Happy Anniversary Handsome Man

I can't believe it's been five years being your wife. I wish sometimes I could go back and relive every moment all over again. I wish I could truly savor every moment I have left with you, from here to eternity.

 

Thank you for your warm snuggles.

Thank you for adoring me always. Even when I'm sick, when I wear sweat pants, when I think I look horrible, when I'm angry, when I'm hormonal, when I'm rude and obnoxious, and when I'm not loving you enough.

Thank you for doing everything you can to be my protector, my priesthood, my ever loving eternal companion.

Thank you for looking out for me. For catching me when I fall (literally), for hugging me when I'm stressed, for kissing my aches and pains, and for watching me when I need an extra set of eyes, and offering help when I need an extra set of hands.

Thank you for your sweet kisses.

Thank you for the tingles you put through my spine.

I love you for being good with children, and for being the future father of my own children.

I love you for appreciating everything I do, even all of my imperfections and my mediocrity.

I love you for eating anything I make for you, and for loving it!

Even if it's sometimes questionable.

Thank you for that first dance at our wedding. Thank you for the countless dances you took me to in High School, at Church, and for the dances we've shared under the stars and in the kitchen.

Thank you for making me laugh, every single day. You are the joy in my life.

Thank you for making me smile. With your jokes, your gentle touch, your sweet words, your romantic gestures, your endless effort, and your own smile.

Did I mention the kisses?

Thank you for sticking by my side through the rough weather. Thank you for supporting me during all my strange ideas, during my constant changing plans, through my emotional outbursts and my overwhelming days.

Thank you for never letting go of my hand.

And the kisses . . . .

Oh the kisses!

Thank you for sharing eternity with me. For being my other mortal half, my other celestial half. From this moment on, nothing else matters . . . forever and ever babe . . . . time and all eternity.

I love you Matt -- Happy Anniversary.

And third . . . I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him

From This Moment On -- Nothing Else Matters

From This Moment On . . . .

Nothing Else Matters . . . .

Except Maybe for the Wedding Night!

13 Things That Went Wrong During Out Wedding (5 Years Ago)

1.We were late to the ceremony!
2. It snowed! (The first blizzard that hit Salt Lake that year.)
3. Hubby's wedding ring was too big, and we lost it in a snow bank in a cemetary!
4. Two of my family friends got into an argument in the temple!
5. My aunt Debbie got a ticket for illegal parking.
6. Some people didn't pay for their lunch so the rest of the family had to chip in.
7. I didn't get to eat anything at the reception.
8. MIL forgot to actually pay for our hotel room!
9. I had 3 pounds of colored bird seed shoved down the back of my dress by my cousin.
10. Forgot to pack a brush and had to leave the hotel looking very disheveled.
11. Forgot to warn my sister ahead of time that she, as my maid of honor, would need to give a speech.
12. Upon requesting a "wedding night speech" my cousin replied, "Why? You know more than the rest of us!" in front of my brand new in-laws.
13. In the hotel room, on our wedding night, the room service arrived at a very inopportune time.

At Least He Didn't Wipe it Off

I'm Mormon, and even though we recognise other religious days, we don't practice Ash Wednesday like Catholics. I honestly feel strange saying this, but I actually forgot it was Ash Wednesday today, but then again I didn't leave the house, and that is usually what clues me in. I mean, I live in New Mexico. At least 50% of the population is Catholic here. You kind of HAVE to know what Ash Wednesday is, or at least when it is.

Me: Did you know it's Ash Wedneday?

Matt: Of course I did. I went to work and everyone had that stuff on their forehead.

Me: You weren't mean were you?

Matt: No. I stopped being rude about it when I was like 15. Of course I didn't actually know what Ash Wednesday was back then.

Me: Are you serious?

Matt: Yeah. I was dating this Catholic girl and she came to school and I saw stuff on her forehead and said, 'Hey, you've got something on your forehead.' And she said, 'It's lent.' So I just said, 'Okay fine, you've got some lent on your forehead.'

Note: I have no shame in posting this, because I have lots of Catholic friends, and they all have a sense of humor. If you are Catholic and we're offended by this post (I'm sorry), but you should just be thankful that you're not a hippie, or a feminist liberal, or someone who works for PETA . . . cause then you wouldn't even get an apology.

photo by houseofsims

My Husband Would Never Kill a Child . . . . Sheesh!

Matt: Would you stay faithful to me if I was sent to prison?

Me: Probably.

Matt: Like no matter what?

Me: I think it depends.

Matt: On if I'm guilty?

Me: No, depends on what your guilty of.

