I'm often baffled when I hear my friends, family members or perfect strangers complain about losing the spark in their marriage. Sure the initial love tingles that come along with finding someone new eventually fade, but that doesn't mean that the love boat has sunk!
The tingles come so easily at first. When hubby and I first met, it was forbidden love. We had been dating each others best friends for crying out loud, and then when those relationships dissolved , we found ourselves in each others arms! He was a good Mormon boy (well, not that good at the time) and I was a practicing Wiccan. Not to mention, he wasn't allowed to date in the first place. Everything about our love was forbidden, rebellious, and made for such good teen angst!
But the forbidden love turned into pancakes together at midnight, and the teen angst turned into Sunday mornings at Church together, and all the drama turned into watching Biggest Loser together every Tuesday night. It sounds terribly boring in comparison right? Well I think that's the problem with marriage.
We so often compare marriage now to how it was then, but marriage changes, just as we ourselves change. The point is, that it takes effort. The tingles make life easy, and as much fun as it would be to carry those around forever, the chances are unlikely if you just expect it to happen.
So how do you make it happen then? In little but very significant ways. Check out Happy to be at Home to read my latest article, 10 Tips on Keeping the Spark Alive, or At Least Not Killing It.
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3 comments:
True dat, chicky! Hubs and I have our 4 year anniversary upcoming, and I know it doesn't seem long to some people..but things have changed. And those things have made me very sure that we'll be together forever. Just like you and Matticus! <3<3
Love the series you are doing at H2b@H. You are a really a great asset to our team!
Toni
Jia, you rock, as always! I'm going over there now to read your article, but I totally agree with your post. My hubs & I have been married for 3 years, and we completely spark each other - but we have to work at it, and I think some people don't understand or accept that.
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