He Said What?!

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I hopped out of the shower this morning and put on these really comfortable black dress pants and one of my favourite white tops with sparklies all over the bust area. I don't even remember when I bought it, but I used to wear it at least once a week. After getting dressed, I did the typical womanly thing and posed in the doorway with my hands out. Female sign language for "How do I look?"

Matt ignored the signal at first, so I emphasized more with my hands until I eventually was forced into speaking aloud. "How do I look?" I asked, towel wrapped around my head as I walked into the room towards the computer to sit down and put my shoes on.

Now, my gentle male readers, this is an educational moment for you all. If a woman asks this, you can reply with "Beautiful," "Perfect," or even "Cute." If she looks like crap, you can even be a little truthful and sometimes get away with saying things like, "Well that's not my favourite shirt, but it looks good on you." What you should never do is . . .

Matt: "Cute. Like Liza Minnelli's chubby cousin."

Me: "WHAT?!"

Matt: "Wait . . ."

Me: "WHAT!?"

Matt: "It's a good thing. You've got like jazz pants on with a glittery top. It's a . . . "

Me: "BLOGGING!"

FTB: "Don't do that, people will think I'm a jerk."

Me: "How about that!"

Matt: "At least let me take a picture of you to post in my defense."

He's lucky I have a good sense of humor and I actually love Liza.