Accepting Help When Needed

I am a very stubborn woman.

More so, I am a caretaker, a nurturer and a helper. I have been my whole life. Even when I was a child and being cared for myself, I was always on the lookout to make sure that my Grandmother was well cared for, that my other family members were emotionally stable. Even now, I am a peace keeper. The one who goes in to remove the damage, heal hearts and cause laughter. I'm eager to help those in need. Encouraged daily by myself to reach out to help others across the internet whether they be in need of information, friendly advice or just someone to talk to.

What I am not used to doing is accepting help from others.

I am a survivor. I've told myself this my whole life. Gone through death and darkness, abuse and emotional distress. Even as an adult, suffering from anxiety disorders and physical limitations I am still the person who seeks out others to help, instead of asking for it for myself.

My aunt taught me to never pray for patience because the Lord will give it to you abundantly! In ways that will not reward you patience, but TEACH you patience. So my question is, when exactly did I pray for humility?

And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them. (Ether 12:27)

This last week has been a difficult one for me. Thanks to an injury that's still not specific, I've been practically on bed rest. Dependent on others for my care and the care of my family. It's frustrating when muscles and bones limit your abilities, creating basic function something of dread. Today I did a load of dishes, made some jello, made the bed, and fed the dogs. After the last few days, I consider this a great triumph! Even checking my email has been someone strenuous thanks to nausea inducing medications to ease my back pain. Thankfully tho now, I am overcoming this pain and can smile as I look at my computer screen and see dozens of emails from dear friends offering prayers for my recovery.

It's still strange. I sometimes think, "It's not really that bad. So many others could use those prayers instead of me. I don't want to feel so helpless." But are prayers given only to the helpless? Perhaps they are given merely as an act of love. And I don't know what the prayers are saying. Certainly some may be asking God for my full and fast recovery, but I'm certain there's someone out there saying, "Let her learn something from this."

So hopefully I will.

So far I've learned. . .

• When I need help, I need to ask for it, and be grateful for it!
• When push comes to shove, my husband is the most dependable person in my life!
• TV dinners taste fantastic when you have cotton-mouth and can no longer stomach chicken broth.
• Visiting Teachers are angels in disguise.

I've also learned that when I am fully back on my feet, I shouldn't take so much on myself. I need to space things out more, relax more often, laugh at my shortcomings, and never put other things before God and my family . . . and that everything is a learning experience that teaches us something very important for our lives.

And if thou shouldst be cast into the pit, or into the hands of murderers, and the sentence of death passed upon thee; if thou be cast into the deep; if the billowing surge conspire against thee; if fierce winds become thine enemy; if the heavens gather blackness, and all the elements combine to hedge up the way; and above all, if the very jaws of hell shall gape open the mouth wide after thee, know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good.

The Son of Man hath descended below them all. Art thou greater than he? (Doctrine and Covenants 122:7-8)

Daily Gratitudes:

1. A husband who worked overtime this week to come home and do laundry, cook, clean, feed and take care of the dogs, rub my back, hold my hair and ultimately sacrifice his side of the bed because it's more comfortable.
2. In-laws who despite my objections, came over bringing gifts of chicken soup, TV dinners and an additional priesthood holder.
3. Friends and family members who offered prayers, help and a friendly ear despite their own current trials.
4. A body that was created by a God who knows how to heal.
5. Humility -- and patience.
   

Featured at: Gratituesday