When Do the Rest of Us Get Our Own Kindly Asian Man?

Tweet

I'm going to tell you a secret.

I hate going to the movies. It might have something to do with the fact that I'm cheap I prefer to spend my time watching Extreme Makeover Home Edition learning things that will be beneficial to my life and like feeding the homeless and stuff. Either way, it's a rare situation where I enjoy going to the movie theatre instead of being dragged kicking and screaming wondering why it's necessary to see Spider-Man at a midnight showing. Isn't Spider-Man going to be there in the morning?

I digress.

On occasion, I will look over to my sweet husband and say the words, "Let's catch a movie." At which point half of his brain prepares for whatever new chick flick has inspired me to dish out the thousands of dollars it takes to buy tickets and a third of a bucket of popcorn. The other half of his brain is wondering if I've had some sort of stroke and he might be able to convince me to watch whatever new zombiesuperherocomicbookandoralien movie was released most recently.

A few months ago I saw a trailer



And I remember saying something like, "Will Smith's kid in a Jackie Chan movie. Stupid." Cause if I'm anything, it's open minded.

And then the words "The Karate Kid" flashed on the screen and the 80's child within me started screaming

with glee remembering a time when I once had enough balance to do a cartwheel and that would certainly qualify me to learn karate.

It didn't take long to talk Matt into going.

Can I just say that, for me, the movie was beyond awesome. I loved it. Jaden Smith is actually a really amazing actor. Like remember when Dakota Fanning was little and everyone ooed and awed over her? It's kinda like that. Only without a strange teen rebellion involving lesbian make out sessions with Bella from Twilight. So far.

Jaden Smith has such similar mannerisms to his Dad that when you watch the movie, you're thinking, "This is just like watching Will Smith except I'm not secretly wondering if there's a nude scene later on." It's very freeing.

Another secret? I like the new Karate Kid more than the old ones. Why? Because this one seems a little more realistic. The kid actually trained and learned kung fu for the movie.

I remember being a kid and watching the original and thinking to myself that Ralph Macchio always looked like he was constipated when he was fighting. And he whined and complained in every single movie. He learned karate, nothing else. All after school special moments in the original movies were forgotten by the sequels and the stupid kid was off doing something else which would somehow endanger himself, his girlfriend, his family or his teacher . . . and would certainly bring great dishonor to his family.


This movie. Totally worth the 4 tons of gold we had to fork over in order to buy our tickets.

I only had two problems with the entire movie.

1. During the credits they played this really cute song that was so catchy and I was singing it myself until I found out that it was sung by Justin Bieber. Okay, I'm still singing it. But mark my words, this kid will be dressing like a whore just like Hannah Montana soon enough.

2. Like all movies of this nature, I left the theatre wondering where in my life I had missed my opportunity to have a kindly asian maintenance man teach me self discipline and how "not" to fight. If I had some old guy to teach me kung fu, I would now be able to climb the stairs without collapsing into a puddle of sweat at the top. I'd also probably be doing laundry or something else that I'm totally procrastinating. Cause kung fu teaches you self discipline and how not to be totally lazy.

Thanks a lot Jackie Chan. You're setting a whole new generation up to be disappointed when they find out that their maintenance men are old, fat white guys.