Matt and I were playing Scene It last night, the video game about movie trivia. Normally, Matt kills me during this game, but somehow, I completely lucked out last night.
Question: Kate Winslet starred in Sense & Sensibility, true or false?
Matt: False.
Me: True. (Correct)
Question: Who was the lead actress in the Pride & Prejudice 2005 remake?
Matt: What?
Me: Keira Knightley (Correct)
Question: Who had Tom Cruise at Hello?
Matt: I don't get it.
Me: Renee Zellweger (Correct)
Question: In Pride and Prejudice, how many daughters are in the Bennet family?
Matt: How are we supposed to know that?!
Me: Five (Correct)
Matt: Alright, I know for a fact that you've never read that book!
Me: Saw the movie once, like fifteen years ago or something. I think.
Matt: Then how do you know the answer?
Me: It's Jane Austen.
Matt: And?
Me: And I have a vagina.
Matt: What's that got anything to do with it?
Me: It's basically pre-programmed information. My vagina came with Jane Austen 2.0 and Meg Ryan Movies version 3.5
I've also successfully downloaded Hugh Grant 1.6, Molly Ringwald Widget and the latest Twilight 4.5 (Team Edward update).
While the vagina is programmed with many helpful features, it's competitor hardware the penis does have several functions that just aren't backwards compatible for the vagina. The penis, like many hardware systems perform their tasks VERY well, but it does not have the ability to download new software.
Case in point:
Matt: Honey, will you go make me a sammich?
Me: Why can't you do it?
Matt: Cause I have a penis.
Me: Hey babe, will you load the dishwasher?
Matt: I can't.
Me: Why not?
Matt: Cause I have a penis.
The penis is apparently also incapable of downloading programs such as laundry 2.6, salad eating 4.0, and any chick flick torrents unless prompted with rewards. I think it's made by Apple.
19 comments:
You had me rolling on the floor hun with this post..... so true.... but i love apple.... :P
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Truer words have never been spoken! :) Hilarious post! Thank you for making me laugh this afternoon! :)
Love this! I am going to have to remember this the next time my husband and I have a conversation like this.
Hahahaha, hilarious! and so true :)
Well, but the vagina is a recepticle -- where as the penis has to FIND a place to plug in -- all sorts of things can just be plugged into us.
It's all mechanics.
{giggling}
The FUNNIEST post I have read in a long, long time. I was laughing so hard that I had to read it to my hubby and he loved it too.
This TOTALLY cracked me up!
OMG -- LOL. Fantastic, milady. True, too. I kick ass at Scene It too.
ahahaha! I'm literally crying right now! Oh that was awesome...
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Truer words have never been spoken! :) Hilarious post! Thank you for making me laugh this afternoon! :)
You had me rolling on the floor hun with this post..... so true.... but i love apple.... :P
Well, but the vagina is a recepticle -- where as the penis has to FIND a place to plug in -- all sorts of things can just be plugged into us.
It's all mechanics.
{giggling}
i'm chuckling as i read this post and the hubby peeked, saying, "you okay?" "yes," i replied.
i downloaded the funny file...
Love this! I am going to have to remember this the next time my husband and I have a conversation like this.
Wow. So true.
Gold. Pure gold! lmao
hahahaha! Awesome freaking post! So hilarious, and I'm about to have coworkers wondering why I am sitting at my desk giggling :)
Hahahaha, hilarious! and so true :)
you crack.me.up.
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