Mothers. Something I am pretty much an expert on.
This Mother's Day there will be many mothers in the world celebrating with their children. Breakfast in bed or brunch. Handmade cards and macaroni necklaces to celebrate women who gave birth to you.
But there's more to being a mother than a few hours of hard labor. I know because I've had many influential mothers in my life, whether they were my own or not. They have influenced me in ways that they might not even realize.
Because of them I know what a being a mother really means.
Being a mother means sacrificing a career to raise your granddaughter. Sometimes long after your own children are grown. It means sacrificing retirement for elementary school plays. It means skipping vacations to stay home and make apple pies in the summer. It means walking with her to school in the cold early mornings despite aching muscles and arthritis. It means defending her. Loving her. Being her best friend. It means living through health problems perhaps long after you ever should have.
It means passing on a legacy.
Being a mother means working two jobs in order to buy Christmas presents, clothes and food. It means being the one to teach and discipline to your spoiled niece. It means yelling in frustration sometimes when some lessons don't stick. It means being the bad guy when no one else can be.
It means being the tough one. The one who sticks it out when no one else will. It means teaching a twenty year old girl how to clean her house when she gets married because she never listened to you growing up. It means laughing with her when she doesn't get it right the first time.
Being a mother means driving eight hundred miles to pick up your niece to raise. It means putting everything on the line in order to keep families together. It means being the one to pick up the pieces when everything falls apart. It means trips to the beach, amusement parks and family vacations, just to make people happy.
It means dealing with an overload of teenage hormones when you should be relaxing after a hard days work. It means tough talks, emotional overloads and occasionally dropping the f-bomb in order to make a point. It means knowing what's best when no one else does.
It means being the rock. The foundation. The constant support. The strength and the soul.
Being a mother means being an example. It means your needs often come last. It means standing up for what's right when the rest of the world pushes down on you. It means jumping into a fight to protect your six year old sister who got punched in the face. It means long nights of watching Care Bears and playing My Little Pony. It means watching as your Barbie dolls get their heads ripped off because you were asked to share.
It means occasionally admitting that you need help. It means accepting help when it's offered. It means smiling through the darkness and bringing light to others. It means homemade cookies, ginger bread houses, and happy family traditions.
Being a mother means taking control when no one else can. It means opening your home to your teenage cousin during the rough hormonal transitional year. It means enforcing rules where there were none before. It means sticking to your convictions to set a good example.
It means taking all of her stuff when she brings home bad grades. It means grounding her when she comes home late. It means loaning her your old prom dress when she has nothing to wear to the jr high dance. It means girl time, movies, dieting together, and laughing over similar obsessive traits. It means showing that a mother can be a friend.
Being a mother means growing up fast.
It means putting the well being of your child above everything else in the world and standing up against others who are ready and willing to put you down. It means letting others see the light in your eyes. It means taking pictures of your expanding waistline with a smile on your face because of the gift that God has given you.
It means letting your big sister share in your happiness. It means late night texts talking about potential baby names. It means jokes over lunch. Reminiscing about growing up, and plans for the future.
Being a mother means admitting difficulties but pushing through them anyways. It means sacrificing personal time for your children. It means hosting family get togethers and making sure everyone else is having a good time.
It means putting family first always, and teaching that principle by example. It means soccer games, nap times, pre-school and pregnancy. It means showing others that it can be done.
Being a mother means giving up a son in exchange for a daughter in law. It means keeping it together when you catch her climbing our your sons window at fourteen years old. It means being an example, showing mercy and forgiveness. It means long nights of prayers, extra faith and lots of patience.
It means being a friend when times call for it - and they often do.
Being a mother means giving up youth for motherhood. It means passing along a short temper and red hair. It means doing what you can to keep a family together, and knowing when it's time to let go. It means your daughter's life comes first - even if that means sacrificing your own.
It means being a guardian angel.
To all my mothers, aunts, Grandmothers, cousins, sisters, . . . Happy Mother's Day.
3 comments:
very nicely written, jia. i'm sure every mom in your family, whether she gave birth or not, is blessed to have you in their lives :)
Aww Jessica That was very sweet and of course you made me cry ! I love you !
What an incredibly beautiful post. Happy Mother's Day!
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