Untypically in Love: Jackpot

Read the full story, chapter by chapter here.

Some names and events have been changed to protect the identity of certain individuals.

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Chapter Forty-Two
Jackpot

I'd arrived in Utah on New Years Day, ready to begin my new life; my clean slate. Yet there I stood at the Salt Lake Airport, ready to step onto a plane that would take me back to New Mexico. It was April now and though Utah still had a chilly bite in the air, I knew that New Mexico would be full of the perfect warmth. Not to mention the weather would be nice as the well known "April showers bring May flowers"didn't often apply to the southwest.

"I'll see you in a week," I hugged Debbie. "Don't have too much fun without me."

"You just be safe, and have fun," my aunt smiled back at me before kicking me to the curb, luggage and all.

I nervously looked up at the airport recalling the last time I'd been on a plane which was years ago. I wasn't afraid to fly. The anxiety was related to my purpose for going back to New Mexico. One that I'd figured out a month earlier. That little thing missing in my life.

"Hey, my flight leaves in a half hour. They're going to start boarding soon." I said into my cell phone, a small reminder to my ride to make sure to be on time. "You gonna ditch me at the airport?" I smirked sarcastically. "Yeah I know . . ." I exhaled. "I can't wait to see you too."

"We are now boarding Flight 245 to Albuquerque, New Mexico. . . ."

"Gotta go," I said quickly. "See you soon." 

Josh and I had stayed in communication most of the time while I was in Utah. We'd email at least once or twice a week, depending on where Josh could log in as he didn't seem to have a computer at home. My internet access all depended on my aunt Debbie's dial up AOL, which at the time seemed so very fast and amazing.

The emails I got from Josh only made me miss home that much more. I missed my family and my friends, even though I resolved that Utah was now my home. I just managed to forget to pack a few things on the way here: my heart for one.

I'd told Josh a few days ago that I was planning on coming back to New Mexico for a short trip. I mentioned how I missed everyone and Josh seemed excited to see me. He said that we'd have to get together and do something, a whole bunch of us. Bowling perhaps. He and Matt had apparently signed up together for a local competition and took home some fancy bowling balls as trophies of their victory.

It would be nice to see them all again.

The flight was relatively short, and before I reached the pick up or bag claim area, I rushed into the bathroom to double check my hair which was now about six inches shorter than it had been when I'd left. "Get it together," I said to myself nervously in the mirror, adjusting the black baby doll t-shirt I'd chosen especially for this occasion. My hands were practically shaking as I reapplied my lip gloss. Taking in one last deep breath I left the bathroom and did my best to strut toward the pick up area of the airport.

My own "pump me up" song played silently in my head and I moved each step in time with the beat. I stood tall, faked confidence despite my complete and utter fear of rejection. But what was there to reject? I'd already put myself out there a month ago when I called to make things right again.

That phone call was painful.

 "I know you might not want to hear this, but I'm sorry . . . and there are a few things you need to know about me." And then I confessed everything. Every dirty secret I'd held within over the last year. The whole mess with Joseph and Riley, and everything that came with it. All my mistakes.

"I'm not your Bishop," he replied. "But if you need my forgiveness, you have it."


"I need more than that." The tears begun forming. "I need you."

"That last kiss . . . " He sighed. "I was okay before that. I'd decided I was done and I was okay with you leaving. But that last kiss . . . "

"I know." I agreed.

We hadn't told many people. Didn't want to jinx it. I'd spent almost five years jumping between Josh and Matt and hurting them both and I knew this needed to be taken seriously. We weren't kids anymore. We had jobs and bills and a future to think about. So our secret was kept just for us.

As I moved through the airport toward the escalator, I saw my first glimpse of him in months and my heart nearly skipped a beat. I froze in my tracks, letting him come to me despite the urge to throw myself down the escalator into his arms. The closer he moved, the better it felt. That missing piece of me that had plagued me in Utah was standing right in front of me now, and when he smiled I suddenly felt complete and whole again.

"You . . . look . .. " He eyed me up and down with appreciation.

"Face it Tiger," I grinned. "You just hit the jackpot."

And then he kissed me.

Kissed me like the last kiss had never existed, or any kisses before. His hand slid around my waist and pulled me closer against him and I could feel the butterflies in my stomach immediately take flight. I prayed the kiss would never end, but also hoped that it would before I caught myself lifting my back foot in a very fairy princess style.

Eventually it did end and I exhaled quickly, most of it in relief.

"I love you," he said as he looked into my eyes, brushing his hand against my cheek.

"I love you too, Matt."

"So did you really agree to this bowling thing tonight?" Matt asked me as we drove down the road, getting further and further away from the airport. "Josh said it might be a good idea."