Matt: What if I like . . . killed a kid or something?

Me: Did he deserve it?

Matt: . . . .

Me: What?

Matt: You ruined my punchline.

White Can Actually Be Slimming

I was going to randomly share pictures from our wedding and days prior to the wedding until I realised exactly how many pictures I actually had, which is, let's face it, borderline narcissistic of me to have so many pictures of myself. So instead of that, I put my old Bridal Portraits into one simple slide show for your viewing pleasure.

Bask in the beauty that was me 50 pounds ago!

Wordless Wedneday: Wedding Anniversary Edition

I found our old wedding disc photos while cleaning today. It seems perfect considering our 5 year anniversary is this Saturday.

Update: I also found my wedding ring burried in the same drawer. It's been missing for like, a year now. Whoops!

Love Dare -- Day One

As ya'll know, I'm participating in The Love Dare for the next 40 days. Today's dare is, "The first part of this dare is fairly simple. Although love is communicated in a number of ways, our words often reflect the condition of our heart. For the next day, resolve to demonstrate patience and to say nothing negative to your spouse at all. If the temptation arises choose not to say anything. It's better to hold your tongue than to say something you'll regret."

This really got me thinking about how many excuses I make each day to be negative. Sometimes I say things, sometimes I don't. But either way, by the end of my day, I'm usually bitter about something. This happens to a lot of women. We're perfectly fine, but then we break a dish, a nail, or lose a sock and the world suddenly falls apart. One time, we were kicked out of our apartment and I was perfectly fine to handle things, but then I couldn't find my gum and I completely lost my mind! LOL! So I wrote a poem in tribute to this first dare, and to all the funny little negative things that get women in a bad mood.

Patient and Positive
© Untypically Jia (02/25/2009)

Love Dare, Day One
Can't say mean things to honey bun
It says be positive today
In all I do, in all I say

Keep the grudges burried low
Better yet, just let them go
Smile and praise my husband even
When I feel I've nothing left to believe in

So when he snores while I'm still sleeping
I must pray to keep from weeping
And if he snoozes his alarm
I will gently wake him, and do no harm

I'll make the breakfast for my brood
And be gracious if I get food
Kiss my hubby at the door
Try not to act like a wild boar

Usher the kids off to school
Feed the baby, clean the drool
Walk the dogs and make the beds
Find some time to clear out my head

Vacuum the carpet, mop the floors
Fold the laundry, put it in drawers
Hang the clothes up, wipe the wall
Exchange some things down at the mall

Get grocery shopping done by one
Where'd I put that old hand gun?
And now the car's run out of gas
I need a vacation stat, first class!

Speeding home, too much to do
Got a ticket, money, adieu
Pay the bills, collect the trash
Forgot the mail, back in a dash


Wash the car, mow the lawn
You'd think by now the angers gone
But it's still there, I'm still bitter
And I can't find a baby sitter

Kids get home, still work to do
Homework, soccer, ballet too!
Church assignments, phone's a ringing
In the air, the toys are flinging

Fix up dinner, wash my face
Find my apron trimmed with lace
Where's that book? I need a reminder
To make sure I am much more kinder

Hubby's home, food is ready
This Love Dare thing still feels unsteady
Kids to bed, time to rest
At least for hubby, he thinks he's stressed?!

Hubby smiles and turns to me
Here it comes now, the third degree
"What did you do today?" Oh snap!
Be positive I think, don't lose your crap

"A little of this and a little of that,"
By now I know this patience down flat!
Now off to the kitchen to aide my sweet tooth
Love Dare, tomorrow, I think I'll pick truth.
__________________

Anniversary Countdown Begins

"Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. " (Genesis 2:24)

3 days left til 5 year anniversary . . .

I'm a Half-Way Help Meet

If you've been a follower of my blog for a while, you'll notice that I have a bit of an obsession with becoming a good wife. I've read countless books to help in my journey, here is a small list:

• Happy Housewives
• Sink Reflections
• Momstown Guide to Getting It All
• Fascinating Womanhood
• Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage 
• The Surrendered Wife 

And Created to Be His Help Meet! Which is actually going on in a study group over at the Happy Housewives Club forums. So I thought I would write my thoughts here, and share them with others in addition to posting on the forums and writing in my personal journal.

I've done this study group once before and have read the book also on my own. This time, I'll be reading it in addition to doing The Love Dare.

The last time I did the Created to Be His Help Meet study, it really helped my marriage. I find that every book I read and apply does something to help, so I'm hoping that going through this a second time will get me back on track. The first time, things were new and on occasion hard. Not because I didn't want to do them, but because they were so different from how I acted that sometimes, so my husband didn't believe it. So now, I hope that I can get over the "this is really me" thing, and go a little deeper.

