George Lucas is Responsible for Most of the Evil in This World

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Hook was one of the best movies ever. I honestly can say that Hook is like a free pass for anything horrible Robin Williams did afterward, (License to Wed excluded, there's no getting out of that disaster.)

So after watching Hook this morning, curiosity called me to IMDB with a desire to know what happened to all the little lost boys in the great land of Hollywood. It turns out that most of them did stuff that I've never heard of, but holy snap! Remember Peter's little daughter? The one who sang that pretty song on the pirate ship? Well this is what she looks like now! And then I looked up how old she was, and she's my age. How did that happen? I could not have been that young when Hook came out. I know I'm "only" 24, but slowly I'm beginning to notice that people who were my age when I was young are getting old, and according to the math, that means that I am too. It's unpleasant.

Like the other week in Sunday School, our students were asking us questions, something along the lines of "What were 8-tracks like?" "Was the Vietnam war like?" and "Did you know JFK personally?" I may be exaggerating, either way we turned and I said, "How old do you think we are?" Most of the sweet and lovely little children were polite enough to label me somewhere between 22 and 28, when one kid shouted out, "35?"

35!?!? "I'm barely ten years older than you are you little . . !!" Kidding, I don't yell at my students. But she might have been able to read thoughts, I'm not sure. Either way, when did it become okay for kids half my age to think I was like 3 times their age? It's upbringing I tell you. Kids aren't taught manners. Or math. And none of them have calendars.

So I went back to looking through IMDB at all the people in Hook, and did you know that a bunch of actually famous people played random pirates? Glenn Close, David Crosby, and Jimmy Buffett are all pirates in Hook apparently. And then Carrie Fisher is listed as "Woman Kissing on Bridge", and I was like "Woah! Honey! Carrie Fisher apparently kisses someone on a bridge in Hook!" And then beneath her was listed: George Lucas as "Man Kissing on Bridge" and that just didn't sit well in my stomach. I mean, Carrie Fisher will always be Princess Leia, and George Lucas will always be old and pudgy, and now he's probably some sort of pervert that planned this all along. Get Princess Leia to wear a metal bikini in his movie, and then stalk her to another movie where he just happens to play her counter part on some dark strange bridge, and she can't exactly say no, because she's getting paid for the part, and really, she hasn't done much since Star Wars anyways, so she probably needs the money.

And then I realised that Steven Spielberg directed Hook, and so he officially has become George Lucas' pimp.

Honestly, where's Han Solo when you need him?

He's playing with freaking aliens, that's where he is.



Edit: My husband suggested putting "Spoiler Alert" before the whole "Han Solo playing with aliens thing", but honestly if you haven't seen the movie yet, I'm either ashamed to know you . . . or I'm saving you a rental fee. Maybe both.