"Yeah, it'll be fun. Just get everyone together. My sister, your brother and his new wife, Josh and whoever else wants to come." I smiled. "I only have a week and while I'd like to spend most of it with you, I want to see everyone else while I'm here."

We pulled into the driveway of my old home and before I could step one foot in the door, Kristine came out and wrapped me in a big hug. "You're home!"

"Well . . . not home, but yeah, I'm here." I looked up at the old house and sighed. No, she was right. This was home still.

"Here, let's get your luggage in the house," Kristine reached for a bag.

"I got it," Matt smiled and lifted both of my suitcases, carrying them inside.


"So you're back together?" Kristine asked with a raised brow.

"What?" I blinked.

"Oh please," she rolled her eyes. "It's obvious."

"Well it's also kind of a secret. We don't want anyone else to factor into this right now. We want to focus on us. You know how family and friends can get. They'll start bringing up the long distance thing, not to mention the fact that he's going on a mission soon." I sighed.

"No worries, my lips are sealed." Kristine smiled and hugged me again.

"I thought that was you," Josh's voice called me from behind and I turned and smiled brightly, reaching up to hug him. "You look good, Jess."

"You too." I smiled.

"Everything's inside," Matt said as he came back out to the rest of us.

"Let me go say hi to my aunt and then I'll be ready to go," I grinned, rushing inside. I only had a short time left here and I didn't want to spend one second of it going 'Umm . . . so what do you wanna do?' I knew what I wanted to do, who I wanted to see and where I wanted to go.

I did not however want to wear bowling shoes.


"These make me feet look big." I mumbled looked down at my hot pink and green and yellow bowling shoes.

Josh sat down next to me and laughed. "You're feet look fine. Dainty even."

"Smart ass." I narrowed my eyes at him.

"So tell me all about Utah. I only get to see bits and pieces of it in your emails." He leaned down to tie his own black, brown, and neon green shoes.

"What you see is what you get." I shrugged. "I work all day at the hospital, come home in time to check a few emails before crashing, and then I do it all again the next day."

"So no social life?" He smirked.

"Not much. I have friends from the singles ward, and we occasionally hang out and do things." 


"Singles ward huh?" Josh smiled. "So you're not dating anyone up there?"

I blinked as a wave of panic flew through me. I paused and thought over the question before answering. "No, I'm definitely not dating anyone up there." I gave a sigh of relief as Matt returned to the group after paying for most of us, immediately taking the seat to my right.

After my turn, I went back to my seat between Josh and Matt. A smile crept across my face as I felt Matt's arm move around my shoulders. We had agreed to keep our relationship mostly private, but apparently he was willing to break the rules a little. I looked over and smiled at him and watched as he reached out and took my right hand into his left.

Wait . . .

I blinked a few times before turning to my left and seeing that the arm around my shoulders was not Matt, but Josh! When Josh caught me staring, he smiled and squeezed one of my shoulders with his hand.

Uh oh.

Sh*t People Say

Sh*t People Say. It's the new planking. Or something.

If you haven't heard about these videos, then you've clearly been playing too much Farmville. Or possibly having a life outside of the internet.

I think it all started with a video called Sh*t Girls Say which was hilarious and about 98% completely true. Since then, there have been many more videos including Sh*t Boys Say, Sh*t Gay Guys Say, Sh*t Gamers Say and even Shiz Mormons Say.


I have a Pinterest board of my favourites so far.

I searched on YouTube and couldn't find a decent Sh*t Bloggers Say. Which was strange because you'd think that we'd all jump on board for that one, right?

Which caused me to think up a really awesome idea.

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Me: I'm thinking of doing a video on my blog called Stuff Jia Says. (I said stuff instead of sh*t because I was talking to my mother in law).

MIL: What would it be about?

Me: *blink* Stuff I say. Just stuff that I say all the time.

MIL: *sigh*  . . . . I wish you wouldn't curse.

Me: You mean on the video? Cause then it would just be a five second long video of me saying, "I want a Pepsi" or something.

MIL: I mean in general.

Me: Don't worry, I'll put bleeps on the video or something whenever I curse.

MIL: You could just stop cursing altogether.

Me: We'll see. Depends if I can figure out how to insert bleeps on the video.

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To be fair, I've been doing really good. I never curse in front of my family. Or at least Matt's family. My family doesn't care. Some of them curse more than I do. But in the house and around other people, I'm good. I know it's a bad habit and I should stop. 

