While "Road Rage" isn't the official term, there is truly something special about riding in a car with my husband. Matt's not the kind of guy that will flip you off in traffic. Because that won't go anywhere. Because that's not a story he can tell his friends later. And it's not something that the other passengers in the car can really appreciate.
What Matt does while driving is what a comedian does on stage when they're looking for the "shock" effect in a joke. The kind of laugh where you laugh because you can't believe what just happened.
Here are a few examples:
- Matt likes to wink at truckers. This used to bother me a lot until I saw him do it for the first time. The reaction on a big mean looking redneck trucker is worth more than gold.
- Matt likes to shout things at random pedestrians (who according to him, DO NOT have the right of way - unless he at the time, IS the pedestrian).
- Matt likes to bark at families who are taking walks together.
- If you ride too close to our bumper, Matt will slow down to at least ten miles below the speed limit.
- Matt like to instruct drivers as to how many people they will eventually kill, should they continue driving on whatever drugs caused them to cut him off.
- Matt likes to shout cat calls (like screaming, "Hey baby!") out the passenger window and then look away, leaving whichever passenger taking the blame (usually Josh).
- Matt likes to brag. Case in point, today . . .
Earlier in the day, Matt changed our car insurance policy to something much better than we previously had. Other drivers needed to know this information.
When a driver cut across the street into the medium as we were driving . . .
Matt: I'll T-Bone you, bitch! I've got insurance!
Me: You being more responsible sometimes worries me.
10 comments:
My hubby has awful road rage. I, on the other hand, am a perfect angel on the road. HAHAHAHAHA! (But seriously, he is way worse than me!) :)
Super funny...and sounding strangely familiar...does he also like to be the first out when the light turns green in a four lane highway? I HAVE to be first, it doesn't even matter if it gives my passengers whiplash! LOL
Oh Jia. Thank you so much for this. I needed a laugh tonight, and this gave me quite a few. Driving with Matt sounds hilarious. Then I clicked the link that referenced him being the pedestrian, and laughed even harder. I will now forever make the connection between femurs and lemurs. That makes my life a little more awesome. Take care, I'll talk to you soon.
hahahahaha he sounds like me, I have terrible road rage! I gave you an award today, congrats!
how did it use to bother you that he winks if the first time you saw him do it you understood why he did....hmm....
sounds like he likes to piss other people off when he is driving...which is NOT good
Haha hilarious! Although I don't know if I would actually want to be in the car with him while he's doing this. I would die of embarassment. lol
Lol I actually know a few drivers like that! My fiancee Kensei is one of them!
i used to yell "kill that damn person/animal!" i still do, which is why i dont drive...
this is pretty funny, though. poor josh...
Well they don't call it "road tickles". I've found that Albuquerque drivers are already angry. At least I can have a laugh every now and then.
One of the best moments was when Matt winked at a trucker to freak him out, and the trucker winked back! Matt stopped laughing and then immediately the trucker burst into laughter. It's funny when people participate.
Bwahahahahahahaha, he is seriously funny.
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