When it comes to gender roles in marriage, I was raised by feminists mostly. Not the bra burning femi-nazis, but women who were forced into that role either by abuse, divorce or economic hardships. I'm one of very few women in my family to still be married. I'm one of few women in my family to get married before getting pregnant. And aside from my older sister, I am the ONLY stay at home wife in my entire family that I know of. Women worked. Women were not only equal to men, but possibly superior. We were more mature, therefore smarter and better at handling money, business and important decisions. And this is only IF you got married, after all, he's either going to beat you or cheat on you. That's what usually happened.

I've always been different tho. Aside from little girl dreams of being an actress/singer/veterinarian, I've always wanted to be a housewife and nothing else. That was my dream. The husband and I joke and say that aside from our technology addictions (internet for me, video games for him) we should have been born somewhere between the 1930's-1950's. We watch The Honeymooners, Dick Van Dyke and even Little House on the Prairie and think how good we "could have had it".

i ♥ faces - and pie!

i ♥ faces - Vegan Style

We ♥ Faces, but not Vegan BBQ Ribs.

Is Your Husband a Keeper?

I'm sick to death of women that complain so much about their husbands not being romantic, and yes, this does on occasion include myself. I can be a bitter haggish woman looking for my own Edward Cullen Prince Charming. But I'm sick of it.

That's why I created a list of things that husbands do to show their love, appreciation and romantic side (even if they don't really have one.) Check out the article at Happy to Be at Home, and don't forget to comment and let me know what great things your husband does to show his love!

Pic from Savage Chickens

Enchilada Cancer

The husband person isn't allowed to have his phone on at work anymore. Cause apparently texting your wife while doing bank-ish stuff is distracting. So I like to text him mass amounts of messages, so when he gets out of work and turns his phone back on, he has lots to read while he's driving home.

Text #1: I want enchiladas.

Text #2: Like, I'm pretty sure I'll die if I don't get enchiladas.

Text #3: Some rare enchilada disease will kill me.

Text #4: Enchiladaitis.

Text #5: Except that "itis" means "inflamation of". Inflamation of Enchiladas. That doesn't work.

Text #6: Enchilada Cancer.

Text #7: Cause they have a cancer for everything these days. Why not enchiladas?

Text #8: Enchilada cancer. It'll be the new cool fad. Everyone will want it.

Text #9: Instead of chemo, you get mole.

Text #10: And a guy named Pedro sells you wigs and hookers. (I'm not being racist, this actually happened to a friend of ours that went to Mexico on vacation.)

Text #11: Do we have unlimited texting? Cause that would suck if we didn't.

Text #12: Then you would have no money to buy me enchiladas.

Text #13: And then I'd get cancer.

Text #14: Cause you were too cheap to pay for unlimited texting.

Text #15: I hope you're happy. We're broke because of my texting, and I'm still hungry.

Text #16: And have enchilada cancer.

Text #17: Cancer might offend people tho. Maybe it's Enchilada AIDS, or Enchilada Polio.

Text #18: Did you know that polio killed 6,000 people in 1916?

Text #19: They must not have invented enchiladas yet.

Larry H. Miller Dies

I've written a tribute to Larry over at Modern Molly Mormon.

My Metrosexual Dog

Oh how I miss the days when Jasper would just fall asleep in my hand instead of waking me up at 2 in the morning because he's yapping. I think he's pissed that I bought him pink toys. Get used to it pal, your Momma's cheap and those suckers were on sale!

The Cutest Little Crap Machines Ever

 

I may not miss the yapping, the whining or the excess amount of fecal matter I had to clean up three times a day or more, but now that they've all found good homes, I will miss these sweet faces.

Dating Your Husband

Remember when you were younger and there were rules to dating?

• "Don't date anyone your friends have dated."
• "Don't crush on your friends boyfriends."
• "Never date your ex-boyfriends friends."

Of course you could ignore those top three like I did, and marry the guy in question.

But then when you get older, and married, and lazy like the rest of us, there comes a time when you need to pick up your spouse (figuratively) and take them out for a night on the town, or a night in from the town with pizza and sparkling cider. Either way, it's a date, and there are rules to follow. So check out my latest article over at Happy to Be At Home, The Do's and Don't's of Dating Your Husband.

Now That's Good Pie

One of my greatest satisfactions in life is making food and watching people truly enjoy it. For this reason alone I am glad that I learned how to bake pie, and that my niece Hannah enjoys eating it.

