I'm Completely Jealous of Her

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It would be easy to say that I would love to have the body of a supermodel in my weight loss and health journey, but that wouldn't be the truth. I don't want scrawney legs and cheek bones that stick out of my face. I don't want to look like the rest of the magazines. I hate the damn magazines.

But do you know who I envy? Who I want to look like?

Her.

15 year old Jia. 

I want her spunky, flirtatious, fearless nature. I want her ability to walk into any store and buy the brightest colors without glancing at the size. I want her tan!

16 year old Jia. 

I want her skinny arms and waist, her pear shaped body and her amazing hair. I want her single chin and her flawless skin. I want her ability to look in a mirror for hours on end finding countless ways to play with her hair and be creative. I want her confidence.

17 year old Jia.

I want her thick and healthy hair. Her bright laughter. Her constant smile.

18 year old Jia

I want her energy and pain free existence. I want her ability to stand on her feet for hours at a time, working hard and feeling proud. I want her close relationship with her friends and her ability to stand up for her beliefs without question. I want her sex appeal.

 19 year old Jia.

I want her zest for life! I want her passion! I want her excitement and energy. I want her love for so much. I want her hopes and dreams. I want her joy.

But I am not going to live in the past, constantly looking back. Because I still want to be 25 year old Jia. I want her experiences, her memories, her wisdom, her thoughts, her depth and creativity. Her strength.

And I want to be 26 year old Jia. I want her ability to run again. I want her energy and her spark. I want her health and her lust for life. I want her confidence, happiness and pure joy!