But cursing to me is a lot like smoking. See, back when I used to smoke, I didn't smoke because I was addicted to it or didn't know any better. I LIKED to smoke. I really, genuinely enjoyed it. But I quit because I knew it wasn't healthy, I wanted to live a long and happy life, and the sonsofbitches were milking my money stash. Cursing is a lot like that. I enjoy cursing. I can stop in certain situations like I used to do with smoking. The only real difference is that I don't need to pay five bucks per pack of swear words.

We'll see how it goes.

PS: This post was so not about cursing. It was about the video idea that completely got away from me.

Love, Yourself - January Update

For those just tuning in, for the last two years I have been writing letters to myself that automatically post on my blog each month throughout the year. It's my way of keeping up with progress and showing myself the difference an entire year can really make. Instead of obsessing on the little things, I'm looking at the big picture.

So earlier this month the letter I'd written myself from January 2011 posted.

And here is the difference that one year can make.

January 2010 Letter - You were working at the gas station and you could barely walk less than a block to work without your legs hurting.

January 2011 Update - You and Matt went to Santa Fe and walked everywhere and you loved it! Make it your goal to walk more. Even if it's just around the block every other day or something. Even if you're just walking around the backyard a few times. Get outside and walk! You can do it. Your legs are not broken anymore and despite what doctors said when you were two, YOU CAN WALK. My guess is, somewhere inside of that body, you even have the potential to run!

It's January 2012 now and I've fallen behind a lot. Since we now live with Matt's parents, we have a large backyard and the need to take the dogs on daily walks has decreased dramatically. It's been a few months since I've been to the gym, but I am hopeful. I know I can do this because obviously I've done it in the past. Just need to get over this current sinus cold, and then I'll be ready to get going!

This time last year . . . you were taking care of Motherlys home while she went on vacation. It was a mini vacation for you too, but unfortunately you didn't get to spend much time with Motherly. She's one of few "parents" you've got left so go out of your way to call her every now and then. Which reminds me . . . call Debbie too. And Dad. And call your Grandmother while you're at it! At least once a month for crying out loud.

Luckily I was able to visit Motherly again this year for New Years, and I was even able to stay a few extra days to spend time with her which was much needed. Not only that, but Matt, MIL and I went back to Colorado on a road trip to visit Matt's brother and his family which include one of our nephews and two of our little nieces. Family is so important, and this month we've really had our eyes opened to that.

Also, you and Matt went to Santa Fe - which turned out to be one of your favourite places on earth! This is something that you both really love to do. It gets you out of the house, there's good food to be eaten, good sites to be seen and you get to spend real quality time with one another. Maybe from now on tho, you should PLAN to go to Santa Fe. So do that this month. Make a plan to go, and start saving up for it.

I'm not sure how we'll the planning will do for this. On our way back from Colorado, Matt and I insisted on driving through Santa Fe since we were going to be in the area anyhow. We went back to our favourite little french bakery and took MIL there to enjoy the experience with us. Then the three of us made messes of ourselves while eating cream puffs, fruit tarts and napoleons while trying to drive through the city.

Your Weight . . . 

January 2010 - 250 Pounds

January 2011 - 243 Pounds

January 2012 - I started the year off at 239, which wasn't my best weight from 2011 but still in comparison it's better than a year ago, and for that I can say that I am proud!

Picture Yourself . . .

January 2010

January 2011

January 2011

I can see a little bit of weight difference in my face, my chin especially. And of course there is the hair. I think cutting your hair is a blogger trend for 2012 (I know of at least two of my blogging friends that have chopped their locks recently). I went into Sallys last week to check out some hair dye as my roots were looking nasty. Matt told me that he thought I could go bolder and that he wanted me to have the confidence and self esteem I used to have.

So bold I went. And I'm loving it.

Elicious Cookbook Giveaway! *Closed*

My friend Jenna from Newlyweds-Blog.com offered me a copy of her new cookbook to check out a few months ago, and then because she's completely awesome she offered to give one of my readers a free copy as well!

Not only that, but all of my readers will be able to purchase her cookbook for 20% off by using the code: E-LICIOUS20

I really enjoyed this cookbook. The recipes are easy to follow and delicious to make.

To enter leave a comment below answering the following question: 

What were meals like when you were Newlyweds?

(if you're not married, then tell me your favourite flavor of Top Ramen.)

(That's not an insult. I love Top Ramen.)
(My husband however hates it.)
(We ate it a lot when we were Newlyweds.)

For extra entries like/follow Newlyweds Blog on Facebook, subscribe through RSS and/or email and leave a separate comment telling me that you've done so. (One comment each for Liking on Facebook and Subscribing).

This giveaway will end this Wednesday, January 25th at Midnight and a winner will be chosen Thursday morning.

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Winner: Renee G!