So for those who aren't lazy bums (like me) who're only reading this through a feed reader, you can obviously tell that I've had my blog designed. I find it terribly sad that April Showers was somehow able to design my blog to make it "more me" than I ever was.Cause seriously.
This. Is. So. Me.
The blog design process is apparently a difficult one. I've always semi understood that as I usually quit several hours in and have my blog colored in pink for 6 months. But April stuck it out, and even put up with me in the process. So there are ways to usually thank your blog designer. Things like paying them, whoring them out to your friends and pimping them on your blog.
But frankly, two of those options seem to include some form of prostitution, and I'm a redheaded, redneckish Mormon - I have enough strange sex jokes to deal with.
So dear readers, here are my top 5 ways to Untypically thank your blog designer!
(Note: These are actual transcripts of conversations that took place between April and I this week)
1. Accuse her of having a fake "Blog Life" and a drug addiction.
Me: "I think that your next blog post should be like your daily schedule. Cause seriously, either you take speed or you've been lying and secretly you're like a hermit that lives in a basement making blog designs."
2. Order her to embarrass herself on a vlog just so you don't have to be the only idiot in the bloggernacle.
Me: "Okay, so this is what you and I are gonna do!!!!! You and I need to learn the dance to "Put a Ring on It" And we will videotape it and then play them simultaneously on blogs!"
April: LMFAO
3. Assault her with dirty talk while she concentrates on designing your blog.
Me: "You know what term I hate? "Wet my whistle" It sounds so dirty."
April: That's gross.
Me: I know, right?
4. Call her names.
Me: You're a whore.
(Note: I didn't actually call her this to her face . . . or in IM. She actually doesn't know that I think she's a whore. But technically she showed me a place to download like over 100 new fonts and I did that instead of laundry. So yeah. Whore.)
5. Threaten her life.
Me: "I wonder if I eat your heart if I could steal your stuff. Or is that power? I think it's power. But then I'd have your power and your stuff. *And a bump-it."
I guess what I'm trying to say is...
* Ahem, April has a bump-it.
6 comments:
This is my favorite post. Anywhere. Mainly because it's about me - but also because you managed to make what actually happened funny. Or maybe we just think it's funny because it was us and we are just that way. Or maybe you just used the word "whore" so much it made me smile.
Wow. I really should have stepped up my interactions with APril! Love the new look!
Anyone who can use the words whore, whore, Mormon and whore in the same blog post AND make it funny even though I don't know anyone IN the post deserves some kind of award. I'll have to think of one.
P.S. Shut UP, really? Someone actually OWNS a Bump It?
April - Yeah well you're an attention whore, so it kinda makes sense. ♥ U.
Kristina - To be fair, I'm pretty sure my interactions could have also been labeled an assault. She's just too nice to realise it.
Cecily - I must have that award. Or make it. But then I couldn't have it. LMAO . . . I just spent like 5 minutes trying to think up a good name for it but every single one I thought of was like totally sacrilegious! LOL!
And yes, April owns one and I'm going to own one too (when I steal hers.)
Coming over from MMB.....this is too funny. LOVE the layout. And the single ladies video made me oh so happy.....along with your flagrant use of the word whore.
wow this was really good! lol
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