Friday, June 18, 2010

June 19th, 1986

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June 19th, 1986 was supposed to be a good day.

Lisa Crew had a hair appointment with her sister and afterward she was going to take her two year old daughter over to a friends house to have dinner. Perhaps later into the night they'd all go out to the local amusement park and spend the night riding the rides and eating bad park food.

The youngest of eight children, Lisa had turned twenty-one the year before but had already been living the life of an adult for several years. When she was eighteen years old, Lisa and her high school sweetheart found themselves with a surprise baby on the way. Born a month premature in the spring of eighty-four, the newlyweds did their best to create a family. But sometimes the happily ever after doesn't come out right the first time. By the time their baby was two years old, the couple were divorced.

Lisa wasn't going to let anything stand in her way though. She was already in college studying to become a elementary school teacher. She was a young single mother. She was unstoppable.


Always positive, Lisa had the energy of a ten year old. 4'11 and weighing no more than 110 pounds, she was working on becoming a female body builder. Stories of the events in her life would be passed on for years to come. The time she broke into her ex-boyfriends house by sneaking through his cat door. She once took on an abusive boyfriend of her sisters. He - being over six feet tall and weighing over 200 lbs - was arrested in her stead. The cops didn't believe that a feisty little redhead under five feet tall had beat him senseless.

June 19th, 1986

After leaving their home, Lisa and her daughter headed out in their tiny red car. Doug Smith - a drug addict - was driving at the same time, under an extreme amount of alcohol and cocaine in his system. When the cars collided, Lisa's daughter was tossed from her car seat under the dashboard where both of the two year old's legs and pelvic bone were broken. Lisa - crushed by the weight of the steering wheel - reached across the dashboard to shield her daughters eyes from falling glass.

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No one knew whether Lisa died in the car, the helicopter that lifted her into the sky, or at the hospital where she was rushed into the emergency room. All they knew was that June 19th, 1986 a family lost a daughter, a sister, a cousin, an aunt. A man lost the love of his life and any chance at reconciliation. Friends lost a light in the darkness.


 And a two year old little girl was left without her mother.

The world was now less perfect. 

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Lisa's friends and family were called one at a time and given news that would change their lives, test their faith and ultimately they were left in a state of shock and horrific confusion.

Lisa's ex-husband had been called at a friends house and given the message second hand, "Your wife is dead and your baby's in the hospital."

Lisa's funeral was held days later, and her two year old little girl wasn't even able to attend. Strapped into a body cast after surgeries to mend her shattered body, all she knew was that her Mom wasn't there anymore.


 Doug Smith was charged with vehicular homicide, driving under the influence of alcohol and drugs, intent to use and possession of drugs and drug paraphernalia.

A murderer was sentenced to only five years in prison.

When released in 1991, Doug Smith was arrested again for vehicular homicide, this time killing an entire family. After receiving another mild sentence for his crimes, he took his own life in prison.

No remorse for the lives he had taken, or for the mother he had stolen from a child.

I know all of this, because my mother - Lisa Margaret Sanders Crew - was murdered June 19th, 1986 by a drunk and drugged driver. And twenty five years later, so many people still don't seem to care. They drink, they use drugs, and then they drive. A large percentage of the ones who do get caught, ultimately get away with it.

Former Miss America, Jennifer Berry said, "The fact remains that drunk driving is 100 percent preventable, yet it continues as a plague of human behavior that we as a society continue to tolerate."

I've outlived my mother by five years, as I recently turned 26. Every year the week of June 19th, I honor my mother. I give myself a moment to cry, to be angry. All other days I remember, and I am thankful that my life was spared.

Pains in my body still plague me from my once broken bones. Other health problems caused by the collision continue to rise as the years move on, though the emotional scars are more apparent. And though I was raised by a wonderful Grandmother, and loving aunts, nothing replaces a Mother in a child's life.

Nothing.

Don't drink and drive.

I've been asked in previous years to pass on this message on a larger scale. Please take a moment to spread the message with me. Feel free to take a button below and post it on your blog or website, pass along the story (and link back here) and sign your name to pledge not to drink and drive!




Please Pledge to Never Drive Under the Influence

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Dear Readers: I get emails and comments often about my mother and your words are so kind and loving. And while your words mean the world to me, they would mean more if they continued beyond my corner of the world. Please spread the message. Add this link to Facebook, blog about it, post the button on your sidebars and tweet the following message:

"Please RT @untypicallyjia  Remember #LisaCrew - Don't Drink and Drive "

22 comments:

KarmaPearl said...

Your mother sounds like she was an amazing person. I'm so sorry that someone took her from you. *hugs*

Drea said...

Your story is so heartbreaking. I know myself how hard it is living without a mother. God bless girlie.

Gina said...

Keep spreading the word. It needs to be spread, and as horrific as this story is, people need to hear things like this. It is 100% preventable, and those who commit this atrocious crime are behaving completely out of immaturity and selfishness. Well written.

Kristin said...

What a heartbreaking story. Thanks for sharing it and getting it out there.

Sassy said...

