I received several emails the other day after my post discussing my thoughts on feminists commenting on my blog. One reader pointed out that - in the heat of the moment - I painted with too broad of a brush when it came to feminists. So I wanted to clarify what I meant.
When I think of feminists, I'm thinking of bra burning women who not only want the same rights as men, but want to be better than men, want to put men under their feet and stomp on their heads. Want to show how much better they are than men. They are prideful, masculine, and often unbelievably offensive! These are not the women that fight for the rights of women everywhere to have any choice in life. These are women who don't settle for equality, but seek power, and often criticize good women who "choose" to be homemakers, calling them uneducated and weak.
These are the feminists that I am strongly opposed to.
I do not believe women are weaker than men, should be abused by men, used and discarded. I also do not believe that men are weaker than women. I believe in equality at it's most celestial core, and that is that though we are equal, we are different. I believe there are things that my husband can - and should - do that I cannot, or should not. I likewise believe that there are things that I can - and should - do that he cannot, and should not. And no, I'm not talking about the dishes.
Some of my friends have spoken about the different between feminists and feminism before, and since they say it better than I do, I'll simply quote them (and please, to read more from these great women, click on the links to their blogs. It will further explain their thoughts on the matter in full context):
Liss, from Fascinating Womanhood said, "I am a feminist—yes and yet I write this blog, and live by the principles of Fascinating Womanhood! I am what would be referred to as a conservative feminist. Sometimes referred to as a first-wave feminist. This is the feminism that wants equality under the law. It culminated in the 1920s and 1930s. Second-wave feminism was begun in the 1960s, continued during the 1970s and petered out in the 1980s ... Third-wave feminism ... is typically cited as having begun in the 1990s but it (along with conservative feminism) actually is rooted in the writings of several 17th century writers. This is so-called progressive feminism which declares that there is no real material, emotional, mental, ideological or biological difference between the genders."
In the same dicussion on Fascianting Womanhood, April from April Showers said, "Many feminists attempt to make themselves equal to men by appearing more “masculine” and attempting to be LIKE men rather than be EQUAL to men."
Anna from Domestic Felicity, one of my all-time favourite bloggers said, "I understand that feminism probably didn't grow out of nowhere. There must have been men who abused their power and their role of leadership, and mistreated their wives and daughters. There are still such men out there. The right answer, in my eyes, would have been to make those men behave the way they should ... reminded that he is supposed to love his wife as himself, and respect her more than himself, there would be no need to "protect" women. But feminists preferred to cast off masculine leadership altogether - with the disastrous consequences of broken society, ruined homes and marriages, and children who don't know their fathers."
There are plenty of others that I could quote, but I think my thoughts are obvious. It's not the feminst movement that offends me. It's not the fact that I have the right to vote, the ability to choose, to own property, to achieve success in the work force - if I decided to. It's the fact that I've seen - first hand - how extremely liberal, masculine and sometimes brutal feminism has destroyed families. Has made good men weak, and marriages pointless. It has made the idea of being a homemaker, raising children, and loving - and yes serving - your husband, a position of slavery.
It is this, that offends me.
So for those who emailed me, stating that my broad brush painted you a militant or masculine feminist, when you, like Liss and perhaps myself are more conservative feminists . . . I do apologise.
Image: FreeDigitalPhotos.net
2 comments:
I do appreciate this post, Jia. Hope you're over any hard feelings. I'm certainly past that now.
I do find being accused of being a feminist highly insulting. Aside from a few days a month of pain and mess, I *like* being female and am quite satisfied to trust God's wisdom in giving men and women different, equally necessary roles to play. When someone tries to label me a feminist, what I hear is that I'm in rebellion against God's plan for His children, and that is about the last thing I ever want to be.
I do NOT believe that those different roles automatically place women in an inferior role to men and am disgusted by the anger toward men and toward God displayed by current feminism.
Some feminists devote much angst to the existence of the letter strings "m-e-n" or "m-a-n" in words in English. Give me a break! There are a lot of countries where women cannot drive, vote, attend school, or even leave their homes without a male relative as escort, where pre-pubescent girls are subjected to genital mutilation and/or forced into arranged marriage against their will, and you're freaking out over how oppressed you are by such trivia? I can't take people seriously who spend that kind of effort on something that minor just to show how "enlightened" they are.
As an LDS woman who grew up with a "Ms."-reading mother and converted in adulthood, I am quite satisfied with the present order of things in the Church. I don't WANT the priesthood! Why should I? I get all the blessings of having the priesthood on the earth, I don't have the obligations associated with holding it, and I get my own quite wonderful role in life (granted, I'm not a bio mother, but do affectionate aunt/teacher to the best of my ability). Seems to me that we LDS women get the best of the deal. :)
I do not feel you should have to apologize for the way other people interpret your words. In fact, they have no one but themselves to blame for how they react to something.
That's just me..
Never apologize for being you, Jia.
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