Untypically in Love: Josh

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Read the full story, chapter by chapter here.

Some names and events have been changed to protect the identity of certain individuals.

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Chapter Five
Josh

"Jia, this is Matt."

Megaera's words echoed in my head, and for a split second I didn't really understand them. She was gesturing toward the gorgeous boy sitting in front of me, the boy I had most recently put an emotional claim on. For heaven's sake I was already mentally planning what our children would look like! I took a split second to look back at Megaera, trying to read her mind and make a genuine guess on how much she really liked the boy who was now positioned between us. Her eyes were glowing, her grin spread across her face, braces reflecting the fluorescent lights of the high school cafeteria.

She liked him just enough that I couldn't.

My heart sunk. I had to play best friend now. We women have a rule. You don't steal your best friends crush. As reality sunk in I began to add up the many reasons why it wouldn't work out between Matt and I. Megaera was tall where I was short. She was super model thin where I was curvy. She had dark, gorgeous brown hair and I was a pale little redhead whose roots were strangely coming in a dirty blonde.

We sat down at the table and listened as Matt told a story that for some reason had me locked in. Anime would of course eventually bore me to tears, but when he spoke I was hypnotized. Megaera clung onto every word with the rest of the table. If one thing could be said, it was that Matt knew how to hold the attention of a crowd. When he spoke he would give each individual a moment of attention and every so often, his eyes would meet mine and he would linger long enough to give me heart palpitations. On occasion I would glance over to Megaera realizing that she was looking at him the same way he was looking at me. My inappropriate thoughts were rising, and the guilt came right with it. I needed an immediate distraction before Megaera figured me out.

"You live across the street from me," a voice said. I turned and looked directly across the table. Matt's tall skinny friend was speaking to me. "I'm Josh."

He was sweet. "I'm Jia." I replied, and felt myself blush.

It would be months before I even got to speak to Matt or Josh again. I was on my way to Utah dreaming of the sexy boy with a goatee, his tall adorable friend, and worrying that my most recent ex might have stuck a shot gun in his mouth in order to cement his Kurt Cobain attitude. It was a long winter break.

Months passed. They seemed endless as teenage days often were, though now I can't imagine the days going by any faster. Megaera went through two more cheating boyfriends by April, and I had endured an embarrassing proposal at the winter dance, a broken heart as well as a black eye from an overly romantic boyfriend with an anger management issue. Megaera and I were both in need of a good man and a serious change.
 
Like the good friend that I was, I approached Matt with multiple questions one day, firing at random.

"Are you single?"  I asked him.

"Umm . . . yes."  He replied, probably wondering why I had interrupted his lunch.

"Because Megaera's single now too you know."  Matt looked confused.

"See, she's breaking up with Eric like right now." Emily, another of Megaera's friends said as we began to corner him.

"You should ask her out."  I insisted. I wanted Megaera to be happy of course, and as a plus it meant that I would get to see Matt a whole lot more.

"Alright,"   He agreed. "I'll ask her out later."

"Why not now?" I asked. After all, Megaera had been waiting months for him.

"Because,"  He said. "I like to give a girl time to grieve over her past relationship. There's a respect that needs to be kept."

I was in awe of him. He was a gentleman too. "What like two weeks?"  I asked.

"Mmm, more like a day. I'll do it tomorrow."  He said casually.

Megaera was overjoyed at the fact that she had spent less than two days mourning her relationship with Eric, and when the second day had come to and end her greatest wish had been fulfilled when Matt asked her to be his. I was full of jealousies of course, especially since she had finally won the prize we both had set our hearts on. Certainly I knew that I wouldn't get him, not without her acceptance of course, so the best thing to do was to step back, and let my best friend be happy.

Of course, that left me in the dark. Quite literally sometimes as Megaera would come to school in the morning with a wicked smile on her face causing me to wonder what exactly she and Matt were doing whenever I wasn't around. That wasn't nearly as bad as when I was around and forced to observe their public affection. I was even there for their first kiss. The three of us had gone to see a school performance of Oedipus, and sitting there in the back row I watched the boy I secretly wanted share his first kiss with my best friend.

It was that night that I swore I would turn away from them both and set my eyes on something . . . someone else.

Josh, the boy next door had quickly grown into one of my closest friends. Josh and I would roll our eyes and walk away anytime Matt and Megaera would engage in their public displays of affection. I had actually become very bitter towards Matt, though it wasn't his fault. After all he didn't know that I secretly adored him, and the mere idea of seeing him kiss Megaera had me wanting to claw at both of their faces.

"Hey Jia, you seen Megaera?"  Matt said calling out to me one morning.

"Don't know, I forgot her leash." I bitterly commented and then walked away.

The longer Matt dated Megaera, the closer I became to Josh. One day I felt a pinch in my stomach as I looked over observing him draw in the cafeteria. I watched him the whole forty minutes because it was better than watching Megaera and Matt play kissy face. I soon became enamored with him. Josh was sweet, quiet, had an odd sense of humor, and could always make me smile. His innocence was endearing.

"Josh, I have something to ask you, but I'm really nervous about it."  I began my perfect played up line that so easily worked on another guy months earlier.

"Oh yeah?"  He asked as the two of us began walking home.

"Yeah, see, I'm gonna ask you out, but I'm really nervous about it."  I said with a coy smile, waiting for his inevitable grin, followed by the acceptance nod. He'd then reach over and take my hand as we walked home. He'd walk me - his new girlfriend - to my house, kiss me on my doorstep and everything would be right in the world again.

"Huh."  He said.

"Huh?"  I repeated him, slightly confused. What did he mean "huh?"

"Well, I just don't think we know each other that well."  He commented. "Hey, I've got to get going." He left me standing on the curb with a confused look on my face.

"Huh!?"

Days passed and my fury and confusion were fed on equal terms. No one had ever said "no" to me. I mean sure I had broken up with a few guys, but no one had ever said "no" to being asked out. My confidence quickly dropped. I became consumed with Josh, determined to win him over. We didn't know each other well enough?! Well he was certainly about to know me!

The two of us passed letters in the hallways, on the bus, and in the evening I would sneak out to my mailbox where another letter would be waiting for me from Josh. We asked each other questions about relationships, about love, about life. I soon found out that Josh had never had a girlfriend before me, not officially at least as he wasn't even allowed to date.

After a week or so of constant communication through the written word, we knew each other pretty well. He had in fact become my closest confidante and a dear friend. I told him everything. Confessed my deepest darkest secrets in letters, and he in turn became my friendly ear, my shoulder to lean on, my support. Josh had been a goal for me. The prize at the end. My way of avoiding being the third wheel to Matt and Megaera's relationship. I never once thought I'd really end up loving him.

But I did love him.

Ignoring that fact now would not only be a lie, but it wouldn't put things in true perspective. While my love for Josh was not eternal, was not passionate or lust worthy, it was there. He was sweet to me, good to me. When I had been an object to other boys, I had been a person to him. Our love would endure many things over the course of many years, even now as I write this story he's a big part of my life. While Matt was the unreachable boy-of-my-dreams-and-love-of-my-life, Josh had gone from first love to treasured friend.

All those years ago I couldn't imagine how much things would change. Especially that day.

During lunch, Josh passed a note to me under the table and I gladly took it. Inside it read, "Does your offer still stand?"  I smiled and without a single word being spoken, we were a couple.

Chapter Six>>>