Better Off Red

Did you miss me? No? I get it. You all have lives and I'm just this strange chick that pops up on your computer every once in a while to talk about how she never wears a bra in public, lets her pants fall down way too often and names her appliances. To be fair, you people have a problem if you're hanging out with the likes of me.

Seek help.

So remember that whole "I'm giving up the internet" thing? Yeah, guess how long that lasted? A week and a half, which to be fair, is pretty much a record in this house. If the power goes out for a split second and my modem won't reconnect immediately I usually begin having panic attacks. But it's back on. I'm home now. I'm here to soothe your very strange needs for personal information about my life, fart jokes and you complete weirdos who have turned my personal love story into the new Twilight. I expect one of you to start selling "Team Matt" and "Team Josh" shirts any day now.

Speaking of you Untypical Addicts, I'll have the new chapter up within a few days. Making some minor adjustments and digging into my old journals, pulling out long repressed memories.

Want to know what I've done in the meantime without the internet? Well you all know that I've taken inspiration from my dear friend Eva.... I've made a promise to myself this year. To be a happier, a livelier, a not so afraid of the world Jia.

"Blondes are wild, brunettes are true,but you never know just what a redhead will do!"

Well this redhead got back to her roots!

 I'm living again. I'm Jia again. I'm no longer afraid to paint the town (and my hair) bright red! I wear red lipstick because I demand to be noticed. I am no longer going to hide in the corner of the room. I will dance and sing and make a fool out of myself because it's fun! And I will laugh.

I'm still me. I'm digging up the old me, taking the current me and mixing it into some weird concoction (that by all nature probably should contain liquor) and creating a new me. A beautiful me.

Did you know that it takes a lot for me to think that I'm pretty? I have always had such strange self esteem issues, all associated with my weight of course. But the Flab to Fab weight loss is now over. And I gained two pounds. An injured knee and stress will do that to a girl. But you know what I learned during this process? 

I am beautiful. I am gorgeous. I am sexy! 

The other girls in the competition were so pretty, despite the fact that they were in a weight loss challenge. So what was wrong with me? How could all these full figured girls, with beautiful faces and curves pull off sexy but I couldn't?

It's all in the mind. And that roadblock is being torn down.