Meat is Murder: Tasty, Tasty Murder

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I might as well get the shock value stuff out of the way if you're going to continue reading my blog. Matt and I eat meat. Like, often. And we enjoy it. Almost to an extent that it's probably illegal in several states. We have issues with people who get preachy over being Vegetarians, and the Vegetarians sicker, pastier cousin - the Vegan.

We went on a Vegan cleanse once, and while we lost a bit of weight, we also lost a bit of our souls.

It's not that we don't respect people's choices to live their lives the way they want, but there are lines. Those lines are usually drawn because of religion, politics and PETA. If you're Vegan because you want to be healthy, that's fine by me. You've obviously read somewhere that it's healthy, and despite common sense, that's your choice! But don't shove it in my face and try to make me feel bad cause at one time my delicious steak used to be a baby cow. I'd prefer if my steak was a baby cow! Cause then it would be delicious juicy veal!

We do have fun at other peoples expense when it comes to our food choices. Matt's mother refuses to eat veal. We like to describe (in detail) how it tastes and once I even made like 100 veal meatballs and watched her eat a bowl of cereal while the rest of us (including Matt's Dad) chowed down. He must have taken a good scolding for it too, but I bet it was worth it.

 My personal favourite is finding new ways to order steaks 'medium-rare'.

"How would you like your steak?"

• "Mooing."
• "Breathing."
• "If a good vet can fix it."

Matt told me yesterday that apparently there's a Vegan in his class.

 Vegan: I won't eat anything with a face!

Matt: I'd prefer if they left the face on.

Vegan: Ew! You would not!

Matt: Are you kidding? I think it would be fantastic!

Vegan: Don't you care about those poor animals?

Matt: I care about my pets. Farm animals are not pets. They are for eating.

Vegan: The farm industry is cruel to animals!

Matt: And they taste great! If what they're doing makes my food taste better, then by all means.

Vegan: You're a horrible person!

Matt: I wish I could go and kill my own cows.

Vegan: You do not!

Matt: Yes I do. You know what the sad thing is? They used to have a job where someone would take a mallet and smash the cows head in to kill it. Now they have a machine do it. I think that's horrible. They took away someone's job. I would have loved that job!

He then went on telling me about how he would make the job better, like by jumping into the barn from the roof and landing on the cow, or hiding in the hay until an unsuspecting cow moseyed over for a nibble and then he'd jump out and surprise them.

(sorry about the graphics . . .  I got a little carried away)

Of course most of it was for shock value, but really, you put a Vegan up against my husband and only one will back down - and it won't be him.