Guest Post of Complete Havoc and Mayhem
My SITS tribe sistah-friend Stacey, from Havoc and Mayhem was supposed to guest post here yesterday, but there's this whole thing where I'm lazy and I totally don't stay on top of my schedule the same way I can stay on top of a case of Pepsi. At the same time, there was this whole birth thing going on, so I'm certain Stacey will forgive my tardiness. She's even letting me guest post on her blog, which feels a lot like spreading some sort of disease of inappropriate behavior. I'm like STDS for blogs
And on that note . . . . Stacey!
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You know those commercials for facial cleanser on tv? The ones where the woman with the perfect complexion is in a perfectly white thick terry cloth robe, in her perfectly clean bathroom, with her hair perfectly held back from her face in a perfect knot or perfectly smoothed back by a headband, no random hairs sticking up in little tufts making her look like a guest alien on Star Trek. She has one of those beautiful glass bowl sinks that look gorgeous but takes up all your available counter space. It's perfectly clean, no water spots or toothpaste smears, is on a smooth equally perfectly clean counter top. She gets the tube for cleanser from some unspecified location (can't tell where but there is no counter space for it so there must be a hanging shelf somewhere), washes her face and leans forward, cups her hands full of water and in one perfect motion, splashes the cleaners off of her face. No water splashes on the counter or gets in her hair or dribbles down her arms, soaking the robe. Then you see her with her hair down, dabbing at her face with a thick white towel.
Why can't I ever wash my face like that?
Even considering that I have no bathrobe, and my sink is molded into my 15 year old bathroom counter, with water & toothpaste stains, and none of my towels are white (and many are not thick) and my hair does stick up around my headband so I do resemble an extra in the Star Wars canteena scene (especially once I get the cleanser on my face) and lets not even discuss the perfect complexion issue. I really thought turning 40 meant acne was long long behind me.
You'd think after a few decades practice I would be able to splash water on my face without it going all over the counter, the floor and myself. Really. Cup water, lean forward, bring hands to face at full horizontal position.
But no.
Water runs down my arms and onto my nightshirt. Watery cleanser splashes up over the headband and into my hair making it sticky. Bits of cleanser land on the counter, there to harden & eventually become part of the stains & patterns that decorate it. The water & cleanser get in my eyes making me grope around blindly for a washcloth I then have to wet before I can finally wipe my face clean and I emerge sputtering and damp all over from the experience, with a bathroom I now have to clean.
Madison Avenue, always finding more ways to make me feel inadequate.
