Right then, they all gone now? I figured as much.
I received an email recently from someone asking me about my health progress as they observed I was on a path to losing weight. They also mentioned my complaint of infertility and offered the solution that somehow the two could be connected. Since they weren't a regular reader (and in fact offered me diet pills at the end of the email) I had no problem emailing back with a few choice four letter words, as well as some that I made up on my very own.
But it did bring about a question. I get emails from time to time from other readers who are over weight, have health issues they are dealing with, and even those who have dealt - at one time or another - with infertility. Many have been properly diagnosed with things like PCOS (poly cystic ovarian syndrome), tilted uterus, hormone imbalance, or like me they've had twelve different doctors tell them twelve different things and they've had to just figure it out themselves.
So here's a bit of my story.
During the course of our marriage, Matt and I have never been pregnant. Year one we were told to just keep trying. Year two we were told that I was too overweight to conceive. Six months later we were told that I was the problem (after no tests or examination) and I needed fertility drugs. Year three a doctor diagnosed me with PCOS (again without testing). The medication he put me on then had be bedridden for a full month. Year four it was suspected that I had a brain tumor causing hormonal imbalances. I didn't have a brain tumor, and my doctor tried to make me vegan instead. It usually comes back to my weight, which makes sense. Obesity causes hormonal imbalances. Obesity causes a lot of problems. But the hormonal imbalance was there before the weight gain.
Certainly if I lost the weight, things could change. But I have many reasons why it's hard. One of which is because I'm fairly anemic and that kills my energy. I've noticed it a lot lately over the last few months especially. I sleep a lot, and I'm tired most of the time I'm awake. Mild exercise feels like an overload, and frankly, daylight savings is not helping my sleep regularity.
It's hard to explain to people what's wrong when you can't get pregnant. Especially when you don't have all the answers. So I'll show you. Most women know how to track their cycles. There are computer programs to even help. Some color their calendars pink when it's "that time" and add numbers by the days so they know how much longer it'll last. 5-7 days is the usual. I began tracking mid September.
Anyone see a pattern? I'm so tired. Tired of being tired and tired of being questioned about my health. Tired of being told that if I wanted it badly enough I could do anything. It could be a number of things. A number of things most doctors won't take into consideration because they ignore the zebra and shoot straight for the horse. I'm overweight. It's a simple answer.
But being overweight and struggling with infertility is not simple.
There's also not a simple fix.
It takes hard work.
It takes a strong support system.
It takes a dramatic amount of faith and hope.
And I am not alone.
PS: This is not a pity post. Just informative. Just me venting. Hell, it's just me bitching a little cause we all need that sometimes. So anyone who want to post comments saying "Sorry" and other nonsense like that can feel free to leave your favourite joke instead.
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