Forget the Pineapples, Eat the Effing Bear!
So Matt and I have been watching Lost recently. I'm not sure why. I hate this show. It's so frustrating. We started watching back when it was still in it's first season and we liked it. And then season two came around and we were like, "WTF?!" and I've read spoilers, and I'm even more "WTF?!" now.
I digress.
So for those who remember (or don't care) there were frickin' polar bears on the island in the first season. They actually shot one of the damn things when it tried to kill them. And then like five minutes later they're all, "We're so hungry! We're going to starve!" Umm . . . there's a dead 800 pound frickin' polar bear like 10 feet away. So I turned to Matt and said:
Me: Are bears like one of those animals that's not safe to eat or something?
Matt: You can eat bear. I've eaten bear before.
Me: You have not!
Matt: Yes I have!
Me: You're so full of crap.
Matt: I'm serious. When I was a kid one of my uncles, or a friend of the family sent us a bunch of meat and some of it was bear.
Me: Wait, you don't even know who supposedly sent you bear?
Matt: I can't remember, I was like six.
Me: You ate meat from someone you don't even know? And supposedly it was bear?!
Matt: It WAS bear.
Me: Did they leave the head on it?
Matt: No. But it was bear. My parents told me it was bear.
Me: Oh well, that makes perfect sense then.
Matt: Shut up.
Me: What does bear taste like?
Matt: Venison.
Me: You don't even remember. You've never eaten bear.
Matt: I have too!
Me: Excuse me waiter? Yes, thank you, I ordered my bear medium rare, and they've obviously overcooked the meat. And when you bring it back, could you ask the chef if this was salmon fed? Cause I only eat salmon fed bears.
For the record, I totally tried drawing this for you, but I couldn't stop laughing long enough to do it justice.
