How to Embarass Your Husband at the Post Office

Matt: Yeah, we got a slip that says we missed a package and it would be waiting for us here.

Postal Worker: (Hides her handgun . . . kidding . . . maybe) Okay, do you have the paper we left you?

Matt: No, but here's my ID. All I remember was that it said it was from Hong Kong.

Postal Worker: Well let me go see if I can find it.

Me: It could be the book I ordered.

Matt: From Hong Kong?

Me: Maybe it was published in Hong Kong.

Matt: Or maybe you're having a secret affair with some guy named Hong, from Hong Kong.

Me: Give me a minute, I'm sure I can come up with a joke about Bangkok. (Cause I'm really twelve.)

Matt: Shh . . . (laughing)

Me: I swear baby, he meant nothing to me (getting louder) it was just sex and mahjong!

Matt: . . . .

Postal Worker Here you go. (hands Matt a small package)

Matt: It says it's for Dad.

Me: I have some serious questions for Hong!

Matt: . . . .

Me: I probably should have worn a bra today before attracting all this attention huh?