HUGE

It's been a while since I've blogged about weight loss. Mostly because I haven't had any. I went through the Flab to Fab 8 week competition, and I came out FAB on the other end of it . . . plus two extra pounds of Jia-goodness.

Being over weight half of my life, I've never had good self esteem. During my teen years I honestly think the only time I ever felt good about myself was when I had a brand new boyfriend, and sometimes even then I felt terrible. I was never the pretty girl - or at least I thought. I always had skinnier friends than me, so I assumed I was obese and ugly . . . and those feelings made me think that the two were mutually exclusive. You could not be fat and pretty. It didn't work like that.

I've grown since then and thankfully I believe the media is trying to help. There are very beautiful big boned actresses out there, but with all the weight loss shows (and believe me, I'm an addict too), people aren't understanding that it shouldn't be about weight and image. It should be about health. 

I know people who are bigger than me and rock sexy like no ones business! They can pull a pin up pose faster than Tyra Banks, and look better doing it! They love themselves.

I know people who are bigger than me and they are healthy. Genetics do play an important part.

I know people who are skinnier than me, and hate their bodies.

I know people who are skinnier than me, and they have serious health problems.

It's not about weight. It's about health.

And that includes a healthy self esteem.

TV isn't good about that.

So there's this new show on ABC Family called "Huge". It stars Nikki Blonsky from Hairspray fame and is about overweight kids at a fat camp. I'll admit, I never went to fat camp. Mostly because looking back now, I wasn't overweight. I was curvy and voluptuous, but because the rest of my circle of friends weren't, I assumed I was filled with lard.

The show immediately dives into the stigmas of both being over weight, and losing the weight. Campers begin their summer by posing for a before shot in bathing suits. In protest, our main character does a strip tease as she removes her clothing.

My favourite line of the show is when the campers go to their cabins and begin unloading their suitcases. Their counselor does the typical, "Give me anything that you have that's edible." And goes through the list. Candy, food, gum, etc.

Counselor: What's that?
Amber: A toothpick.
Counselor: Is it flavored?
Will: It's wood. It's wood flavored.
Counselor: Oh, well I guess that's alright.

One thing I immediately loved about the show was that it showed that all fat is not created equal. Even when you separate the overweight from the rest of society, cliques are created, the pyramid of popular is reassembled, and still, the skinny (even among the big) comes out on top.

It breaks my heart though. One of the characters, known as the skinniest girl at camp (who is so beautiful and doesn't need to lose weight), says she has been dieting since she was ten. I have a lot of hope for this show. It seems to be in the middle. Not anti-overweight, but still pro health. In the first episode alone it's showing the problems surrounding teenagers and weight. It's not about health for them. Ever. It's always about image. And 90% of those images are wrong!

Much like the fat camp cinema of old, there is food being snuck in, and like a drug deal, cash is exchanged for goods making a slight mockery of sugar addiction, but at the same time, subtly revealing the lengths a person will go to to sate said addiction.

One of the campers mentions something that did hit home. He talks about how he always knew that he was fat, but there was this kid at his school that was known for being the fat kid, and he always said, "At least I'm not him." Until one day, they stood in front of the mirror at the same time and he realised that he's not just as fat as the other kid, but he might be even bigger. I'm ashamed to admit that I've done this. I've walked the mall and said, "Well at least I don't look like her." Only to wonder if I really do. I think Biggest Loser really helped open my eyes to that. Seeing people up on that scale, showing their weight and their nearly bare bodies. I'd say, "At least I don't look like her," until her weight comes up and she weighs less than I do.

Do I look like that? It makes you think.

So the show is tackling important issues like health, self image, and even going so far as to touch on eating disorders. I think it has potential. But here are my concerns. 'Secret Life of the American Teenager' had potential. 'Secret Life' is an ABC show about a girl who gets pregnant. The show began talking about sex and teenagers and each episode ended with the cast talking about abstinence, protection and talking about sex with parents. But now? The show is just another teen drama. Nearly all of the characters (even the formerly abstinent onces) have had sex, are having sex, or are promoting sex. There has been not one, but at least three pregnancies in the show, and issues are no longer being tackled. Ratings must be down so they seem to be upping the drama. The point of the show has been completely lost.

I hope 'Huge' doesn't follow in those same steps.

So on a not so completely unrelated note . . . I'm wondering if I should start blogging about my own individual weight loss / health finding / self esteem building . . . . journey . . . thing. Should I blog it here, or do y'all think I should start a new blog specific for it?

Let me know in the comments please.