Having a Close Bond With Your Mother

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It's no secret that I lost my mother when I was very young, but what I don't often talk about is the women who raised me after she died. My aunts. They became my mothers. The one on the left raised me until I was ten years old when the one on the right was tagged and it was her turn to take the reigns.

I have a close bond with the both of them, and it's taken many years and trials to get us to this place in our relationship. Trials, tragedy and humor bring my family close together. I like to think that I brought all three to these poor women in my life who were forced by God (and the legal system) to raise me.

So here are a few things I've learned on keeping a close bond with my "mothers"...

• Never be afraid to call her stupid. Like when she's over 60 years old and landscaping her yard by herself when she could easily call you cause you only live three blocks away.
• When it's a real possibility that you might get spanked for letting your hamsters loose in the house, it's perfectly fine to bring up your real mothers death in hopes of getting off the hook through guilt and pity.
• If she constantly bring up the one time you burned a hole in their carpet when you were fifteen, you should immediately remind her about the one time she tried to shampoo the same carpet with bleach and ammonia and nearly killed you.
• Listen (sometimes for hours) about her latest news regarding her shi-tzus.
• Be a little better than the one daughter who always talks back.
• Be a little worse than the one daughter who is absolutely perfect.
• If she has hip surgery and you go to take care of her, hide her walker and the toilet paper when she's in the bathroom. Laugh a lot.
• Never let her win at card games.
• Be the child that says, "Shit" when she's only 5. Then learn to run really fast. It'll keep her on her toes.
• Record yourself singing songs you make up when you're 13. In ten years, the confiscated tape will provide the old women much amusement. Until they forget where they are.
• Constantly tease her because she can't pronounce "sopapillas". 
• After your married, reveal ALL of the horrible things you did in secret as a teenager.

Along the same lines, here are a few things I've learned on keeping a close bond with my mother-in-law...

• If you can't offer grandchildren, at least offer to share in her obsession with Twilight.
• Don't make fun of her crush on Robert Patinson.
• Remind her that your food contains veal before she eats it and gives you dirty looks.
• Never make chili better than she does. Father-in-law (who will eat 7 bowls and leave her none) will not help you in your cause to build a relationship with her.
• Love her for her innocence.
• Don't joke about the house exploding.
• Occasionally embarrass yourself in front of her.
• Do NOT allow your husband to reveal to her your secret tattoo. If he does, it's fine to tell her about HIS secret tattoo.
• Do allow her to tell the "hilarious" story about how she once caught you climbing out of her sons bedroom window when you were only fifteen.
• Keep a straight face when she traps you in a car ride at age sixteen and gives you "the talk".

Most importantly, love them and never forget important things like birthdays and mother's day . . . until of course they get old enough when they forget how old they are. Like 46. True story.

Thanks to MamaKat's Writer's Workshop Prompt.