If You're Going to Watch Disney, Do It Right!

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This week SITS is hosting a Back to Blogging campaign to get everyone back in a blogging and commenting routine. Todays challenge was to re-upload a post that not many people read or commented on, but you wish had. Honestly, this post cracked me up. Cause it's real. Like very nearly word for word of a conversation that took place in the car with my husband late one night... It was originally titled "Children's Movies are the Number 3 Leading Cause of Divorce".



Matt: 'Where the Wild Things Are' came out.

Me: I don't know if I want to see that.

Matt: Why not?

Me: Because it's one of the best children's books of all time. And so was 'Bridge to Terabithia'.

Matt: You loved that movie.

Me: It was okay. I didn't like it as much as the book.

Matt: That reminds me. I hate you. You knew about the end of that movie and you didn't warn me or anything. I was like, "Hey do you wanna go see 'Bridge to Terabithia'?" and you went, " . . . . . . yes?" Cause you knew and you didn't say anything!

Me: To be fair, I totally gave you fair warning about 'Marley & Me'.

Matt: Not the same thing.

Me: Marley & Me would have been way worse!

Matt: No it wouldn't have. I've seen 'Old Yeller'.

Me: There's a big difference.

Matt: No there's not! Watching 'Old Yeller' is like getting stabbed in the face. 'Old Yeller' is what children's nightmares are made of. 'Old Yeller' is for little boys, what 'Bambi' is for little girls.

Me: I never got sad watching 'Bambi'.

Matt: That's cause apparently you don't have a heart!

Me: No I mean the mom dies and I was kinda like, "So what? Mine died too, you gonna cry about it?"

Matt: Yeah plus 'Bambi' had that bad ass stag for a Dad.

Me: He was totally bad ass.

Matt: He was a stag pimp. He was like, "Yo Thumper, where's my money!?" And smacks him in the face. He hoof slaps a bitch. He was like if James Earl Jones was a deer, that would be him.

Me: James Earl Jones isn't a deer. He's a lion.

Matt: Stupid effing Lion King.

Me: Do. Not. Insult. 'The Lion King'.

Matt: You mean "MacBeth Light"?

Me: Don't start with me. You know better than to insult 'The Lion King'!

Matt: Did you know that 'The Lion King' is a total rip off of a Japanese movie about a lion named Kimba?

Me: That's stupid. The name similarities don't make sense. 'Simba' is Swahili for "lion". No relation to the Japanese movie. Besides, lions in Japan . . . doesn't make sense. Lions are in Africa.

Matt: This movie did take place in Africa.

Me: Why were there Japanese people in Africa? You're not making any sense!

Matt: . . . . . You can't be talked to right now.

Me: You know what I never understood? How like there's only two adult male lions in the whole movie, and yet it's established that Simba and Nala are the same age. Who is Nala's Dad? For that matter, who's the Dad of the little girl deer that Bambi falls for? Wasn't there only one stag in the whole movie? There is some serious polygamous secrets going on inside the Disney vault!

Matt: Well, 'The Lion King' was a stupid effing cartoon.

Me: You're a stupid cartoon!!

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Update: Sorry to my more conservative readers. I'm aware an F-bomb was dropped. I would have given you warning, but it would have ruined the flow. Plus, I don't really warn people in real life when I drop them. I should work on that. Maybe I'll wear a sign.

Update x2: So apparently The Lion King does have a bunch of similarities to some Japanese movie called 'Kimba the White Lion'. But I maintain my loyalty to TLK. Plus I still sing songs from Simba's Pride like on a daily basis.

Update x3: A commenter wanted me to point out that The Lion King is not MacBeth light, it's Hamlet light. Which means Matt is terrible with Disney trivia and Shakespeare. 

Thanks to the SITS girls for this challenge this week. And thanks to the SITS Back to Blogging sponsors: Standards of Excellence, Westar Kitchen and Bath, and Florida Builder Appliances.