not wear Spanx or anything of the sort because it's false advertising and I think the concept is ridiculous in general. I've learned to dress myself so I look attractive but the pouch isn't noticeable. Buying lingerie? Is really hard. I so badly want to wear the skimpy things but I know the pouch will be front and center. And then I feel unsexy.

It doesn't help when I see women on tv and magazines with these amazing bodies. They are beautiful... down right gorgeous. And while I feel like I can hold my own... I can't hold it next to them. Granted, most of these women can afford and have had surgery. While I want to knock them for that... I can't. Because I know that if I had the money I would absolutely do it too.

One of the reasons I knew Matt was the one I was going to marry was he never says a thing about my pouch. Never has. When we first started dating and things got intimate.. I was automatically self conscious about Mr. Pouch but I remember he looked right at me and said, "You realize I love every bit of you... right?" And bingo. I fell in love and he has never made me feel bad about my body. He's always encouraged every weight loss adventure I went on and when it failed or I gave up I always got the "who cares- you look great anyways". Over the last year I've worked really hard and lost twenty pounds by making friends with my f@#!mill (a.k.a. treadmill). And while I went from a size 16 to a 12... the pouch has never changed. Two babies later... it never changed. It's frustrating. And I think I have to just embrace my pouch.

And even though my pouch brings me down... there are lots of things I really love about myself. My boobs and ass are nice. They aren't spectacular but it's usually the first thing people notice about me. I love my eyes and my button nose. I love my lips that are sometimes crooked with a bump on my bottom lip (due to me being a 4 year old terror who tripped and hit my lip on the corner of a metal bed frame). I love the little white line I get across my nose in the summer from squinching my face up and the light freckles across my face. I love my feet and my cute toes. I love how my legs look in high heels. And I try to think of these things when my pouch gets me down.

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Sassy Sara. That's what I'm gonna call her from now on.

I know so many women who have really good self esteem . . . except for that one problem area. I think we all have that one problem area that bothers us the most, even if there are others things we'd like to take care of as well.

I'm honestly just beyond proud of and amazed with Sara, who despite her "one problem area" speaks with such a positive tone (or writes with it at least). She knows her problem, she's done what she can (outside of surgery) to fix it, and she's come to terms with it and is able to understand that it doesn't define her. 

THAT is a beautiful thing. And so are you, Sara.

Each week we will use Self Esteem Saturdays to spread joy and love to one another.  Please show love for Sara in the comments below, for being brave and putting herself out there on display to the world. 

Note: Due to the upcoming holidays, I won't be hosting SES on December 25th or January 1st, but I am already scheduling SES guest posts for 2011 and spots are filling up! If you are interested in being featured on Self Esteem Saturdays, please send an email with the title  "Self Esteem Saturday" to untypicallyjia@gmail.com