This apple pie is a mixture I made with Martha Stewart's Mile High Apple Pie, with Paula Deen's Perfect Pie Crust.

Valentines Makes Me Lazy

I'm so ashamed of myself. I haven't posted anything in like a week or so. How ridiculous is that? So to end my crappy writer's block brought on by a busy schedule, here are 13 Things I Was Busy Doing Instead of Blogging This Week:

1. Being kidnapped by my husband and taken to a hotel Friday night
2. Watching Twilight Saturday Morning!
3. Eating Steak
4. Playing Rock Band
5. Teaching Sunday School
6. Selling Puppies
7. Watching Twilight again Monday morning
   
8. Sleeping
9. Reading other blogs
10. Pretending to be organized
11. Counting the number of books I need to read for 3 separate book clubs
12. Work, work and house work.
13. Finishing Chapter 4 of Edge of Night (Twilight Continues!)
    

He's Romantical

Me: You know you want me.

Matt: For the rest of my life and forever and ever.

Me: Aww, I was being all perverted and you went all romantical on me.

He's a sweetheart like that.

I'm Incredibly Ungrateful, Forgetful or Just Plain Lazy

So well over a month ago, I received two awards from some dear friends of mine and I've yet to put them on my blog (until today) or even mention it. I'm amazed I still have followers, or friends for that matter. Maybe people should give me awards more often, that way I get used to it.

 

One of my best friends Desi gave me this one. And it comes with some rules:

Here are the "rules":

List six things that make you happy.
Pass the award on to 5 other bloggers
Link back to the person who gave you the award.
Link to the people you are passing it on to and leave them a comment to let them know.

6 things that make me happy:
1. Puppies that I don't have to clean up after.
2. Twilight dreams.
3. My sexy husband.
4. A day without being asked to do anything.
5. Pepsi.
6. Legally Blonde the musical.

5 Bloggers Who Deserve My Love:
The Purple Diva herself, CJ!
Debilyn at Reconstructing Mommy
Joy from Five J's
Kate from A Simple Walk
Toni the Happy Housewife

The next award was from Debilyn over at Reconstructing Mommy!

 

And it says . . . .  "These blogs are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find and be friends. They are not interested in self-aggrandizement. Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers. Deliver this award to eight bloggers who must choose eight more and include this cleverly-written text into the body of their award." 

Awws! I'm gonna pass this one onto these peeps!


Tiffany The Mother/Wife/Body Artist
April from April Showers
Desi from Neither Rhyme Nor Reason
Dana from Day by Dana
Amy from In Pursuit of Proverbs 31

PS: My love is unconditional for all of you, but seriously, CJ made me a button just special for me and my illness, so she's kinda the favourite at the moment. I'm easily bought.

13 Reasons Why My Husband is My Own Edward Cullen

1. They may not be written with beautiful handwriting, or placed on my pillow while I'm sleeping, but my sweet love notes come regardless, through text messages, and are just as sweet.
2. When we first met, our love was forbidden. (My best friend was in love with him.)
3. He may not fight vampires and werewolves to protect me, but he's still my hero.
4. Anytime I'm in the car with him I beg him to drive slower.
5. It may not be lilacs, honeysuckle and sunshine, but my man smells wonderful to me.
6. He spent years before our marriage competing with another guy (one of my best friends in fact) for my affections.
7. He may not have ice cold skin, but he still gives me goosebumps.
8. I may not have my own lullaby, but my husband does play music for me.
9. He throws self hating tantrums anytime he thinks that he's accidentally hurt me. It's really annoying.
10. I've caught him watching me sleep.
11. Like Edward, he can't help but be a little strange, even when he's romantic.
12. I'm going to spend eternity with him, all because he saved my life.
13. I am unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him.

 

 

Girls Gone PMS

photo by mike licht

It's so strange how PMS can really change your outlook on things, especially your husband. I don't know why I did it, but boy did I make a MAJOR mistake. After a particularly rough day of dealing with a dirty house, my mother in law, and this stupid vegan diet Matt came home to a wife suffering from PMS.

I began telling him about my day, just wanting to rest in the arms of my protective man. He tried pushing me aside (while still listening) to grab steak seasoning in the cupboard so he could try and fix US something to eat (that's right, I haven't perfected the domestic goddess within yet.)

Because he was so busy doing something nice for us, I interpreted this as him not listening and proceeded to tell him so. I walked off, leaving him in the kitchen and I went to bed. He didn't come to bed until 6 this morning, a half hour after I actually woke up for the day. *sigh* Does anyone have a "Warning: PMS" stamp I can put on my forehead for his sake?