You did such an excellent job writing your mother's story! She sounds like a really amazing woman! I'm so sorry you have experienced this kind of loss. I think you are just as amazing as your mother and a very strong woman!

Java said...

Oh my goodness! This brought tears to my eyes! How awful for you to have to go through life without your Mom. I am so sorry! I'm sure she is starring down from up above with so much pride at the beautiful daughter that she brought into the world. You are one special girl! Thank you for your story! I will be following you and seeing what the world has to offer you...or should I say, what you have to offer this world!

((hugs))

Java

nevergrowingold.blogspot.com

cheri said...

your mom is a beautiful woman. you have painted her for us so beautifully. i'm sorry for your loss.

*hugs*

-K said...

Wow, thank you for sharing this.

Steph said...

Your mother's so beautiful. You can see just in the pictures how full of life, and fun, and happiness she was. It seems kind of silly to say about pictures, but just from them, I feel like I can see so much of her in you. I'm so sorry for your loss. I think it's incredible that you use your grief and pain to try to prevent others from suffering, or the causing, the same tragedy that you've been living with. You're amazingly strong, and poised, and your story always touches my heart so deeply.

Nutty Hamster Chick said...

Jia, I found your blog a few weeks ago. And I am incredibly addicted. I didn't get into the Harry Potter craze until book 4. I read all four of them in one week. Then I had to wait and wait for the next three. I kind of wished I had waited until I could have read them all. I am not a patient person, despite the many opportunities to learn patience that the Lord has blessed me with. Bottom line, I feel the same way about your love story. I got to read the first 18 installments in one day and am now anxiously awaiting the rest of the story.

Too say I am sorry about your mother sounds so trite. I had a foster daughter I planned to adopt for just three months and when they gave her back to her birth mother, it all most killed me. It is somehow so comforting to read of others going through loss and geif. I think one of the hardest things is the fact that life goes on. How can everyone else just go on being happy when such horrible things have happened. It has been almost 14 years since my loss. My month to loose it, is October. I totally get that.

I am very impressed with how you are coping and I am so happy you do have Matt.

And so even though my loss in not the same as yours, or perhaps as many different losses, I do get it, and sometimes that is the most helpful thing, to just have someone understand the terribleness of it all.

Bless you, and good news, July is just around the corner.

Untypically Jia said...

God bless all of you wonderful, wonderful friends.

cornnut32 said...

i pledge to NEVER drink and drive! i wish i had something better to say to you besides i'm sorry about your mother, but it is said with complete sincerity.

Untypically Jia said...

Believe me CN, it's enough.

Elaine said...

This was an amazing story and so personal. Thank you for sharing with us. No one should tolerate this behavior in society.

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Lisa @ Pulsipher Page said...

What a beautiful tribute to your mother while also showing the realities of choosing to drive drunk and under the influence. I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm confident that she would be so proud of you.

Jackie said...

Oh you sweetheart. Crying for you today.

That first picture is stunning.

sara said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. I very nearly lost my sister to a drunk driver. He was so drunk he didn't even know he had been in a wreck until the police knocked on the door to arrest him. He served no jail time at all. Insane!

JessRaquel said...

Your mother was so beautiful! One of my best friends mom was killed by a driver who was drunk and on drugs just after we had graduated high school. It was horrible and I never want to see anyone go through the pain she did when she lost her mom. Good for you for passing on this story.

JamericanSpice said...

This is so heartbreaking. Your mother was a lovely woman. I'm sorry she was taken from you in such a terrible way.

*HUGS*

Lanie said...

Oh my gosh! She was gorgeous. I am so sorry for your loss. You are so blessed that you have had lovely people in your life to share her story with you. I lost my mother last year and you are right. Nothing replaces a mother and it doesn't matter how old you are or how much time has passed. You will always miss her. ~Lanie J.

Nutty Hamster Chick said...

Jia, I found your blog a few weeks ago. And I am incredibly addicted. I didn't get into the Harry Potter craze until book 4. I read all four of them in one week. Then I had to wait and wait for the next three. I kind of wished I had waited until I could have read them all. I am not a patient person, despite the many opportunities to learn patience that the Lord has blessed me with. Bottom line, I feel the same way about your love story. I got to read the first 18 installments in one day and am now anxiously awaiting the rest of the story.

Too say I am sorry about your mother sounds so trite. I had a foster daughter I planned to adopt for just three months and when they gave her back to her birth mother, it all most killed me. It is somehow so comforting to read of others going through loss and geif. I think one of the hardest things is the fact that life goes on. How can everyone else just go on being happy when such horrible things have happened. It has been almost 14 years since my loss. My month to loose it, is October. I totally get that.

I am very impressed with how you are coping and I am so happy you do have Matt.

And so even though my loss in not the same as yours, or perhaps as many different losses, I do get it, and sometimes that is the most helpful thing, to just have someone understand the terribleness of it all.

Bless you, and good news, July is just around the corner.

Drea said...

Your story is so heartbreaking. I know myself how hard it is living without a mother. God bless girlie.

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